Neighbour refusing to come downstairs to listen to stomping…?!

[jkellerhughes]

Hi all,

I am sure the topic of noisy neighbours has been beaten to death on here, but this is slightly odd in that it’s not an all-out war. Certainly not yet anyway. I’ve politely informed my neighbours of the noise their kid makes throughout the day. Running/kicking footballs/jumping/screaming. (No, the kid doesn’t have medial issues etc…) They were mostly reasonable in their response (although offered no apology and seemed quick to want to dismiss me). However; on the whole it’s been polite words - which is obviously the preferred option over any nastiness. When I initially brought it up; I made extra sure (having read forums prior) that they were only too welcome to come to my flat and listen to the running/stomping. No response to that offer. When I listed timestamps (as per their request) they didn’t confirm or deny that it was their child. (They initially tried to blame another neighbour). The running is still largely constant and all they’ve said is that they will try and see what they can do. Since then, nothing has changed. The boy still runs up and down at 6:30am as well as kicks the football every morning - and sleeps at 9pm, but somehow still runs at gone midnight too…? I’ve forwarded these timestamps to them, but they’ve again - said nothing regarding the timestamps they themselves asked for. I’ve now sent them a third message RE: the noise (still no apology) and once again invited them downstairs to listen for themselves.

Is there any reason why they don’t seem to want to take me up on this offer?! I’d be mortified if the tables were turned - and I’d want to gauge just how loud the noise is for a neighbour if someone had complained to me three times.

Or do they simply not care?!

Sorry for hurried post. It was typed on my phone and may contain typos!

I’d be stopping mine kicking a ball in the house and I’d likely put carpet down if in a flat. Beyond that I’d just be relatively polite but ignore a complaining neighbour because children are quite noisy. Have you looked at whether some soundproofing insulation on ceilings might help?

They probably don’t care. It’s hard living with upstairs neighbors but they have a right to move around their flat too.

‘Ignoring a complaining neighbour because kids are noisy’ is a dreadful attitude in general, but at least - as you said - you’d take steps prior. It’s all hardwood floors in the building and from the sounds of it; they’ve not put any mats down. In fact; nothing has changed.

As for the other post; of course they are allowed to move in their flat - who isn’t?! But why not take someone up on their offer of listening to the noise which would give them a better understanding of the situation…? Therefore allowing EVERYONE to hopefully live peacefully. You’re right. They just don’t care it seems. Sigh!

I know where you are coming from, but this is normal kid noise. The problem is with the housing rather than the neighbour. The only thing you can do is talk to the owner about insulation and sound proofing.

I'm an upstairs neighbour though I don't have a small child, but even if they do come and listen to the noise, they might not be able to do much about it if it's normal noises of someone moving around in their flat and a child moving around - the football thing is unreasonable.
I can hear my downstairs neighbours, their dog barking, them talking arguing, the TV and doors opening and closing, so I know they can hear me as I'm above so walking around above them, I drop stuff sometimes or knock stuff over and it's clear if I can hear them, they can hear me, I try to be considerate and don't hoover/have the washer on late unless absolutely necessary and wear slippers or bare feet instead of hard soles at night etc, but ultimately if you live in close proximity to someone you're going to hear them.

Interestingly though, the noise from the flat/shop next door carries and it was the neighbours downstairs who told me that, they'd always assumed that any noise was from above but in the period my flat was empty, they realised noise carries from the shop and flat too, so it may be that they're not entirely responsible and there is noise from other neighbours as well that you're attributing to them.

Children run and play, it's what they do. You live in a downstairs flat you expect upstairs noise, we did when we lived downstairs. Nothing you've written sounds unreasonable.

Thueve not taken you up on your 'offer' because why would they? What do you want them to do? Make the child sit all day?

Do you have children?

But why not take someone up on their offer of listening to the noise which would give them a better understanding of the situation…?

Because they don't intend to do anything about it?

