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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would a teacher tell you this?

23 replies

Mindhasgoneblanketyblank · 07/03/2023 18:16

Saw a photo of Dd, the teacher had sent me today (Dd was crying on the way in as was tired and has been ill, unfortunately I had to leave her to go to work)
I noticed she was sat on the floor and not on the carpet with the others, I asked her why she wasn’t sat on the carpet and she said she never wants to so doesn’t, but all the other kids do. I said to her she should sit on the carpet if all the other kids do.
I’ve also noticed if I arrive early, she’s generally the one at the front of the line, holding the teachers hand.
I used to be a teacher and it was generally the kids who were a little lively that we took to the front and held hands with to keep control of them.
If she’s not following orders, sitting on the carpet etc, would the teacher not let me know during a meeting/on reports?
I realise it’s not a huge thing but I’d probably mention it I think?

OP posts:
ChildminderMum · 07/03/2023 18:20

It's not unusual for nursery children to not always comply, so I wouldn't expect the teacher to mention in unless her behaviour was really causing problems.

FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks · 07/03/2023 18:24

How is this an issue exactly? You want them to force your kid to sit on the carpet instead? Confused

SallyLovesCheese · 07/03/2023 18:27

The hand holding is maybe just because the teacher understands your DD appreciates little gestures like that. I've had plenty of classes where they line up in register order or something and maybe I'll have a line leader who I know needs a little boost like that.

Re. the carpet, again, I wouldn't be overly bothered. Maybe it's a sensory thing (not all children like the feel of carpet) or just something your DD chooses. If she's following along with the lessons just fine then I wouldn't be bothered as a teacher, it's a kind of reasonable adjustment and causes no harm.

Original poster
Mindhasgoneblanketyblank · 07/03/2023 19:16

@SallyLovesCheese Thank you for the feedback, I’m just wondering why she doesn’t want to sit on the carpet (if that’s what it is and she’s been told not sit on the carpet 🙈)

OP posts:
Original poster
Mindhasgoneblanketyblank · 07/03/2023 19:18

@FoxInSocksSatOnBlocks No. I was just curious if it was something a teacher would mention-that she doesn’t sit on the carpet with the others

OP posts:
BurbageBrook · 07/03/2023 19:22

It's hard for the teacher sometimes to remember to mention everything going on about 30 kids. So maybe she didn't think to.

bigTillyMint · 07/03/2023 19:28

@Mindhasgoneblanketyblank, I am really surprised that a teacher sent a photo of your DD - maybe you are either not in the U.K. or it is a private nursery?
Have you asked the teacher why she sent the photo? Is she concerned about your DD not sitting on the carpet, and if so why exactly?

Have you asked your DD why she doesn’t want to sit on the carpet?

CaptainMyCaptain · 07/03/2023 19:33

I once had a child who wouldn't sit on the carpet but walked round the room. I suspected ASD and gave him a chair with his name on (he decorated the label himself) and he sat on the edge. After a few weeks he sat on the carpet with the others. He went through school and was never diagnosed with anything he had just needed a little help at that point. I assume your child's teacher is doing what she feels will help your child. I did discuss what I was doing with the parents of the child I had but photos weren't such a thing then.

Hellocatshome · 07/03/2023 19:33

Maybe they are just picking their battles. If she is happy not siting on the carpet but can still join in with whatever is going on from where she is then whats the harm. She is only young and if she isn't being defiant about everything the carpet thing isn't that important and will probably resolve itself given time and patience anyway.

WonderingWanda · 07/03/2023 19:38

How old is your dd? I'm not sure I would describe teacher instructions as orders. Maybe the teacher is being kind. You mention dd wanting to hold her hand and you mention dd crying when you dropped her off, sounds like she is struggling a bit and I'd be pleased the teacher was showing a bit of care and compassion to be honest.

How long ago were you a teacher and did you teach the same age group? I wonder if you taught older children?

Was the photo sent through a school app like seesaw? Or just from the teachers phone?

