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AIBU?

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Original poster

How do I stop my colleagues contacting me on my personal phone?

108 replies

didntyou · 08/03/2023 18:40

I'm after some advice. A few years ago my line manager and I had to travel somewhere for a meeting. She gave me her phone number and I made the mistake of texting her from my own phone when I was on my way to meet her. I wouldn't class her as a friend, we are most definitely colleagues.

Since then she occasionally sends me work related messages on WhatsApp, and has since shared my phone number without permission to another manager, who has phoned me at home about a work related incident.

Am I being unreasonable to not want to use my own phone for work communications? I don't particularly like my job, and don't want to be reminded of work by seeing their profile pictures whilst scrolling through WhatsApp (I saved their phone numbers so that I know when they are calling before I answer).

I have a work laptop, and they can contact me on that by email or Skype/Zoom, but as soon as the laptop is off I want to be left alone.

How do I fix this? I don't feel like I can tell them to delete my phone number as it's been going on for so long, and don't really want to change my number because of the hassle involved. Any ideas?

OP posts:
CombatBarbie · 08/03/2023 20:19

didntyou · 08/03/2023 20:11

Thanks for all the helpful suggestions. It's difficult to tell them to delete my number as I work very closely in a small room with my manager for 8 hours a day and want to avoid causing an awkward atmosphere if possible.

I'm going to ignore future messages, and then if asked about it I'll just say I don't routinely check my phone and to email next time.

Well then you need to get a backbone. They have breached GPDR giving your number to others. Easiest thing to do is block and say you've changed numbers and bat off requests with your new number with the advice given above about epping work and personal life seperate.

ilovesooty · 08/03/2023 20:25

Well if you don't feel you can put appropriate boundaries in place you'll have to put up and shut up.

Starflecked · 08/03/2023 20:26

I'd be annoyed if someone passed on my personal number without consent. I'd just say I don't like being contacted on my personal phone about work matters, can you please email me instead. Don't make it into a big deal but also don't let it carry on and annoy you, as you say they wouldn't mind so probably assume you also don't mind.

Hawkins003 · 08/03/2023 20:27

didntyou · 08/03/2023 18:52

No I don't have a work phone. They would definitely know it's my personal phone, the work phones that are given out to some people don't have WhatsApp on them. Both of these people are more than happy to use their own devices, and also happy to be contacted at all hours too, which I'm not.

I could block them and say I've changed my number but then what happens if they ask for my new number? I'm also concerned that the second person in particular may pass my number on to others if they ask, not maliciously, simply because they don't see the issue and would be more than happy for anyone to have their phone number.

Show quote history

When your off hours so to speak, what about putting your phone away that they have the number too, and use another phone as your private one ?

Iyjd · 08/03/2023 20:29

Hawkins003 · 08/03/2023 20:27

When your off hours so to speak, what about putting your phone away that they have the number too, and use another phone as your private one ?

Show quote history

And have to give the rest of the people except for these two her new number, change her number on everything and pay for a second phone/contract?

AlicesPalace · 08/03/2023 20:32

Dogsanddrums · 08/03/2023 18:43

Block their numbers and tell them you changed your number (but don’t)

I was coming on to say exactly this. And if they ask do your new number say “sorry I like to keep work and home separate so that I get a good work life balance”

if they push further then say “if you’d like to contact me I would need a work phone”.

DilemmaDelilah · 08/03/2023 20:35

I have made it very clear to all my colleagues and my boss that my personal phone is never to be used for work calls. I don't give it out, and the first time that our team Secretary gave it to a colleague, who then rang me when I was on leave to ask me to cancel a meeting, I let it be known that I was extremely cross and that it was a breach of GDPR for our secretary to give it out in the first place. I assume she was spoken to about it. I keep my work and my personal life very separate.

oioimatey · 08/03/2023 20:37

Just say that you only want to be contacted about work stuff via email or teams or Zoom or whatever. I think it's perfectly fine to keep your personal phone for personal stuff only.

