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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DD fell down at nursery and they didn't call me

70 replies

Rudens · 08/03/2023 20:41

DD (3) has been going to a nursery for 1 year and we haven't had any problems. She's a very cautious toddler and only gets a few bruises during summer when playing outside. She's only had a papercut once at nursery and we had to sign an accident form. I was running late from work today and DH picked DD up today.He picked her up just before closing and the key worker said she's had a fall. They said it was while she was walking down from the stairs and happed on the last 2 steps. She has a big bump on her head and a big bruise that was bleeding below her nose, also she had a nosebleed shortly after. DH was too shocked to ask questions so no idea exactly when it happened but probably just before lunch as DD wasn't eating lunch afterwards and tea either. We're at minor injury unit now to get her checked over. I want to talk to nursery manager tomorrow as I'm really upset that no one called me after it happened. Like I said, she's never been injured like this before and I'm not sure if I'm overreacting or not, but shouldn't nursery call parents when something like this happens? I feel like I can't trust them after this and will just keep wondering at work whether she's ok or not.

OP posts:

MrsMenmen · 08/03/2023 20:45

Hi, yes you definitely should of had a phonecall. Hope that she is okay

mynameiscalypso · 08/03/2023 20:45

I think they definitely should have called - I thought all head injuries needed a call to parents. We get one every time DS has a minor bump and it sounds like more than a minor bump. I'd always want an accident form in case I had to get medical attention. They definitely dropped the ball here.

ibuymeownflowers · 08/03/2023 20:45

Yes and an accident form

Scarfywarfy · 08/03/2023 20:47

How awful :( they should have phoned.

DS shut his finger in a door and it required urgent care at minor injuries and then surgery. It was quite broken (and obviously broken to the untrained medical eye too!) and had blood building under the nail which was excruciating.

Nursery didn't call us for that either. He coped for hours with no pain relief.

Taking him back there made me feel quite sick so I found another nursery.

They closed suddenly about 6 months later....

OP. Go with your gut instincts. Hope she's ok xx

DistantSkye · 08/03/2023 20:48

I would have expected an accident form and agree that I would speak to them about that. For a small fall with presumably no concussion signs I'm not sure if I'd expect a phone call or not? I'm sure mine have had split lips etc and no phone calls.

Also I know it's not nice seeing your kids injured but I think being "too shocked to ask questions" is a bit of an overreaction tbh. I think the nursery is more at fault but it doesn't sound like a total dire emergency situation!

cadburyegg · 08/03/2023 20:49

I would expect an accident form to be completed for a head injury but not necessarily a phone call.

Some childcare providers call about absolutely everything. Some don't call when they should. Must be hard to find the balance

Isthisexpected · 08/03/2023 20:50

Yes that's not on at all. I hope she's ok.

MaryDerry · 08/03/2023 20:51

They have to inform you of head injury (we used to handed a slip of paper with concussion symptoms) but if the child isn't causing worry, is happy and their usual self, it's not too long to collect time... then they may not have felt the need to phone you. Guessing they'd have kept a close eye on her.

Accidents, falls,bruises, and bumps may be rare for your daughter but it's probably an hourly event in a nursery...

I hope she's OK.

Wombatbum · 08/03/2023 20:52

I work in a nursery and we absolutely would call for something like this

angelopal · 08/03/2023 20:53

We used to get phonecalls for all bumps to the head. Usually just to say he had bumped his head but was fine. This should have had an accident form.

Hope she is ok.

FoxtrotSkarloey · 08/03/2023 20:53

I've had kids at three different nurseries and a phone call has been standard for any sort of head injury at all of them, so much so that I've just assumed it's the regulations.

It's then followed up by the accident form to sign an pick up.

As DS' school, they now put stickers on them saying 'ask teacher about my head bump' so it doesn't get forgotten at pick up, but we don't get calls at his age now.

Ilkleymoor · 08/03/2023 20:53

Both nurseries I have used would have called for that kind of injury and done an accident form on arrival. Unless it had literally just happened this is not great.

Bettyboop3 · 08/03/2023 20:54

I would definitely have made sure you were called. Apart from the head bump the parent is then not shocked at pick up and also has the option of collecting their child early and possibly to get them checked out. I'm a nursery manager. Complain!

