Will I make dd look like an idiot if I raise issues about this?

[Jerseytired]

DD is in sixth form. She has autism, OCD and emetophobia.
She is extremely sensitive to textures and smells. Her OCD became very bad in lockdown, counting, checking, massive contamination fears, washing her hands until raw etc,

She has been at college for three years, she has even made bacteria but because it was done clinically she was fine.

Last week a tutor was putting fake bacteria on the students, some asked not to for skin reasons and DD told them she had OCD. The teacher laughed at her and sprayed it getting some on dd and her coat. DD came home and absolutely lost it.

Next week they are doing a practical that involves bacteria, fake sick etc. DD remembers it last year when the other class did it and she could not even walk passed the room without feeling ill.
DD has again told her tutor she has OCD and asked for help but she has just told her she HAS to do it or she will fail her and dd is freaking out.

aibu to at least speak to the tutor and ask for reasonable adjustments

I brought the OCD up partly because of next weeks lesson were she will be handling 'contaminated items' as she is currently all out refusing to take part but also because she is extremely concerned with contamination and even though she was told it was not actually bacteria this did not calm her mind, she was still absolutely worked up when she got home about having something on her hands and clothes, her contamination fears are really quite bad at the moment.

Are you in contact with the disability office? This is exactly the type of thing they can help with. They can approach the tutor and find a compromise that works for both your dd and the tutor

Can you seek proffessional support such as Therapies that will address your daughters phobias ect,

So your daughter is not at disvantage at learning and completing her course so she can work in medical field or whatever field of work your daughter wants to do

There's all sorts of Therapies out there,
Not just counselling that will support help your daughter .

Totally appalling behaviour by teacher.

Raise it with Head teacher urgently with what happened, and a complaint about teacher's unacceptable behaviour.

In addition I would send a formal written letter stating clearly that due to her diagnosis your daughter (name) MUST NOT take part in those bacteria or emetic "contact experiences".

Certain exam boards have certain experiments they have to do. The result doesn’t form part of the final exam result for some boards but for others it does.
If it doesn’t they get a pass or fail for the experiments. If they fail to undertake the experiments ( or fail the module ) they won’t be allowed into universities for science subjects as it’s required. This can vary depending on the subject.

However
If your DD has an issue with the experiment then you need to talk to the school, who need to talk to the exam board to see if there’s an alternative experiment she can do instead.

Whatever happens the teachers treatment of your DD is out order and once again I would be asking the school why the teacher either wasn’t aware of your daughters needs or ignored them.

No ECHP. Her secondary school where absolutely rubbish and I did not realise until recently that we could have applied ourselves.
She has a full learning plan with the disability team and senco there.

What the hell course is this?
I don’t want to do it either! Bloody grim and I don’t have any conditions, but sick makes me wretch. They would be cleaning up my actual vomit!

I have OCD, but not contamination themes, and this is absolutely awful. A public and unplanned exposure like that (even if "fake") would cause significant distress and make things worse for a long time.

They cannot fail her for that, although they have failed to protect your DD and give her a safe education :(

Yes we are doing, it is very restrictive at this point and we need help.

I completely understand.

Obviously your DDs OCD is an issue which the teacher needs to take into account but even if she didn’t have OCD I think the teacher should have allowed her to not take part.

Some practicals are required practicals where she’ll need to do it and this may need to be done in a way that is suitable for her.

But it sounds like this was just a fun experiment and not actually required so even more reason why she shouldn’t have had to do it.

I can only imagine the teacher thought your DD was having a joke.
Which would make sense as she laughed and sprayed it anyway.

I would definitely talk to her about it.

I have OCD and in my experience, some people understand what OCD actually is and some people don't.

The amount of folks - including well educated folks - that think OCD means having a preference for sparkly taps and CDs in alphabetical order is very high.

Because of that, it is sometimes viewed as a joke illness, as opposed to what it is - a condition that has been ranked by the World Health Organisation as being one of the 10 most debilitating illnesses.

I'm assuming the university has some sort of student welfare provision - I think she should take this there as the lecturer is obviously one of these people that doesn't understand how debilitating OCD is.