It's only useful to hear the noise if you can then use the experience to change something, or try and find something to change, to reduce the noise.

If they don't think there's anything they could change, or they aren't going to try anyway, it's pointless them coming downstairs to listen.

If from their perspective what their child is doing is reasonable, then there's no reason for them to come downstairs and listen to the noise.
I had a neighbour demand I do the same about walking upstairs (the stairs to our flat went over her living room) However I knew we were walking normally so I didn't go to listen to it. I wasn't going to stop walking up the stairs or try and tiptoe to my flat every time.

I appreciate that a child running around at midnight isn't good, but I suspect the parent isn't encouraging that behaviour and that when it happens they probably want it to stop just as much as you do

I live in a downstairs flat - yesterday the kids were roller-skating across my bedroom ceiling - I am fine with that

I did once ask them not to pogo stick, more because I was afraid of damage- but the noise was pretty bad.

I think you just adjust, if you are living in a block with families, children are noisy. YOu cant expect them to spend their childhood creeping around. Running in your own home seems fine to me, if you can't run there, where can you run?

Yeah, sounds like they don't give a shit. I feel bad for you because there's nothing worse than noisy neeighbours but it's one of those unwinnable situations - for you they're loud but they'd just say it's a child being a normal child.

This.

Why would they come and listen from your flat? If they think their child is not making unreasonable noise, what do you expect them to do? Yes, they could put rugs down and the child shouldn’t be playing ball games inside -I agree with both of those.

What do you think them coming downstairs will achieve?

Check your lease - I lived in an upstairs flat and it stipulated I had to have carpets everywhere except kitchen and bathroom.

You say it is all hardwood floors. Is this allowed? Most flats have conditions in the lease that stipulate that the flat mist be carpeted, with a good thickness of underlay.

Snap you got there first!

Carpets would solve a lot of this. Our ndn had laminate floors and what a noise, you could hear everything. Much less noise if carpeted.

If someone complained to me three times (and again… as I said before - all polite conversations both ways) I’d WANT to listen to gauge just how loud I was/how much the stomping/running really was distributing someone - so I could think ‘Wow, that is loud. Ok. Maybe we should get
some rugs for above Room A, but above Room B seems ok’. Or I could gauge
if the neighbours really are being overly sensitive.

Personally; I’d want to remedy a situation such loud noise. But maybe that’s just me.

When you live in flats you do have prepare that there will be noise if people are above you. I have lived in flats so am aware it can be annoying but it is part of living in them.

How old is the child? You can tell a child a hundred times a day not to run but they forget, their kids.

Its not their fault the flats all have hard floors- they may not have spare money to buy rugs at the minute.

Even if they did come down to listen like you want them to I doubt very much anything will change.

Also confused over the child goes to bed at 9pm then running around at midnight line?

To be honest sounds like normal family noise on hard floors, if they were playing loud music all day and night I could understand but this seems normal noise to me.

I know where you are coming from, but this is normal kid noise

Running, screaming and kicking balls is not normal indoor kid noise. I have kids. And live in a flat. My kids absoloutley do not run, scream, or kick balls around inside the house.

Sadly other people are not you and dont care.Also parents seem.to think that the lives of single people dont matter and that their kids have the right to ruin your peace.Having said that kids are noisy and there has to be give and take
But with some its all take.Can you move??

The screaming I can almost let slide believe it or not. It’s the running up and down and the football. Why? Because it literally shakes the ceilings and walls and so it’s a lot harder to drown out. I timed it this AM. It was exactly 33 minutes starting from first thing. My whole body just tensed up from it and the stress of it.

I can understand stress if you think it is going to do harm to your property, but it seems like it is only noise?

I understand the stress, OP, living on edge all the time not knowing when you’re going to be disturbed again, or for how long. Buildings like that should not be converted in to flats if they’re unsoundproofed. I didn’t even last a year in the flat I used to live in, the upstairs people didn’t give a fuck about their noise.