to get so wound up by my mother

[Lordashley]

My mother (who is currently staying with us) tells me that I have too little patience with her.

The kind of thing that drives me to distraction is this: We have a lettuce in the fridge, but my mum goes out and buys a different variety and puts it in the salad drawer. I decide to make a salad at lunchtime. The lettuce she bought is sell-by sooner than the one I bought, so I set about washing "her" lettuce for DH, mother and I to eat. She then observes what I am doing and comments "oh, you are eating MY lettuce!" I point out the sell-by issue, and she explains that she doesn't like "our" lettuce variety so she won't eat that. So could DH and I please eat "our" lettuce and leave "her" lettuce for her!!

Would this ridiculous choosiness drive you round the bend too? Or AIBU?

Let her eat her own lettuce. Lettuce apartheid.

You could give her her own shelf in the fridge. A bit like going back to uni

It would drive me mad, but I think you are going to have to save your energy for more important things tbh.

Just breathe.

You are as annoying to her as she is to you. That's life.

Don't argue over a lettuce.

Well, it is ridiculous so YANBU but I agree that life is too short to let this really rile you.

You are all right - life is too short to get worked up about such a trivial thing. But when these silly incidents happen on multiple occasions, they start to get to you a bit.

And then it makes me depressed to think that my own DD (and her soon to be born sister) might one day find me so annoying. Is it possible to avoid turning out like our mothers?

Lordashley I get you; mine annoys me immensely with her fussiness over lots of Little Things. And then after she's gone following one of her stays here (we are too far apart for her to pop in) I feel guilty that i have found her so irritating.

Oh, my Mum annoys me loads too. And like NSC, I then feel guilty for snapping at her.

DH said recently, "That sounded just like something your mum would say"

If looks could kill...

Lordahsley - we are doomed to become our mothers. . I can see it happening already and i have given up battling the inevitable.

It does help that after years of finding my mother immensely irritating, I actually realise that she is one of the most wonderful people I know - so turning out like her wont be all bad.

NSC, I think we have the same mother! My mum did a decent job of raising me and DD adores her - she is a great granny. But it is just the Little Things. Plus I think we have very different personalities and interests, which doesn't help.

No Lordashley you are not being unreasonable. My mum takes my children out, lets them choose a little jigsaw or something. Then wont let them take it home with them when they go.
Its because she was an only child and doesn't know how to share her toys.

If I thought I was going to turn out anything like my mum I'd slit my wrists now

maidamess - my mother is an only child too. I think I see a connection...

Thanks heavens there will only be 22.5 mths between DD1 and DD2!

aww - see it from your Mums point of view - she's moved in with you, probably had to change quite a bit re her daily life. One of the few things she still has control over is her choice of lettuce - let her be!