To cancel a hospital appointment when I've got plans

[Greenvelvetdress]

I've been referred to a recurrent miscarriage clinic and to be fair to the hospital the appointment has come through really quickly and is in May.

Unfortunately it's a day I've already booked train tickets to London (£100) with my best friend to cheer me up after everything that has gone on.

I rang the appointments line today, having received the letter yesterday to cancel and the receptionist asked me to give the reason I couldn't attend and I felt like a naughty school child... She then said she'd add me back to the waiting list and I'd get a letter when another appointment was available.

Am I being unreasonable cancelling an appointment two months away for something I had planned?

You had plans already which were important to you personally and not easy to rearrange, it’s normal. In your shoes my answer would be: I can’t make the appointment on that particular day. That’s it.
You’ve probably been asked to check if it’s about particular day of the week or you didn’t want an appointment any more, something like this.
I’ve had DD’s appointments in the past which were important but we couldn’t make it and our reasons might be trivial for some but they were important for DD.

Thanks everyone, you've all made me feel better. Like someone said my MH is important too and I know this trip will help with that. Hopefully I'll get another appointment through soon and can stop worrying.

I wouldn’t have missed it for the reasons you’ve stated but it’s your choice and so long as you appreciate it could be longer for an appointment then fair enough.

I think Inwould have just said I was away. But bear in mind that there is a limit on how many times you can rearrange. Unlike them.

Obviously YANBU to cancel your appointment but I’m not sure why you’re acting like the receptionist is in the wrong. You’re the one with plans, she’s not psychic and it’s not her fault. DS had an audiology appointment recently and we had to reschedule it because DH uses the car to commute and is a teacher so we needed an appointment in school holidays. They booked us for Easter but then phoned DH to ask if he was striking and could take DS then because they’d had a cancellation on a school strike day. If your reason was, for example, “I can’t attend on Monday” then they’d try to ensure your next appointment isn’t a Monday. She was trying to help. Why does anyone need to be unreasonable?

I cannot see what the receptionist did wrong in this situation. I would have assumed that she was asking in case you work certain days etc. No point sending you an appointment on Fridays if you work Fridays. Also when I worked in healthcare our booking system when an appointment was cancelled it had a drop down list for reason (admittedly we also just selected stuck in traffic).

With the post the way it is, it's incredibly risky to only rely on this for appointments.

They should operate a 'choose and book' system as standard, with an alternative for people who aren't able to do this.

Last year I had a referral for a dermatology matter and they sent the appointment, which clashed with work. Other than cancelling the appointment and wait for another one, there was no way around it.

After having to cancel the second appointment, I emailed them to say that while they continued to send me random appointment dates, the chances of me being able to make it were quite low.

I gave them a selection of dates in the following couple of months and told them that if they rebooked me for one of those dates, and sent another letter within the next two weeks, I would be able to come. Otherwise, they could waste their time and mine by continually thowing darts at a moving dartboard.

I don't think the receptionist should have asked your reason for cancelling.

I'll admit I hadn't considered the work aspect or not being able to do certain days as her reason for asking so I am being unreasonable in that respect.

Her tone just felt a little judgemental and I was caught off guard being asked why I couldn't attend. As previous people have said it's my appointment and I'd assume my prerogative to cancel an appointment or not.

Surely they need to check whether you still want a future appointment? Or if you can't do certain days because of childcare?

Hope you don't mind me jumping on to recommend seeing Professor Quenby at Tommys Coventry. We went on her CERM medical trial after unexplained recurrent miscarriages and they are amazing there. I wish you lots of luck; enjoy your day out with your friend, you deserve it

Oooh thanks @showmethegin - how do you get referred on the NHS there do you know? Thanks so much for your kind words x

Just through your GP, we just said we wanted to be referred to her specifically. No one else would ever help us properly, just gave us the whole "yeah tests are normal, who knows try again". Quenby and her team gave us care, support, hope and a baby at the end of it. We are forever in their debt x

How lovely showmethegin :)

OP - you said the appointment came through far quicker than you thought anyway and perhaps if you can be referred to the team suggested above, its in your benefit too x

Thanks so much @showmethegin I will definitely ask my GP to refer to her as Coventry isn't far from us either x

Don't feel guilty about cancelling with 2 months notice. Sombody else can now use the appointment,and hopefully you will get a second one soon. It's the people who cancel the day before that drive us mad. Re.apointment booking for those commenting. our trust stopped routinely sending letters for appointments instead did email and text. The number of missed appointments increased as people didn't get the email/ test , due to not changing contact details or in the case of elderly patients which seems to be those over 70 they struggled to open the message or txt and wanted letters. We now do all three. And as for choose and book the clinics run.at the same time every week due to clinicians availability so even if.you only wanted a.tuesday am you wouldn't get it if the clinic doesn't run on aTuesday. We are healthncare not a hairdressers so if your health indicates you need a hospital clinic appointment perhaps you need to assess your priority's.

Don't worry OP, the receptionist will have asked because she has to tick a box to say why you cancelled it. You've given them two months to fill the slot with someone else, so it won't be wasted. Enjoy your day out.

P.S. I work in healthcare and have never heard of a patient cancelling with so much notice, maybe she was just suprised that you did 🤣, so maybe more tone of surprise than judgement?