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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want another dog!!

17 replies

lucyellensmum · 11/02/2008 15:17

I love dogs, i really really do.

We have a lovely little terrier who is about a year old. He is pretty much my dog, and adores me. He is fantastic with our very OTT two year old. I honestly believe he is the most tolerant dog in the world. He is knee high to a grass hopper and is really no trouble. Even if i am crap and dont take him out every day, he just fits in with us.

We have always had rotweillers in the past, our last one was a rescue and was a bit of a challenge, but he was lovely. I absolutely put my foot down when he died that we wont be having any more rotties until DD is at least 10, she is 2.5. DP would dearly like to have another one, but he knows i will not be persuaded. I love rotties, we are not thugs that want a big tough dog, we just love the breed. I think it is very much the case of once you have owned one, you are hooked. They are amazing dogs. But they also weigh anything between 6-10 stone and they are pushy, dominant dogs that require a LOT of training. I just dont have the time.

Now DP keeps on at me to get a second dog, something like a springer (he has aspirations of having a gun dog) or a pointer. I just will not have another dog now. Ive always only had one dog, apart from when i lived with my parents when i had a labrador sized mongrel and a chihuahua (interesting). What he doesnt realise is, even though he SAYS he will look after it, he will take it out (a bigger dog is not going to be so forgiving and a play in the garden isnt going to cut it) etc etc, I will be the one with the extra work and I will be the one who will have to find the time to train the thing. I have pretty much done the bare minimum with our little terrier, but he fits in with what we want him to be (good with the lo!) and its ok. A bigger dog will require more training, produce even more poo (that i will have to pick up!) and we were extremely lucky with bob, he is mega tolerant and i'm no dog whisperer i just think we found a pup with a great temprement. I was very particular about this when we got him. I even bought a cross breed when what i wanted was a border terrier but none of the ones we could find at the time had been raised in the home, with children so i went for what i thought would fit with us the best, and i love him to peices. He is the epitome of a family dog. In fact, he is cuddled up to DD watching telly just now.

Why can't my DP see that i just dont want to rock the boat, i don't WANT another dog, i dont want the work and i dont want the worry. And it doesnt matter how many cute puppy pictures he waves under my face, you would have thought that after 15 years together he would realise, i dont do cute!!

OP posts:
Threadworm · 11/02/2008 15:20

YANBU. And you shouldn't have another dog unless you are both keen. Apart from anything else, the relationship between the two dogs might turn out to be difficult. And if you aren't able to exercise one dog every day, it will be hard to fit in the needs of two.

oliviaelanasmum · 11/02/2008 15:21

I have had exatcly the same problem with my dp as my friend had to sell her 10 week old rottie bitch and he wanted her, we already have a staffy bitch who is really well behaved and i didnt want to start all over agin with house training and as he never walks her i put my foot down. He has sulked for a few days though

Wisteria · 11/02/2008 15:21

YANBU - I have just had a new dog and it is a lot more work. With everything you've been through lately LEM it's probably best not to rock the boat. Plus the fact another dog is more expense, however easy a breed you have.

Vacua · 11/02/2008 15:22

what threadworm said

plus: why does your partner want a gundog particularly, does he shoot? or is he wanting to take part in field trials and so on?

Bangandthedirtisgone · 11/02/2008 15:28

Hiya,

YANBU. I have two springers and they are BLOODY hard work.

Most springers need a LOT of heel training and a LOT of recall training.

I would point out to your DH that it will be very difficult for you to manage your toddler, existing dog and a springer when you go out for walks.

I have been heel training my very strong rescue springer for 6 weeks now and the battle is still only half-won.

Stick to your guns!

Bangandthedirtisgone · 11/02/2008 15:29

P.S I love dogs too, but sometimes I think one would have been more than enough...

Vacua · 11/02/2008 15:31

I can second the heel training - there's a particular kind of lifestyle that makes owning a springer fun and rewarding for you and the dog, and it involves lots of off lead exercise and lots of exercise and lots of exercise.