DahliaRose3 · 08/03/2023 20:54

I wouldn’t be happy about this, and wouldn’t trust that nursery again.

EasterIssland · 08/03/2023 20:56

I think yabu. A form when collecting shall be more than enough. What will you achieve with the call that you don’t achieve with the form?
btw if they don’t have any signs of concussion then taking them to a&e imo is over reacting as well

Flubadubba · 08/03/2023 20:58

Ours call as a matter of course with any head injury (large or small) or incident that impacts their behaviour (not eating etc would class). The change in behaviour normally indicates something needs to be done.

Worth a discussion with them- I wouldn't go in all guns blazing (even if you are furious), but rather try to understand what happened, why, and what steps they will take to ensure it will not happen again for your child, or any others. It's much more effective for everyone to approach it that way.

TheUsualChaos · 08/03/2023 20:59

They should have done an accident form but I would only expect a call if they felt it necessary for child to go home straight away or be taken to minor injuries as precaution. If no signs of concussion etc then I'm not sure why you have taken her to hospital? It sounds like you are not used to your DD getting a few bumps and scrapes so perhaps what feels a shock to you would not faze many other. We used to get accident forms almost every week when DC were in nursery for bumps and grazes.

WineCap · 08/03/2023 21:01

I think the nursery should have called or at least messaged to let you know before pick up. However, I also think that the trip to A&E is a bit OTT if there are no signs of concussion.

Lifeispassingby · 08/03/2023 21:01

I manage a nursery and this would definitely warrant a phone call. If nothing else you are then prepared should anything else happen during the day or if for something reason the message isn’t passed on to the parent(only likely if no obvious injury though of course). I would expect an accident form at the very least but would hope for more. When you meet with them then I think you need to make it clear that you would like to be kept informed of any future accidents by phone call

Smartiepants79 · 08/03/2023 21:08

Ok, perhaps they should have called.
There should definitely have been an accident form and maybe a letter about head injury.
BUT I do think that maybe you’re also overreacting. Children fall. They injure themselves. She now appears ok? Not crying excessively? Not sleepy or sick?
Why would you suddenly not trust them? They dealt with it? Looked after her appropriately? They haven’t ignored her? They could adequately explain what had happened and why?
Is she usually happy to go to nursery? You’ve felt she was cared for and safe?
If so, I’d request a meeting to discuss in a calm and rational manner. I’d request that you are contacted if anything similar ever happens again.
Then I would accept that this is part of life with small children and try not to let my worries impact on my child.

SunshineAndFizz · 08/03/2023 21:09

My nursery definitely would have phoned. They phone about any little bump or fall, even if there's no mark or anything. It's their process. And then a form to sign when we pick her up.

DaltWisney · 08/03/2023 21:09

My DS is in Yr5 at primary and they still call me for any sort of head/facial injury. They'll also give me their own assessment of how serious they think it is, and if they don't think it is serious, I still have the option to collect him if I'm more comfortable with that.

There was an occasion though where they said he'd had a little fall and had a bit of a bump, so he'd had a cold compress and was fine. Then when we picked him up he looked a mess - huge bloody bruised bump to forehead, a purple eye and a raw bloody graze over his lip and cheek. He welled up with tears ge second he saw me and was clearly distressed by it. He complained of having a headache all day and just felt upset. I was quite angry about that, because I did think that warranted him going home.

SaltyGod · 08/03/2023 21:11

I wouldn't have expected a call, but an accident form at pick up with more info.

I agree that your DH being too shocked to ask questions sounds like a very strong reaction, as does a trip to A&E for a child without any symptoms of concussion. You'll wait ages and probably just get given a leaflet on what to look out for, and you can get this very easily online.

All that said, hope she's ok and worth you mentioning to the nursery that you'd like to be called if there is ever unfortunately a similar injury again.

user567543 · 08/03/2023 21:14

I’ve been called every time my child has banged her head - that’s at least 4 times over the years and called every time.

i don’t see the harm in getting her checked out either - I probably wouldn’t have but at this stage I’ve got more experience of head injuries at this point!

SnackSizeRaisin · 08/03/2023 21:16

They should have phoned. Our nursery phone for anything affecting the head, however minor.
Having said that, bumps to the head are normal for toddlers and A and E is an over reaction as long as the child is well in herself and not being sick etc.

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