I really need a therapist but getting so overwhelmed even trying to find one. Ironically this is making me feel even more shit about myself, as "I can't even do that right".
Had a bad experience with a (fully qualified, licensed) psychotherapist years ago who touched me inappropriately and non-consensually, and I know this also makes me wary and anxious about choosing a safe and good person.
Feeling sick here at work, constant intrusive thoughts of not being intelligent enough or efficient enough. Which makes me freeze and do nothing, and then I loathe myself more. I get rare glimmers of knowing I can do a little bit, and that it's ok and good enough, but am so exhausted.
I struggling along but I just need to retrain my brain to be less savage - what type of therapy do I need?