Should I end this friendship?

[Sleepdeprived42long]

Can’t decide if I’m being sensitive about this or not! My friend and I were best friends all through school. I always felt slightly ‘used’ by her-like she had settled for a friendship with me and she was just waiting for someone better to come along.

Fast forward and we are now well into our 30s and both have kids and live near each other. I don’t hear from her regularly but every 3/4 months we will message to say happy birthday or Xmas and then will say (sometimes her, sometimes me) that it would be nice to meet and then it’s just radio silence on her end when we try to make arrangements. It seems to me she now only makes arrangements to meet up when she’s needing someone to share problems with. I don’t mind this at all but it feels very one way.

I suppose I’m just feeling sad and upset that the friendship isn’t what I thought it was. I think every time she doesn’t reply to me for months I grieve the end of the friendship and relationship with her children a bit! I’m not sure what to do-accept it is what it is and continue to persevere or back off and not engage any more?

Hi,
Don't hand the reins to her giving her any charge over how you feel.
This is a negativity which is probably knocking your confidence and it should stop.
She is not really keen on a friendship with you but do not take it personally,she's on her life path,you are on yours,if they don't meet,that's just the way of it.
Put her out of your mind.if you want to send birthday and Christmas cards,do so with no expectations of a revived friendship,take back control and enjoy your life.
don't look backwards at what was,look forward to a bright future.💐

I backed off completely with a similar friend. We lost touch and didn't speak for years. Then one day got back in touch and the friendship rekindled. Now we speak a lot on messenger but only see each other very occasionally as we live far apart. I actually prefer it in some ways as there is less drama 😂

It is so hard not to look back isn’t it? She was such a big part of my life and my parents have since passed away and so it feels like she is one of the few people I know who remember them well. I think I’m just holding on to what was, rather than what is :(

She's dead wood. I would stop contacting her.

Don't put yourself out for her

yeah I think I’ve been clinging onto this friendship for too long hoping things might change :(

She's not a true friend. Back off from her.

Someone posted this today which I agree with

I remember in my late 20s, getting to a place where I had little in common with childhood friends and letting them dwindle - not in a hurtful way, but recognising we had no common interests.
Occasionally it's been more hurtful on one side than the other, but I think its a natural process.

There is no friendship here to save. Please stop beating yourself up and let it go.

I don’t know, maybe just recalibrate so you’re in touch now and then and see how it goes.