Marrying for pension?

[Newnamefornow1]

I've NC for this, but tonight I had a conversation with one of my oldest best friends about a FB chat about your pension dying with you if you weren't married. One poster mentioned about a pact with a male friend that if either got a terminal diagnosis, they would marry so their pension would go to their spouse. I was telling my friend about it and joked that i might speak to my exBF and suggest same as we both have good pensions (we're still very good platonic friends). My female friend then said she would marry me as she doesn't have a pension. We're both single, 53 years old, heterosexual females, no partners at minute.... made me wonder if this would actually work or I am being totally unreasonable? 🤔

FWIW I still live in hope of getting swept off my feet, but if i couldn't find someone to marry me when i was younger, shinier hair and a size 10-12, I can't see me finding him with me battling the menopause weight gain and all its wonderful surprises (not to forget 2 hormonal moody teenagers).

AIBU to think this is actually a good idea?

I have two platonic friends who have done this. They have fantastic pensions that would go to waste otherwise.

I knew of a very charitable older lady who had no children, who entered a civil partnership with a younger disabled woman she looked after to protect the younger woman after the older woman’s death.

My personal opinion is that these situations only really work where neither party has any other dependants of their own. I think that where there are other dependants there’s too many risks involved - as YetMoreNewBeginnings points out the spouse could then have claims over other assets that you would want to go to your children and it could all get very messy.

My low cal authority pension can only be left to a spouse. Death in service can go to DC.

It is complicated, I have a partner (not my DC dad). We are both financially independent and secure in our finances. However, we are in our 40's and I would like to think we will live together at some point. But even joining assets feels a pain. I know I can protect my share, but if I die before my DP it would be unfair to make him leave our home and that would mean he is sitting on my DC inheritance.

We currently both have our own mortgage free homes.

*local authority pension

My DP has no DC, so he doesn't share my concern.

Just to clarify re Local Government pensions (LGPS).

If you die there’s two elements that might get paid out. The first is a death grant lump sum and this can be left to whoever you like (spouse, partner, children, next door neighbour).

Then there’s pensions that could be payable to your dependants. If you have children under 18 (or under 23 if still in full time education) they will be entitled to pensions payable until they reach those ages. If you’re married or in a civil partnership your spouse/civil partner will get a pension for the rest of their life.

If you have a co-habiting partner, they MAY be entitled to a pension. If you left the LGPS before 1 April 2008 then they won’t be entitled. If you have paid into the LGPS since that date then co-habiting partners can receive a pension as long as they meet certain criteria.

See here for more info: www.lgpsmember.org/help-and-support/frequently-asked-questions/?faq-type=after-you-die

You don’t understand pensions that have a spousal benefit.

I sort of did it… I wasn’t at all bothered about re-marrying my second husband, and I only did because of my hefty spousal pension benefit. So it’s a YANBU from me!

Does he understand your concern for your DC?

@YetMoreNewBeginnings yes he does. My DP would leave everything to me and my DC.

My mum died young. My dad is in a new relationship. They have kept separate houses because of how his partners will/ pensions are set up.

If my dad moved in with his DP she would have to pay her EX Husbands children half the house value. Their dad passed away over 10 years ago. They have no relationship with my dads partner. They can't access their inheritance. I think this does add to my concern.

Your NOK can be anyone you name , not automatically a spouse. I work in a hospital. My partner and I are each others.