To ask what was the first sign you had that you were entering menopause?

[OldFan]

Just wondered really as I think I might be getting it IDK.

Irregular and heavy periods, insomnia, low libido and hot flushes. Deep joy. Fortunately those days are behind me

Irregular periods, very heavy, think a weeks worth in 2 days, weight gain and unable to shift it

I now get maybe one period every 6 months but it's agony, I've been up since 3.30 with severe stomach and back ache - urghhhh

Flashes of rage from nowhere, and the desire to stab people which I hear can get you into trouble.

Oh and sobbing fits.

Periods began arriving late or early then began to miss them but sometimes got all the pre menstrual symptoms but no bleeding. Eventually went three to six months in between them and then they stopped. Only other symptom was the occasional flush. Things started changing aged about 42 and last was at 47 apart from one random one at 49 which I had to get checked out.

I am on the mini pill and when I look at the list of symptoms I don't have any.
I wonder how long they will keep prescribing the pill for as I am 52 but I have read I can have it to 55.

Is mini pill progesterone only? I have a mirena coil ( also progesterone) and the doctor did say it helps with menopause. That said I am getting the itchiness and Brian dog so thinking of going to get some oestrogen gel or patches

No warnings. At 45 my periods just stopped. That was 6 years ago. I get hot flushes and night sweats.

All typical symptoms for me started post menopause.

@illiterato I am on Cerazette and yes it's progesterone only.
I will ask about it in 3 months when I need my next prescription.

Reading this is making me think perhaps this is what is happening to me. Warning: this is going to be long.
I’m 40 (got a 3yr old who only finished BF 6 months ago so put a lot of what I’m feeling down to that) DH and I have also both lost a parent in the last two years (plus Covid and all that shit) I have been wondering if I have long covid, or if it’s just grief. I haven’t had chance to grieve yet - life is too hectic. I’m the main earner and have a stressful job.
Anyway I am bone tired - 3yr old still wakes multiple times, can’t concentrate, can’t plan or organise (which is a major problem at work) feel anxious, especially about the kids. I have that feeling of impending doom lots of people are describing. None of these things made me think ‘peri’ BUT I have heart palpitations, sweaty at night, itching - random skin rashes which come and go - but intense vaginal itching. Thought it was linked to ovulation, so went on the mini pill but it’s not made a huge difference. When I did have periods, the first two days were awful, followed by pretty much nothing.
My mum was late 50s when she started menopause symptoms, so hadn’t really thought about it. What do I do now??

I was breastfeeding when I started hrt at 44. Stopping made me feel worse because bf has an anti inflammatory effect. And I had to go on more. (I believe bf actually keeps a hormone high that helps fertility, amh? Can't remember!)

I had to do repeat Gp visits and finally got hrt at 44. But I probably did need it at 40 - pregnancy cured a lot of my issues at 41 (all the extra hormones) but I went headlong into it again a year later.

There's a type of pill that uses bio identical hrt (begins with a q I think) that you could request.

I do feel a trial of hrt could prove if you need it. I don't understand why they'd happily prescribe pill and not hrt. You don't get the contraception but if you're aware that's manageable.

You need to rule out thyroid issues or other things with Gp though too

@Knackeredbutnot that sounds like my list of symptom, including the itchiness. Properly calibrated HRT fixed most of them.
I was in peri at 40, possibly younger, but my mum breezed through in her early 50s. We're individuals so you can't compare yourself to your mum.

I was so angry at everybody and everything, for no reason at all. Been on HRT for 6 weeks and the difference already is huge.

Its a good question. Truly, your life sounds like it is exhausting, and I think you, like many women are living in a way that is taxing you beyond what is reasonable and sustainable. Peri menopause adds an extra layer of hard to that, but its concerning that increasingly we're starting to blame our bodies for our struggles to cope with more than we should ever be expected to cope with. It's very difficult to separate biological causes from lifestyle ones, and there's a definite push for women to stick a patch on so we can continue to load more and more on ourselves.
I know when covid forced me to slow my pace, wfh, stop rushing from activity to activity, and also gave time to overhaul my diet and excercise, my symptoms all but vanished.
You do clearly have physical symptoms, which could be menopause related, but equally some could be lifestyle/stress related. HRT may be helpful for you, but if there's a way of prioritising your own care, that could make a huge difference too. I know it's easier said than done.