How old is your rescue springer bangandthedirtisgone?

Bangandthedirtisgone · 11/02/2008 15:34

Hi Vacua - one of them (the pesky one I'm training at the mo) is 3, the other is coming up for two.

Very energetic dogs as you say, but such great characters. I love em I do

lucyellensmum · 11/02/2008 15:37

vacua, he would like to take up shooting. Even though he knows this is something i am not sure about. I kind of think its ok to shoot something if you are going to eat it, but there is only so much marinated pidgeon breast i can stomach!! Its just one of his mad ideas. I have to say, that even if i were to ever be persuaded (which i wont) i wouldn't have a springer for the reasons outlined by bangandthedirtisgone. They are a very high maintenance breed and their intelligence makes them a breed that requires a lot of imput, i just dont want that level of commitment to a dog at this time in my life. I have my little bob and he is my little bud, thats all i want. I've done the intensive training, ive had the worry of a challenging rescue dog (pre DD!!) and i just haven't the time, or sorry to say, the inclination to go down that road again. I intend on going back to work when DD goes to school, so i will be relying on my 72yo mother to walk my dog. It is hardly rocket science that another dog is NOT what we need right now.

I do sympathise with DP, he has only ever had rotties (our two) and he is a big dog person. I love big dogs and actually wanted an Irish wolfhound (it dont come any bigger than that!) before DD came along but now, im happy with my little ankle snapper. He is just as much fun, i can just enjoy him. I think thats the crux of it, he favours me and DP hasn't bonded with him the way he did the other dog. The first rottie was My dog, although he loved DP. The second was DPs, even though, yep, you guessed it, i was the one doing the training and getting the biting (he was VERY challenging!).

OP posts:
Vacua · 11/02/2008 15:38

they are my BEST ones - see profile

found recall training not difficult with mine, but heel only happens off the lead

cannot imagine pushing buggy and having a springer on a lead, or a weimi or a pointer - the latter two can be so complex, have met some really disturbed pointers (wire and short haired) who really needed proper hunt/point/retrieve training and activities to stop them being destructive/escaping etc

Vacua · 11/02/2008 15:40

anyway so no, don't think you're being unreasonable, think he is

let him make some shooting friends and go out with them and their dogs if he is so keen!

lucyellensmum · 11/02/2008 15:44

my friend has a weimeraner - he is MAD!!!!

I like pointers, one of my favourites and we did look into this breed before we got little bob. But the loose screws put me off .

I'll buy him a cuddly toy dog for valentines day, he can settle with that. He has now taken to asking for a cockatoo - ive told him he can have one providing he shuts up about the dog - hmmm, i think im being played!!

OP posts:
Bangandthedirtisgone · 11/02/2008 15:45

[vacua]

Stick to your guns totally LEM. I know exactly what you're saying. It was our joint decision to get our two but it is only muggins here who trains and walks them.

Sounds like you have a wonderful little chap already

Bangandthedirtisgone · 11/02/2008 15:45

doh! first bit was supposed to say

vacua

lucyellensmum · 11/02/2008 15:46

your dogs are proper gorgeous by the way! I wont be showing DP those pictures - he he

OP posts:
lucyellensmum · 11/02/2008 15:51

when I see the dogs like that, it does make me a little broody - lmao - not supposed to happen!! But that is exactly what those dogs need, space and mud!!! We used to walk the legs off of our rotties and they would come running with us in the woods. It was fantastic to let them run off, they would disappear after some sound in the trees and resurface ten minutes later like great big lolloping lummoxes - I DO miss that, but we dont get to do that so much now due to DD, not the dog, bob would do the same, although im less sure he would actually come back. VERY bad recall, no, i'll rephrase that non-existent recall .

OP posts:
Vacua · 11/02/2008 18:13

awww @ broody over puppies, I know what you mean

maybe when your daughter is older it will be easier and you'll feel more interested in taking on another dog - bit stuck for words as to the cockatoo situation though! good luck

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