LateOnTheBandwagon · 07/03/2023 19:39

Were you sent the picture on Seesaw or similar? What was the context of the picture? It may just be a one-off and your DD didn't feel like being on the carpet that day. Maybe you are just reading too much from one picture that was posted showing the class's " listening to a story" or similar.

Seashor · 07/03/2023 19:43

I don’t believe for a minute that you were ever a teacher! If you once were then you come across as absolutely ridiculous!

dinkybella77 · 07/03/2023 19:44

This is really common with Reception children. As a teacher , would I mention it? It depends on the context & frequency

If she isn't joining in with the others first thing in the morning it could just be a transition thing where she does this on arrival but snaps out of it and joins the group after a few minutes ( quite common and usually resolves without a fuss)

If it is happening throughout the day at every carpet time session....I would be thinking about why she was disengaged. Is she overwhelmed by a large group? Seeking attention? Struggling to listen? For any if these reasons I would be having a conversation with parents. Especially at this point in. the year. Children should be familiar with the routine and environment by now.

PetitPorpoise · 07/03/2023 19:45

bigTillyMint · 07/03/2023 19:28

@Mindhasgoneblanketyblank, I am really surprised that a teacher sent a photo of your DD - maybe you are either not in the U.K. or it is a private nursery?
Have you asked the teacher why she sent the photo? Is she concerned about your DD not sitting on the carpet, and if so why exactly?

Have you asked your DD why she doesn’t want to sit on the carpet?

It's very common for nursery staff to share photos via Tapestry or similar with a quick comment of something the child has been up to that day.

Original poster
Mindhasgoneblanketyblank · 07/03/2023 19:47

@dinkybella77 Yes, that was my thinking too.

OP posts:
Shesinthegym · 07/03/2023 19:49

Was she sat just off the carpet or further away. I assume just off the carpet if you can see her in a group photo. Does she wear tights? School carpets are very scratchy especially through tights.

bigTillyMint · 07/03/2023 19:58

@PetitPorpoise, it’s a long time since my DC went to a day nursery, so I’m sure things have changed. It would be very unusual for a state school nursery in my current experience!

shard5 · 07/03/2023 20:05

It must have been on seesaw or similar app, in my dds nursery they take consent first to take photos and share them with us on seesaw, no one else can see my Dds pictures unless I give permission for her to share them on the class group.

ChopOrNot · 07/03/2023 20:05

Have you had a parent's evening yet? If one is coming up maybe the teacher will raise it then.

Sugargliderwombat · 07/03/2023 20:14

Do you mean she's on the floor next to the carpet? I wouldn't mention that, as it's just a preference. To be honest if I thought she was a little contrary and just enjoyed being a bit different (which is fine in small children!) I would actively ignore it and not make a thing of it by telling you. You also say she was crying, I also wouldn't make a fuss about where to sit if they were crying coming in.

Ignore her being at the front of the line, that doesn't mean anything.

Original poster
Mindhasgoneblanketyblank · 07/03/2023 20:24

We’re not in the U.K., the teacher sent a photo via WhatsApp to show that Dd was ok and happy now (after crying for me when going in) which was a kind thing to do. I just noticed on the photo that Dd was sat on the floor at the side of the carpet, you could see the edge of the carpet and a child’s leg.

OP posts:
CaptainMyCaptain · 07/03/2023 20:34

Mindhasgoneblanketyblank · 07/03/2023 20:24

We’re not in the U.K., the teacher sent a photo via WhatsApp to show that Dd was ok and happy now (after crying for me when going in) which was a kind thing to do. I just noticed on the photo that Dd was sat on the floor at the side of the carpet, you could see the edge of the carpet and a child’s leg.

On the edge of the carpet doesn't even seem like a problem to me. Perhaps she prefers the feel of tiles to the carpet.

Hellocatshome · 07/03/2023 20:35

The edge of the carpet is really not an issue as far as I can see.

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