To pursue an ASC diagnosis at 49?

[FullMoonInsomniac]

It’s fairly obvious but is it worth getting an actual diagnosis?

I’ve had some work issues (NHS) and wonder if a diagnosis would work for some protection and/or adjustments or would it be another excuse to treat me like I’m unreasonably difficult and should leave.

And by obvious I mean this isn’t a whim or a Facebook questionnaire I’ve done, I’ve worked in this area previously and have an adult daughter who was diagnosed at 13. I know.

could you please share your pros and cons?

How does your organisation enforce making colleagues give you more time to listen? I’d be paranoid as your colleague that I’d get this somehow inadvertently wrong and be up for some sort of disciplinary.

this is part of the difficulty and why the explosion of diagnoses or sometimes self declared diagnosis is causing some conflict.

People who aren’t ASD also have areas they find challenging. Not disputing those with ASD have additional needs of course but it’s a spectrum and a mosh pit of individuality not a black and white sense that without that diagnosis work environments are a joy.
Surely a more supportive flexible environment can’t just be reserved for those who get a specific diagnosis esp when that is increasingly only available to those who pay for it.

Surely a more supportive flexible environment can’t just be reserved for those who get a specific diagnosis esp when that is increasingly only available to those who pay for it.

Are you insinuating that private diagnoses are fake?

How about considering that people only decide to drop a four figure sum on a private diagnosis after (1) Many years of thinking, reflecting, and coming to the conclusion that they are, without question, autistic (I mean, who would spend all that money if they weren’t sure?) and (2) Deciding that they are not prepared to enter the long and clunky NHS adult diagnostic process that sometimes rejects referrals because they are married, have kids and have a job.

Seriously. I’ve heard that about my local NHS adult autism service.

Would you also question a diagnosis of a physical health problem, if that person saw a private doctor? If not, why not?

I accept that private assessments are a privilege not available to all, but the constant disparaging remarks I see about people buying diagnoses just to have an excuse for accommodations at school and work really offends me.

No I’m saying that NHS provision is woeful so if we make a diagnosis the gatekeeper to deciding on better workplace flexibility it becomes only available those with cash. But feel free to assume I’m being horrible.

Although I think there should be clear evidence about professionalism being ensured in the private sector for all sorts of diagnostics yes. It is questionable at times and it causes mistrust which then is harmful to patients.

@Dancingdoggo they don't give me more time to listen, I just ask that after a meeting any actions are emailed clearly because listening to people drone on for an hour is difficult to keep track of. It's literally just asking that actual minutes are taken as they should be and that I may ask for clarity.

I’d be paranoid as your colleague that I’d get this somehow inadvertently wrong and be up for some sort of disciplinary.
While maybe not intended this comes across as very dismissive and discriminatory. completely 'othering' akin to the old 'you can't even say merry Christmas anymore' DM brigade.

I absolutely agree the NHS service is not fit for purpose and diagnosis is becoming more difficult for those who can't pay. But that doesn't diminish anyone who has been able to seek private diagnosis and insinuating that an increase in awareness and diagnosis is a problem is ignorant at best.

So you want a diagnosis as a get out of jail free card at work?!?

Oh fuck off wifemotherworker. Or actually read the bloody thread.

The reason for my question, to be blunt, is whether you are seeking medication?

As you have said, you have already tried various strategies (or started to ), so from that POV a diagnosis won't add anything.

If you want to try meds and have the means, private diagnosis might be worth it for you. On the other hand if you don't want meds you need to decide what a diagnosis will add.

Can you speak to your manager about support regardless?

No. I don’t want or need medication. What I need is a smidgen of understanding occasionally. And to be able to do things like wearing ear plugs to block out nose occasionally without being told off like a toddler. Or to be able to ask for my rota 8 weeks ahead (we are supposed to have but never do until about a week before) without me being told I’m unreasonable.

or to be honest I’d really really like some people to make adaptations to themselves and their own behaviour not mine.

What medication? There's none for Autism

Also apologies for being snappy. It’s been a long and trying week and it’s only Wednesday.

Are you in a union?

You should be getting scheduled on time. Does your work environment suit wearing headphones/earphones? I know many nhs offices allow headphones, everyone uses them in open plan offices when in teams meetings

It sounds like there is a wider issue with a lack of understanding in your workplace, is there any sort id asd/neurodiversity group or education? And if not is it something you could suggest to HR/L&D?

It's not in you to educate or course, but my explorer had a really good neurodivergent support network and it makes a huge difference to a lot of people and has raised awareness and understanding.

