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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect them to call back?

17 replies

CrapSocialCare · 08/03/2023 22:51

Do you think I am being unreasonable?

Today I made five related phone calls, one after the other all due to a combination of significant social care issues, some extremely difficult medical conditions and severe mental health problems, which includes me feeling suicidal, social services, the Community Mental Health Team and 2 consultants.

Every single service I rang early this morning promise to call back this afternoon.

Everyone, I said to them very clearly that I really need this phone call today because I've been promised called for weeks or months on end and never hear anything and that makes me feel totally worthless.

They all said they promised they was called this afternoon.

Not one of the five organisations called me back.

Is it really unreasonable to expect a phone call? I have literally been begging and crying for help from all of these services for more than 6-months; the Community Mental Health Service I have been waiting to get help from for 3 years and one month.

Today I told them how worthless I felt because they never call back and the lady was very compassionate full of empathy and full of the empty promises of yes we will ring you back. No call back - and this is the crisis team they tell you to phone when you cannot cope anymore - it takes a lot of guts to ring the crisis team so to be ignored is devastating everytime. I'm never going to ring any agsin, fuck em all, I've had enough.

OP posts:
ProjectsGalore · 08/03/2023 22:53

That sounds really tough and I'm so sorry that the help you reached out for has not worked today. Are you safe for tonight? Do you have anyone that can be with you. You are worth something and you do matter.

TemporaryName123 · 08/03/2023 22:54

I’m so sorry you aren’t being listened. I have no helpful advice (other than to assure you you are not worthless), but sending you a virtual handhold 💐

Timingiseverythingcoll · 08/03/2023 22:55

I’m sorry they didn’t call you back OP that’s really rough. You DO matter. XX

CrapSocialCare · 08/03/2023 23:09

@ProjectsGalore i live alone with no family locally. I came to bed really early so I'm hoping I can sleep soon and forget everything. Thank you for helping.

OP posts:
CrapSocialCare · 08/03/2023 23:15

@TemporaryName123 @Timingiseverythingcoll

Fhank you. I just can't find a reason that I'm useful; since I. Lost my job through. Ill health I don't see anyone.

OP posts:
Emelene · 08/03/2023 23:29

I’m so sorry. Can you ring Samaritans so you have someone to talk to? Xxx

anunlikelyseahorse · 08/03/2023 23:30

Your job doesn't define you, so don't give yourself a hard time on that score.
You can't help being Ill, it's just bloody bad luck.
Of course you aren't useless...that's your brain giving you a hard time, don't listen to it!
Where do you see yourself in ten years time?

TemporaryName123 · 09/03/2023 07:31

How are you feeling this morning?

BartsLongLostBro · 09/03/2023 07:35

Oh that is rotten OP.
Hugs.

CrapSocialCare · 09/03/2023 12:05

I'd genuinely like to know why the 7% believe I am being unreasonable for expecting medical professionals to contact a patient when they promised they would. Yet, none of you 7% have openly STATED WHY they think I'm unreasonable.

3 months waiting for the urgent named social worker - and nothing? 3 years waiting for an important assessment, total lack of responses to desperate calls?

Strange.

OP posts:
CrapSocialCare · 09/03/2023 12:31

Emelene · 08/03/2023 23:29

I’m so sorry. Can you ring Samaritans so you have someone to talk to? Xxx

Thank you for responding.

Sadly, the samaritans haven't been helpful - every time they encourage me to open I got the stock responses, so I felt more alone, more out of [safety] control so ended the call.

OP posts:
Eightiesgirl · 09/03/2023 13:06

I am so sorry you are in this position. I've had to ring the crisis team on many occasions for my dh and they are sometimes terrible at phoning back. I have kept phoning them and I know it annoys them but at the end of the day it's their job. I give them until a certain time and then I phone again and again. I also agree with you that the Samaritans can be useless and our local community mental health team leave a lot to be desired. All I can say is please don't just wait for them to ring you back, ring them again. You are important and you matter.

PinkiOcelot · 09/03/2023 13:13

The MH services in this country are a disgrace. I had a suicidal teen and the GP was worse than useless. She has been under CAMHS but discharged to care of GP since turning 18. Great.

I know you don’t want to and I understand why, but please keep ringing them Flowers

JamAndButterOnColdToastPlease · 09/03/2023 14:44

CrapSocialCare · 09/03/2023 12:05

I'd genuinely like to know why the 7% believe I am being unreasonable for expecting medical professionals to contact a patient when they promised they would. Yet, none of you 7% have openly STATED WHY they think I'm unreasonable.

3 months waiting for the urgent named social worker - and nothing? 3 years waiting for an important assessment, total lack of responses to desperate calls?

Strange.

I voted that you are being unreasonable because after all this time being fobbed off, maybe its time to look elsewhere for help or find out how you can sort things yourself because they aren't going to. Whether they should or not is irrelevant, they aren't - so you need to deal with that and look elsewhere.

In all kindness, your self worth is not really the NHS's problem.

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 09/03/2023 17:32

@JamAndButterOnColdToastPlease WTF?

Why would you say "in all kindness" and then go on to be such a totally unfeeling insensitive knobhead to someone who has said they feel suicidal? Maybe reread OP's posts and consider asking MNHQ to remove yours. Even if you don't care about kicking someone when they're down, you may care about people thinking you're a total cunt.

Eightiesgirl · 09/03/2023 18:54

@WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles Well said!

Mangogogogo · 09/03/2023 19:02

JamAndButterOnColdToastPlease · 09/03/2023 14:44

I voted that you are being unreasonable because after all this time being fobbed off, maybe its time to look elsewhere for help or find out how you can sort things yourself because they aren't going to. Whether they should or not is irrelevant, they aren't - so you need to deal with that and look elsewhere.

In all kindness, your self worth is not really the NHS's problem.

What the fucking hell is that response?

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