Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder whether I should return to work or not?

38 replies

Internationalwomendayheadquarters · 08/03/2023 16:49

SAHM here of 3 DC. I’m married with a good housing situation and we are relatively secure and comfortable. Two are school age (primary) and one is in nursery.

I’ve been offered a job despite having had a fair bit of time out of my industry. It was quite hard to get references (a lot of management had left where I used to work) and I feel lucky to have got the position, especially as I haven’t worked at all for over 2 years.

However, I do cherish the time I’ve got with my kids. I also do have my own independent passive income, which, whilst not a lot, can tide me over until youngest is in school. However, I do realise that if anything happened to our relationship, things could change.

So, I’m wondering whether to take the job and get some sort of intellectual fulfilment or should I stay looking after the children? I also love doing the children. The job is full time, but I think there’s a possibility to go 4 days a week. It’s also term time only which means I get to spent the holidays with the children.

I’ve just started paying into my own private pension, not much, but it’s a start. I can now afford to do this and will do from now on. I’ve missed the last 7 years of paying into a pension.

What’s a girl to do?

OP posts:
SnowLemons · 08/03/2023 16:50

What would you like to do?

Comedycook · 08/03/2023 16:54

I'd take the job....a term time only job is a dream imo. I wouldn't turn that down. I say that as a sahm for over a decade.

Dacadactyl · 08/03/2023 16:55

It'd depend on the ages of the kids?

Who would look after them while you worked?

Wildspace · 08/03/2023 16:55

put yourself a couple of years down the line. What do you see yourself doing? Would you regret not taking this job? Would it be the end of the world if you tried for a few months and if it didn’t work out then you can leave?

Dixiechickonhols · 08/03/2023 16:57

Term time only is 13 weeks a year with the children. If you can negotiate 4 days too you are still spending a huge amount of time with them.
Personally I think you’ll kick yourself in a year or two if you are wanting to work and only options are full time and 4 weeks Hols.

Hurrayforfridays · 08/03/2023 16:57

I wasn't sure how to vote, but I agree - if you have childcare then a term time job seems ideal... I'd take it!

Internationalwomendayheadquarters · 08/03/2023 16:59

@SnowLemons

I want to do both. I want to be really present for my kids and do all the running around for them. I love being there at pick up and doing things in the afternoon.

But I also want to be really on it with my career, that proactive person who people respect and look up to. I enjoy working and making a difference.

I think that’s my issue in a nutshell really.

OP posts:
Blueberrywitch · 08/03/2023 17:00

The job sounds dreamy and perfect timing and lots of time with the kids with the term time and 4 days! Especially if there is any element of WFH another day, I would take it.

Lavender14 · 08/03/2023 17:01

If you have the childcare and you feel keen why not try it, if you do it and hate it then you know you want to wait a bit longer and can give your notice or request part time work or jobs hare.

SarahAndQuack · 08/03/2023 17:01

I would take the job. It'll be good for your pension and, as you say, your situation could change. If it isn't working out you can always change your mind.

Cornelious2011 · 08/03/2023 17:02

I work term only and 4 days per week. It's ideal. I'd take it as you may not get it again. Plus you said yourself you've no recent experience but if you leave it longer that gap will obviously widen and it may be more difficult. Can your dh reduce his hours?

justmyluck1234 · 08/03/2023 17:03

The job sounds great - term time only jobs are hard to come by. If you have the childcare element sorted for if you did take the job I would be inclined to say why not? You would still have 3 days a week with them and all of the school holidays.

If you take it and it turns out it's not what you thought or it's just not working out you can leave. This way you won't have any what ifs.

But of course it's completely up to you.

Mutabiliss · 08/03/2023 17:05

It sounds like a dream job, you should definitely do it.

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 08/03/2023 17:08

I would take it. It sounds ideal for you. The current economic climate means that you might be very glad you did. If you don’t enjoy it or it becomes an unworkable situation, then you can always revert back to where you are now, but with something to put on your cv and some extra money in the meantime. Bit of a win win situation.

Internationalwomendayheadquarters · 08/03/2023 17:12

Dacadactyl · 08/03/2023 16:55

It'd depend on the ages of the kids?

Who would look after them while you worked?

They are 2,4 and 8. DH has happily said he can drop down one day during the week to look after the youngest as she’s obviously not in school yet. I would also do 1 day a week of looking after her and then she would go to nursery for 3 days.

OP posts:
Swiftswatch · 08/03/2023 17:15

Internationalwomendayheadquarters · 08/03/2023 16:59

@SnowLemons

I want to do both. I want to be really present for my kids and do all the running around for them. I love being there at pick up and doing things in the afternoon.

But I also want to be really on it with my career, that proactive person who people respect and look up to. I enjoy working and making a difference.

I think that’s my issue in a nutshell really.

Well you actively perused this role so you must have wanted imo. Imo 4 days a week term time only is pretty close to the best of both.

Internationalwomendayheadquarters · 08/03/2023 17:16

Cornelious2011 · 08/03/2023 17:02

I work term only and 4 days per week. It's ideal. I'd take it as you may not get it again. Plus you said yourself you've no recent experience but if you leave it longer that gap will obviously widen and it may be more difficult. Can your dh reduce his hours?

Yes, I’m definitely concerned about the gap widening even further. I found it hard to get references having been out two years and I think that if I waited another 3 years until youngest is of school age, it could be a stretch too far to go back into a similar role.

It sort of feels like now or never. At least, if I want to keep my hand in with my former career.

OP posts:
Ripples2 · 08/03/2023 17:20

Honestly OP it sounds ideal. What’s holding you back? do you think it could be fear of the unknown/change a wee bit?

You’ll have 3 days a week with the kids and all of the school holidays- perfect balance I think.

BelindaBears · 08/03/2023 17:20

I’d snap their hand off for that, especially if I could negotiate 4 days a week. Your children don’t stop needing you, unless you plan to be a SAHM into their adult years you might find yourself being forced to settle for jobs with a hell of a lot less flexibility later on compared to taking this job now.

Rainbowqueeen · 08/03/2023 17:24

Take the job. Term time only is an incredible opportunity.

Id also try and negotiate some wfh days.
Once your youngest is in school you could renegotiate your hours so that you work 4 days spread over 5 days and then you can do the after school stuff as well.

WombatBombat · 08/03/2023 17:24

Term time only still works out as you spending 46% of the year with them full-time (holidays and weekends).

For the sake of your earning potential, pension, independence, it does seem a bit of a no-brainer.

Particularly if you can negotiate 4 days - once the youngest is at school, that can be worked over five days to allow you to be there for pick ups etc.

HerRoyalNotness · 08/03/2023 17:28

I’d take it.

i got a job after 7yrs unemployed/sahp/studying and work 20hrs a week wfh. They wanted me full time and I discussed doing 6hr days, that way I’m still around for the Dc activities after school, and if I had to commute to office that gets me home in time to continue with it. Project needs are only part time right now and it suits me.

Runningonjammiedodgers · 08/03/2023 17:28

I would take the job. And if you can afford it I would outsource as much of the things you used to do for free. Online food shop and have it delivered, get a cleaner, etc.

That way the time you are not working is time you can spend enjoying your family

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 08/03/2023 17:28

Grab it with both hands. Keep your toe in the work world, or you could find that it may get more difficult to get back in - once you've been out of the swing of it. Plus if you could do four days a week and just term time - that's a dream for most. Best of luck

frothytoffee · 08/03/2023 17:29

I would grab it with both hands.

Swipe left for the next trending thread