So I split up with my ex almost 7 years ago, he has always had a full time job from when I became pregnant earning a decent wage with scope for climbing up in his role which he has.
Since we split I never asked for any child support as I was never sure what he should pay I should also add it was an emotionally manipulative and physically abusive relationship.
I was recently discussing with friends that we don’t have an agreement and never have, he has convinced me he doesn’t need to pay anything as he picks her up from school one day a week and drops her to school the following morning then picks her up on a weekend too so about 3 nights a week, if he drops I’ll pick up or vice versa. His argument is he travels further my small commutes to pick her up daily from school ‘don’t count’.
Anyway, he pays for her swimming lessons (I do take her to this every week ) I pay for school meals, school clubs , uniform, clothes, and then obviously everyday costs when she is with me.
for years I have just asked him for money if I pay for something for example a trip I’ll say it costs x and he will send an amount but many times I have said she needs new clothes to his reply of just buy and let me know what I owe then he forgets unless I ask him 3 or 4 times which I am uncomfortable with due to our past or for example for her school uniform cost he said he has bought a football kit and boots so would not. So I just stopped asking in all honesty it was far too much trouble so asking for any contributions are a rarity like I said trips or birthday parties if they are big (which I plan/sort/execute)
what I want to know is am I unreasonable for expecting a regular payment? Or should I just be happy with the fact he is a present dad which is his stance I’m not sure? Would love opinions thanks but please be kind!