To want to spend my savings on a home I want to live in

[hufflepuffbutrequestinggriffindor]

I am nearing 40 and have made it clear to my OH that I want us to buy a home before I'm 40. I was brought up in a council home so there's no money in the family so all my money is mine. We both set up lifetime ISAs to save into. I earn more money so maybe have a little more disposable income but I do pay for more things for DS to balance it out. So far I have saved 4 times as much as OH (££££) and there is a possibility the mortgage would have to be in my name as he has a poor credit rating. He wants us to buy super cheap as that's how first time buyers do it and wants me to buy a flat in a rougher area to begin with. I get very anxious and this develops into agoraphobia when it gets bad and due to this, I cannot live in a flat. (Been there, done that, it gives me the fear). I also do not want to buy somewhere and move again within 10 years. I am happy to buy a small cheapish house in an ok area but apparently I am wanting too much and being unreasonable. I have told him he can't make me spend my money on somewhere I don't want to live but apparently I'm unreasonable for this.

I hope you are not married.

I would be very very wary of being married to him.

He sounds like a user loser.

Protect yourself, your, your money.

Buy in your name only, let him pay you rent but actually re think this relationship.

The other issue with flats is the cost of the service charge, maintenance and ground rent.

He’s dragging you down to his low level.

Are you married?

Thats almost word-for-word what I was going to say.

aim higher than a man who is dragging you down.

Make the most of your stamp duty bonus for being a first time buyer.
yours is the right way. Moving is expensive and with the uncertainty of the market buy somewhere you want to be.

What does he say about the costs of moving more than once? If you were to sell in a few years you've got extra estate agent fees, solicitor's fees, survey, moving fees +stamp duty by making two steps instead of just one. Doesn't make sense if you can afford it in one step.

For anyone who has the element of choice, I would say “don’t live in a house that you don’t love”. It will make you miserable and resentful.

It doesn’t need to be big, fancy, expensive etc, but you do need to feel happy in your home. If you know you won’t be happy on a flat, then don’t let him talk you into buying one.

Not unreasonable. I live in a flat I absolutely despise in an area I absolutely despise and it has a HUGE impact on my life. Live where makes you happy, if you can.

You're right, your money your choice. Keep the house in your name. Don't ever marry him.

Dont marry this guy.

Spend your money as you wish.

But exactly what you really want and no less. Do not listen to him.

Buy not but!

Why isn’t he saving? I think your op says the income difference isn’t much /you spend extra to compensate so he’s just shit with money and wants to tell you what to do with yours? He can save his own. I’d want to buy without him and make sure he doesn’t have a claim on the house, so hopefully you aren’t married.