To ask your childcare set up?

[ign0re]

I’m going to have two under two (not planned but we’ll make it work) and so it got me looking into the childcare options and costs when I return to work, and have settled on a nanny share, which I’m actually really happy with. I feel like this is the easy bit, there’s still all the years of wraparound after school and school holidays to consider and I feel like sometimes I overcomplicate things like this so want to ask what everyone else does.

Do you work from home? Work for yourself (if so what do you do, love the idea of working for myself but no idea what I’d do ha)? Share the holidays with your other half? Decided sahp works best?

Hopefully this is a helpful thread and can give some people help or ideas if they are struggling!

In the preschool years I was a SAHM to both kids. We had no family living nearby so this was only workable option for us because we didnt want to consider "paid for" childcare.

During their preschool years, I also did a stint working evenings 6pm-11pm one day a week and also did weekend days when we wanted to move house, to bring in additional income. DH would come in the door just as I would leave for work and he would have the kids all weekend while I worked.

Once both DCs were at school, I got a PT job, 18 hrs a week, which I did during school hours. I dropped off and picked up every day.

Youngest DC starts high school in Sept and as yet I have no plans to work FT. I will be 44 when youngest is 18 so I will go FT at that point, if not before.

Just to add, school holidays we take annual leave between us to cover. Also, the in laws will have them if we are stuck (they now live locally) although they are not particularly keen on helping.

I have previously used football and dance holiday camps to cover those days I'm working, when annual leave wont cover it and in laws can't help.

Ah yes was going to ask about holidays. Thank you for your answers! Do you get time off all together?
sounds like you’ve made it work!

We generally have 2 weeks off altogether in the summer, but the trade off is then we have to use a holiday camp/the in laws on the days I'm working during the Easter hols for instance.

DH works from home since covid so he is always here during the day, before and after school, so we are together as a daily morning and evening. He is able to collect DS from school on the days i work (I drop DS off and DH collects)

Once they’re at school we used after school club on the days I worked and I managed to do school drop off. I take what I can off for the holidays and so does DH but we also make sure some of that is time off together then make use of family support and pay for holiday club in between

I'm a single parent so I've paid for all the childcare, all of the time. It is what it is and its been very expensive but ultimately worth it because it's allowed me to keep and advance in my job which is worth its weight in gold.

Now my DD is at secondary I only use it ad hoc (for example if I'm doing an early or late shift) so saving a lot of money these days.

Childcare can seem dauntingly expensive when they are young but saving on it by reducing hours is in the long term usually a false economy. What's your partner's work situation like?

I stayed at home as DH worked long hours and there was no nursery or childminder. I did tutoring in the evening for a while.

Went back part time when they were 5 and 7 and then full time a couple of years later. Teaching though, so had the holidays. Would swap play dates with other mums so I could go into school during the holidays. We rarely had a family holiday.

Kids are 4 and 2, we both work FT in flexible jobs.

2yo in FT nursery.

4yo has breakfast club at school from 8am on the days we both need to go to the office, and then out of school club with the same company as nursery. They collect her from school and then bring her to youngest's nursery at 5:30 so we only have one pickup. They also run holiday clubs so she goes there any days we don't take off.

WFH helps in terms of making drop off and pick up less rushed, and getting laundry done but no actual reduction in childcare, they're far too young for that.

I naively thought that planning DC2 around when DC1 would receive 30 hours free nursery funding would mean we could afford to send both to nursery. In fact, even with 30 hours free, DC1's fees are £700 per month full time, or £500 for 4 days. This plus DC2's full fees would be almost my entire wage. Luckily there's a preschool which offers fewer hours at a fraction of the price. My mum is about to retire, DP is a teacher and I wfh, so between the three of us we can make the reduced hours work for DC1, and DC2 will be at nursery full time.

Dc1 is a September baby so will turn 5 within a week of starting primary school. We were even researching trying to get her into the previous year's cohort just to be able to afford to live.

Our youngest goes to a childminder and surprisingly there are barely any children there over the holidays (all the children apart from DD2 seem to go term time only). So currently DD1 goes there as well during holidays. But her school runs a holiday club throughout most of the holidays that we might use when both girls are at school.
We are lucky that we don't have to go into the office during any of the holidays apart from half terms, and our work is almost entirely flexible in that we can complete it any time. So in a couple of years I expect us not to need much holiday care at all (apart from half-terms)

DC went to nursery pt at four and five months respectively and I went back to work despite the equivalent of my salary being taken out the joint pot by childcare for well over two years.
I then very luckily worked mornings only Mon- Fri when both at primary school, and later a change in job meant use of a childminder and after school club for 3 evenings a week until year 6.
DH and I had a little ad hoc help from PIL and DM during school holidays, but we often took opposite leave to cover the whole year. Also used holiday clubs. Always managed a family summer holiday.
Childcare has cost us many many thousands over the years but has been worth every penny and resulted in confident, non clingy DC.
And twenty years on my pension looks great. Always think long term.

While DC were preschool, we nanny shared and it worked out wonderfully. I worked 4 days. Our long-term nanny no longer works for us, but is still a beloved family friend and regular babysitter.

Now DC are both school age and we both work FT hybrid with some flexibility. We have an after-school nanny which we supplement with holiday club and a little help from grandparents.

We have 4mo, 2yo, 3yo and 5yo DDs

2+3 are in nursery, 5yo in school. 4mo at home with me, she'll be going to nursery 3-4 days a week when she's 6mo so I can have some me time and possible work 2 days a week. I don't need to work thankfully, but it's valuable for the DC to go to nursery and for me to have a few hours to clean the house!

We're also looking into hiring a nanny as it'll be cheaper than 3 nursery fees. Not sure yet, as DDs get on really well in their nurseries.

@cptartapp
Well this is it! Long term, I want to have a pension (hear my parents banging on about it has it drilled into me) and I currently have quite a good job and well respected in my industry which would honestly be wiped away quite quickly if I took serious time out.

@Thepeopleversuswork It sounds like you’ve done brilliantly. My partner up until recently worked for his family business in a slightly niche role, they have sold the business and so he is set to embark on a new career. I think initially he’ll earn less than me but I imagine long term he’ll be the higher earner of us both.

@ign0re

hmmm, tricky because I guess your partner has to put the hours in a bit to prove himself. Which is fair enough.

Make sure that doesn't become an excuse to make you the default childcare provider though. It's a very slippery slope.

We use afterschool club 4 days a week. In the school holidays it's a mix of annual leave, holiday clubs and grandma.

I felt it was also important to maintain the power balance in our relationship. Even more so if you're not married. Not to mention my mental health.
I can hopefully retire in 4 years at 55 and reap what I've sown.

With DC1 we worked between ourselves with holidays etc and with him in pr school nursery that we paid extra hours for till about 5pm plus me starting later to drop him off. I worked part time (4 days a week). When DC2 came along he went to a childminder and I worked 2.5 days a week. School holidays were a logistical nightmare as DC1 started school when dc2 was a baby. They cost more than I earned in childcare and we didn’t have enough holidays to cover them. I then changed to weekend working so dh had them. Not all weekend but one day every weekend. DC3 came along and I am so glad I did this. They are now ages 11,6 and nearly 4 and I still work some weekends as between school holidays, In service days, staff strikes, sickness and after school club childcare costs it’s not viable for me to go back in the week. I have loads of time off with the kids though and that alone saves us money as I am home to organise, clean, do picks ups, drop off etc.

We have no family help though at all ( MIL lives round the corner but who has not interest in helping anyone but her favourites) and dc1 has additional support needs. I have always worked though and will never not as it keeps my skills current