to ask how on earth you learn to like your body postpartum

[postbabyblues]

just that. had 2 babies in the last 2 years and i look a state. i’ve lost the weight, that’s not the problem but my boobs are so deflated and saggy looking which i don’t know how to fix without surgery. and my cseciton scar/pouch just looks awful. i feel so miserable about it and don’t know how to learn to like myself anymore. i’m only 25 and my boobs look like i’m 100 :’)

Firstly. You don't look a state. You have grown and birthed two human beings!!

Secondly, I found it helped to have a bit of a wardrobe shake up. I felt much more uncomfortable trying to wear the styles/cuts I used to wear, even though I'd lost the weight, than when I embraced some change and went shopping.

Good underwear. You're right, there's nowt fixing boobs other than surgery, and whilst I doubt yours are as bad as they think they are. Some cracking, properly supportive underwear will work miracles!

Back to point one. Your body has done an incredible thing, twice. And I know it's easy to say, but honestly, men can't grow humans and no one gives them shit for "dad bods"

Stop looking at it. Stop looking at social media. Make sure you have plenty to do that you enjoy and get fulfilment from. In my view the issue is society's hyper focus on appearance. What you see on social media is not attainable without surgery and / or non surgical procedures. Whether you get surgery or not your looks won't last (you will age) so learn to value other aspects of yourself more highly.

Cut yourself some slack. Not only is it still very early days post partum, your body has created two miracles.

Give it time and concentrate on your health, both physical and mental.

I wasn't that bothered in the first place. My stretch marks and saggy boobs are a small price to pay for having my DC.

This.

I guess it was the feeling of utter female power I had after giving birth to both DC and managing to breastfeed DD2 to natural term. I am woman, hear me roar!

I was a decade older than you when I had children.

I had no problem with my physical changes after giving birth. I was actually a bit in awe of what my body had managed to do

I was a young mum and I was gutted about my body. It’s ok to feel sad and to not like the changes- it doesn’t mean you aren’t grateful or that you don’t think your babies were worth it. People will tell you not to be vain snd to appreciate your body. I’m going to tell you that your body has done an amazing thing but it’s valid not to like how it looks now.
2 babies in 2 years is a lot- I had 3 under 4 and my body didn’t look like mine. The saggy boobs- the fat will come back in my experience and they look better in time. Your body is probably still soft and recovering- not everything internally has shifted back properly. My advice is to get some clothes they flatter you, eat well, move your body regularly and be patient. You will look like you again.

This is great advice.

Also when you’re ready, try and get into an exercise routine. Not because of weight loss or toning or anything like that, but exercising helps you feel strong and healthy and will definitely raise your self confidence

We need to unite and fight this assumption that women are supposed to get back their pre baby bodies WHY Is that such an ingrained assumption??? I wish celebrities who promote this notion would fucking well pack it in ...and celebrity mags and daily mail type rags who are also spouting endless bollocks about women's bodies should all fuck off.

Exercise has made me love my body. Firstly it makes you feel happy anyway (endorphins). Other reasons are you see and more importantly feel changes in your fitness levels really quickly.
Remember, society doesn’t want you to love yourself. A new mum in particular will always be self-critical yet you never hear men saying “I’m a bad dad”. The fattest man will laugh at himself and say “yeah I’m a fat bastard” but you can tell he still likes himself. The slimmest woman on the other hand will find something wrong with her appearance. What if we stopped doing this? By all means improve health and fitness but you can love yourself NOW even if you don’t look the way you want to yet.

Check out: Your Body Is Not An Apology on YouTube.

I find the c section pouch the hardest because it's not like all women have it after having babies. And I feel embarrassed by it.
So basically I don't look at it and I try to wear nice clothes that make me feel good. Not currently though, as just had a baby, so feel and look like a blob.

I'm coming up to 10 months post partum now. For the first 6 months I just avoided looking at my body in the mirror too much, because who cares? And who has time to care? I was too busy getting used to this new life. I had a sport before baby and I gradually got back to that and just appreciated my body for giving me a beautiful daughter, coping without sleep, nourishing her, recovering from birth AND doing my sport. Incredible. As is yours x

I had a moment this morning (catching sight of myself in a horribly placed mirror in a public loo ) after taking DS swimming where I couldn't believe I'd been brave enough to wear a bikini.
Then I looked again at my squishy belly roll and thought "that's where DS lived, that's where he grew for 9 months" & I just felt a rush of love for that loose skin.

Definitely agree re underwear. I felt so much more myself after getting fitted for a decent nursing bra. High waisted knickers too - M&S do great ones with a wide lace panel that smooths out a mum tum well. My pre-pregnancy ones just made it look worse.