To ask for your embarrassing work stories

[cringingatmyself]

I'm currently a deep shade of beetroot as I've noticed a major typo in an announcement email I've sent at work to a few hundred different people. I've somehow put someone's surname as a completely different name. Think 'Simon Smart' but I've written 'Simon Simpson' . No idea where that even came from!

I know it's absolutely not the end of the world and no has died but I just had that moment where you spot it and your stomach drops and you start to feel hot and panicky 😂😰

Can you please share your embarrassing work moments to help me stop hyperventilating - and more so to give us all a laugh/moment of solidarity, as I love these threads and they make me feel more human!

I used to be the only woman in a small office of men, and was a lot younger than them. They always used to mansplain and patronise me, usually trying to wind me up. I used to back down to keep the peace but one day I was having a conversation about something I knew I was right about and they were putting me down as usual. I stood up to make my point and pushed my shoulders back as I stood - only for the buttons on my blouse to pop open down to the waist. Like @MavisMcMinty I also had nice boobs back then but I was mortified and they all pissed themselves laughing.

The other day standing in a packed staffroom. Dying for a coffee. The lid on my coffee cup was stuck. As I struggled to unscrew it a very loud v long fart escaped me. Mortified!

Is the magnificent Angela Hernandez story still hidden away/retold anywhere on Mumsnet?

Honestly I thank you ladies. I could not have handled this. You paved the way for them to avert their eyes when I do that.

Huge open plan office, I walked to the printer area, went over on my ankle
(Stupid wedge shoes), staggered forward (think head overtaking body moment) and head butted the filing cabinet - queue massive bang and them complete silence as everyone just sat and stared

I did the exact same thing when I worked in a call centre for a break down company. Only mine was W for wanky. God I hated that job.

Fell asleep in front of my new manager at a new job while she was telling me about my role.

In my defence I had just broken up with my long term boyfriend and was getting about 4 hours sleep a night

I was sick all over a door trying to get out of a meeting. Not my finest hour.

This is my worst fear 😆

Stapled my own finger during a very boring induction meeting which was so boring I was fiddling with the stapler! Had to then try to extract staple casually whilst in immense pain

Just this week - shouted at the dog in a divisional meeting thinking I was on mute - only realised when I heard those infamous words "Sorry, was sometime trying to come in there?" This is not the first time I've done this!

At an office Christmas lunch at a quite fancy restaurant. A loaf of freshly baked bread and a rather sharp knife was brought to the table for us to cut our own slices. I cut myself, got blood all over the knife and the bread and it had to be replaced.

My boss has signed off a few emails with ‘kind retards’ instead of ‘kind regards’. He also wrote ‘just a crusty email’ the other day instead of ‘courtesy’. Another in my office cannot seem to spell Hugh and calls him ‘Huge’ in every correspondence. I look forward to emails from these 2

I emailed a congregant telling them the Rabbit wanted to arrange a meeting with them, of course the ‘Rabbit’ was cc’d in 😆
A few years ago in a different job I must’ve been wearing trousers w shallow pockets when my tampon fell out onto the office floor. Thankfully a female colleague alerted me to it before total mortification set in!! Not that we should be ashamed but it’s still cringe.

Two of the funniest from when I worked in the NHS:
Had a patient with very large breasts lying topless on the couch waiting for me to start her treatment. As I walked over to her, I tripped and landed with my face sunk into one of her breasts.
With another patient I was explaining the procedure to him and he was worried about the injection part. I said 'its just a little prick with a needle'. I didn't realise what I'd said until he asked 'which little prick?'

Haha I have done this exact same thing. Was reading my postcode phonetically for a delivery and said Y for Wanky.

Thankfully the guy on the phone found it as funny as me.

I worked in a car garage and sometimes had to cover reception when the receptionist went on lunch. I hated it. Hated talking on the phone. When transferring a very important manager through to my manager I accidentally put him on the tannoy and he was on it for ages. I crawled under the desk when he started swearing and huffing Under breath with the waiting he was doing. The mechanics thought this was hilarious but I was so embarrassed and scared I’d get in trouble. It was loud over the whole inside and out In the forecourt with the customers listening too lol

Oh my god I'm dying 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Tripped down the steps in front of 4 clients then when one tried to help me up I let out the biggest fart of my life. I was so mortified I couldn't laugh it off so we all ended up pretending it hadn't happened. I dreaded every time I saw them after that.

Ended a phone call to the most senior manager (three levels above me, had only spoken to him twice before) with "ok, will do. love you, bye" whilst sat at my desk in a large open plan office. The room went into stunned silence, then when my face suggested I'd realised what happened, everyone burst into laughter. I literally crawled under my desk and stayed there while everyone repeated it to the managers who had wandered out of their offices to find out what was going on.

Both happened over a decade ago and I'm still not over it.

Just thought of something that happened this week.

Our manager has left and they're struggling to replace him. I was on annual leave when he left and didnt know if we would have a replacement when i returned.

First day back, I am told we are having managers from other branches in every day to cover until we get a replacement.

I knew there was a chance a manger I used to work with at a different branch would be coming in. I absolutely detest this manager, she caused me to nearly have a mental breakdown. She hates me as much as I hate her.

I'm sitting in the staff room and my team leader comes in. The door wasn't quite shut I said "I hope that Michelle isn't going coming in " (michlle being the manager I hate, not her real name). Door opens fully and in walks Michelle. "Yes, I am here' what made it worse is the first half of her surname rhymes with a swear word and so I'd said the swear wood instead of her real surname (on purpose). So think Michelle Mucker and I called her Michelle Fucker.

Maybe it is a shithole and he welcomed your candor?

Oh no!!

I ran one site of operations and the boss from the other site came to my office to talk to me, saw I was on the phone and so he went to walk back out and as he did I blew him a kiss and said love you bye!!! I was on the phone to DH! I promptly put the phone down on DH and ran after the other boss to explain the kiss and love you absolutely wasn’t meant for him (he was totally the kind of perv who would take it the wrong way and brag to all and sundry about it) I then had to call back a very confused DH and explain why I randomly shouted shit and slammed the phone down on him mid conversation.

Another job, I was at a clients soft opening after refurbishment, it was a champagne and dressy type affair so I was in a long slinky number and heels. Client wanted to take us on a tour of some of the newly refurbished suites. As we walked into the first suite which had an exceptional view with a huge corner glass window which the client was showing off, he beckoned me me to come for a closer look and as I went to do so I completely neglected to notice the step down towards the window and promptly stumbled and chucked my champagne all over him and fell flat on the floor, I was utterly mortified!!! Luckily he found it very funny and teased me about it many a time after.

Two spring to mind

Wrote an email to my fairly new boss, Angus, "Dear Anus"

Sent an email to all that ended "apologies for any incontinence this may cause"

I once transferred a call from a regional manager to my manager ( same level as regional manager ) , call didnt connect so my manager heard me say to my colleague " I'm surprised " regional manager" has dragged himself away from a mirror long enough to do any work, the vain git " . I then realized what had happened, connected the call immediately and started penning an apology email to my manager expecting to be bollocked. My manager wonders in 5 mins later , still laughing to himself, and tells me not to worry about it , I just said what everyone else was thinking 😂

Was delivering a technical presentation to a bunch of engineers and thought "this is going well ,they all look really interested "
Finished ,they left the room and I reached up to switch the screen off ,only to find that my work shirt had unbuttoned to reveal my pink lacy bra -didn't know whether to laugh or cry !!