to ask every user of MN to PLEASE

[Winniethepoohandtiggertoo]

Not encourage posters to withhold information from their health visitors or social workers.

This is becoming a common theme on here - OP says she feels ‘harassed’ by HV, and wants to know how to avoid or ‘sack’ them.

Upon further pressing there are usually some worrying factors at play - a violent/criminal partner usually.

It’s deeply irresponsible to affirm these posters
and encourage them to disengage with the authorities just because you ‘once had a HV you didn’t like’ or whatever.

Please just stop and consider that the OP may well not be disclosing everything, or objectively - in fact, that’s far more likely than HVs ‘harassing’ new mums ‘for the sake of it’.

Bump.

Agree also with telling nurseries/ childminders/ schools to MTOB when concerns are raised.

Agreed.

Hvs haven’t got the staff numbers to needlessly harass someone. Neither have social workers. And nurseries are on their knees too.

Yanbu

Where there are already risk factors then refusing to engage with services/disengaging is another big red flag and is likely to prompt more scrutiny rather than less. People don't seem to realise this when they're encouraging posters to refuse to engage with these agencies. When it comes to child protection issues, it goes hugely in the parent(s) favour if they show that they're willing to work with support services.

Agreed

Yes, a lot of irresponsible advice on here about HVs.

This is clearly in response to the thread about a new mum who's HV was rude, made the op feel judged and repeatedly asked innapropriate questions about why the op had a difficult relationship with her mother. Absolutely correct that OP shouldn't be forced to discuss personal details of familial relationships that are traumatic to her when dealing with a new baby.

HV's are there to support new mum's, if she's being unprofessional absolutely nothing wrong with advising the op ask for a different HV. Just as you get bad teachers, corrupt police officers or rude shop assistants ; it's hardly beyond the realms of possibility that a new mum may get a HV that is overbearing, condescending or innapropriate.

It's very dangerous to assume that any profession is beyond repute. If HV would never ask a new mum innapropriate questions, surely we can also say no GP would kill off elderly patients for fun, ( Harold Shipman) , no police officer would ever use his warrant card to enable him to fake an arrest to kidnap , rape and murder a stranger ? ( Wayne couzens ).
No professional is beyond repute, and I'd point out the op of the other thread was more than reasonable.

Absolutely @Winniethepoohandtiggertoo it'll be the same posters encouraging this that were the vocal supporter of Constance Marten and Mark Gordon, the usual 'ure bubz ure rulez' ideology.

I agree @MichelleScarn
I couldn't tell whether those posters were naive, stupid or some kind of authority-avoidant conspiracy theorists.

Fair comments

But still never talk to or cooperate with the police on anything. Only if you are suspected of a crime and arrested/interviewed, with a solicitor or sent. Anything you do say may be used as evidence against you!

I read part of a thread where the HV was asking awkward questions about the partner, who had a criminal record. I'm unsure if it is the same one you are referring to, as I didn't read it all. Whilst I could see it would feel intrusive, I could also see why the HV was asking questions.