Thank you all.

I fully expected to be told I was being unreasonable.

I have now emailed the tutor and cc'd in the lead senco.

College must hate me but at least they only have her a few more weeks...

In my safeguarding training at school we are reminded not to touch students, I always find it ridiculous we need to be told because I believed nobody would be stupid enough to not know that. It turns out your DDs teacher is the reason. I would make sure the complaint goes above her, your daughter refused consent to a physical act and it was ignored. The teacher will more than likely listen to your email in this case but then possibly not give it a second thought in future, it coming from their line manager will mean they have to listen and the college are aware of the gaps in the training.

Copy in the sendco in regards to next weeks lesson. I don’t have autism or ocd, but I couldn’t be around fake sick either and I would insist that is respected as I am not a robot.

Might be worth forwarding a copy of the NICE guidelines and OCD description from an organisation like OCD UK or OCD action

Three years at college so over 18? If so I wouldn't email/contact them directly but I would support her to take it further and to access support from the SENCO.

From what you say that she has managed some practical exercises previously, I'm wondering if the reasonable adjustments that she would need might be achieved by use of waterproof gown, gloves (or double gloves?) and goggles / visor? As well as sensible lab behaviour rather than trying to "make it fun" ...

Good luck.

The amount of folks - including well educated folks - that think OCD means having a preference for sparkly taps and CDs in alphabetical order is very high.

This.

You can be disorganised but have OCD.

Absolutely contact them.
I know just where you are coming from as my 18yo DD has (doctor recognised) germ anxiety and worries massively about germ transfer.
Yes fully able NT teens should be able to advocate for themselves but ND teens with anxiety or other issues often can't, all their energy goes into getting through the day.

Does the teacher definitely understand that DD has diagnosed OCD? And isn’t just jumping on the ‘im a bit OCD’ wagon?

As her mother I would have no problem coming down hard on the school for dismissing mental health concerns

You've had lots of really good advice here so I won't add anything to the main, but i have an idea about the experiment with the "fake vomit"...
if it's something for example to demonstrate correct handling of spillages, would it help if your daughter could use, say, a tin of vegetable soup or baked beans, that she opens and sets up herself so she knows exactly what it is she is handling? Just an idea if it might help.

YADNBU, you're advocating for her and being a great mum. I hope she is given all the support and the tutor is rightly reprimanded for being such a dickhead.

I always, always ask students if they're happy to have something done, SEND or not. The teacher is disgraceful and needs to be told so.

If a practical is required, I assume there would be a way for her to take part without actually getting stuff on herself, whether fake or real.

If for example she needed to show she knows how to deal with a contaminated substance, she could do it with an empty container, or they could just wet something with water, or wet her hands with water or some other substance she is ok with like whatever soap or shower gel she usually uses. I am not remotely involved in this area and have already thought of several possible solutions so why on earth can't the teacher?

I see someone has also suggested using a tin of beans as fake vomit. Exactly that - something that she won't mind getting on her, but she can show the relevant skills.

And laughing/goading is despicable.

You might want to remind the college of this tragic case.

A young woman, a physics undergraduate who suffered from severe social anxiety, took her life the day before she was due to give a “terrifying” oral exam in front of teachers and fellow students. She had asked for another assessment method and was told ‘no’. The parents sued for not taking reasonable care of their daughter’s wellbeing, health and safety and the University was found to have failed to make reasonable adjustments and breached their duty of care.

www.theguardian.com/education/2022/may/20/bristol-university-found-guilty-of-failings-over-death-of-student-natasha-Abrahart

It's not a teachers place to decide whether a student saying they have OCD is 'for real' or not. Her choice to say no should have been respected. What are we teaching students if we tell them that no means no - but then show then that this doesn't apply if someone thinks you might be joking.

Hopefully the teacher will be horrified when they realise that this is a genuine diagnosis that they have trampled all over and apologise to dd. I think all her teachers need to be made aware of her diagnosis and look at what they can put in place to enable her to do what she needs to.