But for you now, I see why you are looking at diagnosis to support you with the reactions you get (do give the loops a go though, mine are life savers!). If you aren't already aware of it, have a look at psychiatry UK and right to choose.

OP, please ignore the goady posters. They’re just trying to get a rise out of you.

I was formally diagnosed at 40 and also work for the NHS. I’ve found that since sharing my diagnosis with the people I work most closely with, there has been a LOT more understanding shown to the fact I work and see things differently, and sometimes unintentionally get it wrong socially. I also feel much more comfortable saying I don’t know how to word something correctly or don’t understand or need something made clearer.

I have also finally been given my own desk at a fixed base rather than having to hot desk, and I have permission from my manager to wfh if I need to and go to the gym in the day time when it’s quieter. It has made my working life so much less stressful. Being able to wfh and manage my own hours has been a game changer, especially if I’m having a terrible sensory overload day. On a bad day I just cannot function in an open plan office or be around lots of people. It’s just too overwhelming.

Also, after my diagnosis I had some counselling to help process and deal with the years and years of self hatred, depression, anxiety, self-harm etc and the fact that actually, I’m not a horrible person.

My mum was diagnosed with autism at 48 so why not

Thank you all for your responses. Both pro and con. It’s actually helpful to have the cons questioned. Why do I need a diagnosis? Would it make any difference? Could I just jack in my job and live in loads of benefits (ha!). Would work even acknowledge it and not treat me like I’m unreasonable and dickish.
I mean I can be a dick I know. But am I being a dick with ASC? can I just carry on being a dick with ASC?
I shall ponder.

@LavenderHillMob the OP suspects she has ASC, NOT ADHD, your suggestions are really inappropriate. Please read the posts properly and respond based on what the OP is sharing.

Hi OP,

I am diagnosed with ADHD rather than autism, I got my diagnosis age 42 via Psychiatry UK under right to choose (so NHS pathway).

I would say it has been beneficial for me to help me to understand myself. I have never requested reasonable adjustments at work because of it, mainly because I have worked in some really crappy places with no understanding of confidentiality (looking at you, secondary schools) and I didn't fancy being gossiped about by judgey people with no actual knowledge of the condition.

I definitely experienced judgement from people I thought I could trust when I disclosed my diagnosis to them, so to be honest I keep it to myself.

Just my perspective, and my need to keep my own private business private.

There is still a lot of stigma and judgement attached to neurodiversity - as well as a lot of ignorance as beautifully evidenced by this thread.

Good luck with whatever you decide, I don't regret my diagnosis but I feel sad about having to keep it to myself.

I think being diagnosed can open a lot of doors in terms of understanding for yourself, I was diagnosed as a child so I've grown up kind of knowing why I am the way I am and i think it would be quite tough, not knowing if that makes sense?
With workplace allowences what should happen isn't always what does happen 😬 I've had some quite bad experiences in terms of autism and the workplace, also Adult diagnosises as I understand have quite a long waiting list, which is something to bare in mind if you're looking for immediate help at work.
I've rambled but essentially I think yes, but in terms of work place stuff, don't hold out hope that all are reasonable, some can be dicks despite diagnosis and the law!

The reason for my question, to be blunt, is whether you are seeking medication?
What meds will she get offered with an autism diagnosis? None.

Like @OneRingToRuleThemAll I was diagnosed at 35. That's 4 years ago now. I went private as I came into a bit of money and I didn't have the emotional energy to try and persuade a random gp to make a referral.

I think it's helped with work reasonable adjustments definitely. I've started counselling to work through the years of self hatred, mistakes and rejection. I'm still mostly crap at friendships.

Please just bear in mind that there's practically no support out there for neurodiverse adults. I've just read lots of books and websites. It also hasn't helped that my parents have never asked about my condition after I told them, but hey ho. Something else to work through.

She's not said anything about ADHD

My bad. I got confused with the ASC/ASD and thought you were looking for ADHD.

Given the length of waiting, I was trying to tease out if paying for a private diagnosis would be of benefit (if it's even an option).

As a note of caution, I would say unfortunately, you might need to manage your expectations if you hope other people will change if you were to get a diagnosis.

I am currently seeking diagnosis for neurodivergence, not ASC. I know that diagnosis will make anything easier, but I just want to know. I have felt "wrong" my whole life, so a diagnosis would at least confirm why. Also in the process of getting ds assessed, so I feel I should do the same to support him.

Making the assumption you are female op, the might be worth looking at you nhs trust menopause policy. Peri menopause and menopause can have a huge impact on mental health and resilience, leaving you less able to cope in your usual work environment.