GerronBuzanDoThaWomwok · 08/03/2023 20:39

Just let your phone go to voicemail? If they mention that they were trying to phone you, just say you don't take work calls in your own time.

Soapyspuds · 08/03/2023 20:47

I think there are three options

  1. Mute the conversations and ignore all messages until they get the hint
  2. Switch off the last seen feature on whatsapp and they them you have lost your phone
  3. Tell them not to use the mobile to contact you about work matters
Luredbyapomegranate · 08/03/2023 20:50

Get a cheap brick and give them the new number and then block them on the old one.

It’s normal to get the odd work call. It’s a phone.

Soapyspuds · 08/03/2023 20:51

Get a cheap brick and give them the new number and then block them on the old one

I do not see how that idea helps
By giving them a newphone number implies that OP is happy to be contacted about work when they are not

cakeorwine · 08/03/2023 20:55

Some of my colleagues have my personal mobile - and they respect it. Some are friends as well.

Some colleagues have it historically - but I have "trained" them to use my work number (which can ring on my personal mobile). If people ring me on my personal phone who shouldn't be, I either ignore it or answer it and tell them it's my personal number.

They are getting much better at not ringing it.

CandyLeBonBon · 08/03/2023 20:57

You can archive them on WhatsApp, so if they message you, it's not in your face.

Overandunderit · 08/03/2023 20:58

Just say to them "I'd prefer my personal number is not used for work purposes" and leave it at that.

fdgdfgdfgdfg · 08/03/2023 20:59

I had this issue a few years ago. I blocked them.

A couple of months later I got queried on why I hadn't responded to something, I just told them I hadn't had it. They couldn't exactly ask me to hand over my phone to find out why, so that was the end of it. All contact from then on was done by email.

CandyLeBonBon · 08/03/2023 20:59

You can also put things like 'do not disturb' on your phone from different numbers I think.

There's lots of ways this doesnt need to be a problem.

If you don't have a work phone and you work remotely, this is the way it is but there are definitely ways to manage it rather than outright blocking

LindorDoubleChoc · 08/03/2023 20:59

Can you not block someone on WhatsApp? genuinely don't know.

CandyLeBonBon · 08/03/2023 21:01

LindorDoubleChoc · 08/03/2023 20:59

Can you not block someone on WhatsApp? genuinely don't know.

Yes you can, but you can also archive people as well as mute them during certain hours.

Growlybear83 · 08/03/2023 21:03

I don't understand the problem with using your personal phone for work. I work from home and people call me on my landline and my mobile and the last thing I would want is a separate work phone that I'd need to check or answer regularly.

Zippidydoda · 08/03/2023 21:05

Growlybear83 · 08/03/2023 21:03

I don't understand the problem with using your personal phone for work. I work from home and people call me on my landline and my mobile and the last thing I would want is a separate work phone that I'd need to check or answer regularly.

I got the impression the op isn’t working from home, but being called outside of work hours on her personal phone.

Mumoftwogirls23 · 08/03/2023 21:06

My boss used to text me after working hours and would call me on days off. I just didn’t answer. They soon get the hint!

Zippidydoda · 08/03/2023 21:07

Op personally I think you need to view this as a personal challenge to yourself. A chance to practice being assertive and having clear boundaries. It might feel awkward or unusual if you aren’t used to being assertive but if you can learn to be a bit more direct it will benefit you in future situations.

crazylegscrain · 08/03/2023 21:07

It sounds like it happened twice

Not regularly they're not over stepping boundaries or being inappropriate

Get over it

Growlybear83 · 08/03/2023 21:08

I get calls outside of normal working hours too - i see it as part of the job. If I get a call after about 8.30 and I'm busy then I will say so, but I don't have a problem with people contacting me on either phone after 5 or 6.🤷🏼‍♀️