For me, the very first symptoms were stiff achy hands and fingers, and periods becoming really irregular, cycle all over the place: 24 days…18 days…63 days…30 days… completely impossible to predict.

Then PMT became a lot more severe. Hair and skin got drier. Eyelids really dry. Suddenly looked a lot older. Then gastro/digestive weirdness: heartburn, constipation, increased hunger.

Then brain fog, exhaustion and the terrible doom and anxiety that so many posters have mentioned. I have a history of bouts of mental illness but this was on another level. Waking up every morning in extreme panic, convinced that the world was about to end. Terrible guilt that I had brought children into the world.

HRT is helping a lot but I’m not quite where I want to be yet so will be asking for a review of my medicines soon.

I have had the odd hot flush but not many at all yet. Wondering whether any posters have experienced the opposite, ie feeling colder than usual? I’m someone whose internal thermostat usually runs very warm. In a situation where other people feel cold, I usually feel fine or warm! Lately I’ve been surprised to be feeling cold a lot of the time. I know it’s winter and it’s been cold, but in previous years it wouldn’t have bothered me much. This winter has felt really harsh and I’ve often found it really difficult to warm up. Also started getting Reynaud’s in my hands and wonder if this is related.

Basically anything weird or unpleasant I experience now I tend to just automatically assume it’s perimeno!

@5128gap Your message has made me cry. Thank you for taking the time to reply kindly to an exhausted stranger. Ironically I am in charge of well-being where I work, but it’s so so hard to apply that to myself when I have so many external pressures that I can’t reduce or relieve.
I think I will go back to the GP. This thread has given me a push to see that I can’t carry on like this.

"Brian dog" is one of my favourite autocorrects I've ever seen on here and I'm going to start using it immediately! "Oh you can blame that on Brian..."

I found that my symptoms in the early days were definitely cyclical, far far worse the week before my period, so my doctor gave me low dose estrogen patches to use for the two weeks after I ovulated, they were fantastic, it just upped my estrogen levels enough to level things out.

I never noticed it other than periods stopping abruptly. The menopause seems to have become the favourite topic, even advertising for shampoo uses it, it's not as though it's a new thing!

Of course it’s not. But previously it was treated as a joke and something that women just needed to suffer in silence. Some women go through absolute life-changing hell with it and of course it needs to be openly discussed.

Our lives have changed massively though. My child has just turned 16, I'm the sole breadwinner, my rent is exorbitant and my retirement age 67. When my mother was my age her children had left home, their mortgage was paid off and she'd never been the breadwinner or done a really stressful and mentally demanding job in her life and women's retirement age was 60.

That factors in. Most of my crazy symptoms would be much easier to deal with if I didn't have to worry about keeping a roof over my child's head for years and therefore keep up a job that has actually become hell with the symptoms I've had, never getting more than a few hours sleep for one thing.

So women are talking about it more and women our age are coping with more for longer.

Totally agree, @swallowedAfly . I am almost 51 and my youngest is 14. My parents are both still alive and approaching 80. It's only been in the last 100 years that life expectancy has started to rise because of better healthcare and drugs like antibiotics.

www.statista.com/statistics/1040159/life-expectancy-united-kingdom-all-time/

100 years ago, a 50 year old woman was elderly. Her children would be in their 30s or late 20s. She would more than likely be a grandmother herself. Her parents were probably dead. Totally different.

Personally, I think talking about it is so important. Had it not ben for threads on here and people like Davina talking about her symptoms, I wouldn't have been able to join the dots that my repeated UTIs and "depression" was actually down to a lack of oestrogen. Because my GP sure as hell couldn't make the link.

Periods starting getting further apart - I got through a few pregnancy tests!
Hot flushes, although they weren't too bad for me.

Placemarking for later

IkBenDeMol exactly. Most of my time between 3am and daylight is spent clawing around in my brain to try and think of a way to make life easier or more manageable for me but also fulfil my responsibilities to ds.

I would love to hand in my notice, buy a plane ticket and be gone.

This