To not count calories in my dinner?!

[BiscuitBandit32]

OK I've got an idea.

I am around 3 stone overweight and SO CONFUSED about how to get the weight off. I'd settle for 1 of those stones off tbh. I've battled with several methods over the years but never found anything I can stick to. I tried calorie counting (again) recently but found it really impractical with a family. Yes, I know loads of mums do it and succeed but I'm just being honest, I struggle. And I don't think it's a coincidence that the people you see on insta pushing calorie counting are mostly either teenage girls or childless men. It's all well and good calorie counting if you are cooking for 1 and have no stress in your life.

So I had an idea...is this totally stupid??

Basically I thought I could count calories BEFORE my dinner only...so breakfast lunch and any snacks. I'd try and keep those below 800. Then I'd just eat my dinner as normal. I'd try to be mindful of portion size, increase my veg, try and make sure its a healthy nutritious meal but I would not count the calories in it. As long as I don't go mad or load up on pasta and butter, any meal would be well below 1000 calories.

The reason I'm thinking of this is because I really struggle with calorie counting dinner. I find it super stressful. Dinner time is chaos in our house and when I'm trying to plan, weigh, measure, track and log my calories it just feels like a HUGE chore, I get fed up and quit.
But I know I need to be in a caloric deficit to lose weight. And I can probably cope with tracking my own bfast and lunch and snacks as its not a complicated family meal.

My idea was that if my pre dinner food comes to 800, my dinner won't be more than about 800 (probably an over estimate really) so I would probably end up with less than 1800 total calories per day (wich is what most calorie calculators give me as a target.

Thoughts? Anyone else tried this way of doing things? I'm thinking it might take the pressure off whilst still reducing my intake.

I lost 3 stone on about 1800-1900 calories a day in 9 months.

I can only assume that those that eat way way less just do not move at all. I work from home and have a mainly sat down day but I make sure I fit in 2-3 hours of movement a day - if that means getting up at 5 in the morning so be it. You don't have to beast yourself for those 2-3 hours, but movement of some sort that gives you 500-1000 active calories a day helps. I am 53 and not mega fit, just at the top end of my BMI and eat very well and a lot of food but I move a lot to compensate.

Thanks all. Some very interesting opinions! I'm certainly not going to be making myself live off salad and tiny side plate portions...that's just not necessary. I'm not going to pretend I know it all, I don't, I'm overweight....but I do know I shouldn't have to starve myself to lose weight - and I won't.
Quite alarmed at how many people saying they would maintain or gain at 1600 calories. You're all either a) absolutely tiny people b) sedentary to the point of barely ever standing up or c) wildly underestimating your true calorie intake.

I still havent decided what to do but I may give this a go and do a sort of slimming world / calorie counting mash up!

If you have instagram the girl fit method is a good page to follow & their podcast has really educated me too :)

It isn't normal but neither is our current diet or lifetyle on an evolutionary scale. Most of us eat a lot of shit and move very little.

Do slimming world no calories you can cook the same meal for everyone....Bolognese, roast, chips just cooked low fat. One third of a plate must be veg or some fruits.

Slimming world still relies on you being in a calorie deficit though.

If eggs and potatoes are a trigger change it pasta, rice, sweet potato if you truly do 1/3 speed that will fill you up most go wrong by loading the plate with potatoes and meat then put veg on top so it's not 1/3 then eating the potatoes and meat and not managing to finish the speed.....speed is filling that's the idea.
You can eat out anywhere with sw you need to save the days points and make healthy choices.
To be honest you always have to be careful eating out unless it's very occasional.
Are you truly invested in loosing weight?

I certainly didn't make myself live off salad, tiny portions and no food. It would have been completely unsustainable after a few weeks.

I know calorie counting won't suit your evening meal but I think if you can try to loosely estimate for the first couple of weeks and get to understand your family meal calories it would help you in the long run. This does not mean weighing and measuring every morsel but what I used to do is sit down later in the evening and on a quick scrap of paper just get the packets out and write down the total cals for the whole thing for example:-

750g mince at 170 a 100g = 1275
Tin Toms = 80
Tin Kidney beans - 240
Tin Canneloni beans - 240
Olive oil = 60
Round up for errors = Family spag bog is 2,000 cals before adding spaghetti roughly split into portions is about 400 cals per portion.

I did this for all our family meals and then if I used the same ingredients every time (i.e. the 5% mince instead of the 20% mince) I knew I would be there or thereabouts. Some days I might have a bigger portion other weeks less but it would all even out in the end.

Weighing rice and pasta for the family is not difficult so we always weigh out portions of that.

I would eat cake and sweets and whatever I wanted in my 1800-1900 calories a day and I felt full and I sustained it for 9 to 10 months losing roughly 1lb a week.

I found this much easier than counting points, syns or whatever else some of these diets make you do.

I certainly didn't make myself live off salad, tiny portions and no food. It would have been completely unsustainable after a few weeks.
Well yeah, this is why
I would eat cake and sweets and whatever I wanted in my 1800-1900 calories a day and I felt full and I sustained it for 9 to 10 months losing roughly 1lb a week.

Because you were reasonable, but lots of people on MN always argue for very low cal, no smacks, no carb, don't even look at fruit, a cake?! you will never lose if you eat cake. Most people here seem to have metabolism which should be studied. Your approach is exactly why you lost and imho ehat OP is looking for.
I have seen someone seriously claim on weightloss thread they can only lose weight on 600cal. I hope they are better now because that was scary

I almost can't bear to open a weight loss thread as it is just full of the most diabolical and frankly scary advice.

It is very simply calories in versus calories out, yes you can achieve it by keto or no dairy, or no sugar/choc or whatever but every diet comes round to calories in versus calories out. I know a lot of people will come on arguing insulin resistance and quality of calories and hormone regulation blah blah blah but it always boils down to consuming less calories. The whole starvation mode rubbish that always rears it's head is infuriating, people believe it!!!

I also love the one where people honestly think their bodies understand the difference from one week to the next and don't get that weight loss isn't linear.

So you hear people say I didn't have apple cake last Tuesday and I lost 2.5lbs so it must be the apple cake OR I ate an extra 100 calories a day last week so I must have been in starvation mode and eating a bit more made me lose weight......no no no no no. It was just a coincidence that your body just happened to be ready to give up the weight that week.

My body takes 10-14 days to lose weight and on about 1800 calories a day I would lose about 2.5-3lbs every 10 to 14 days. In some diet worlds the week that I lost the 2.5-3lbs would be hailed a triumph and then the next week everyone would be feeling a failure and scratching around trying to work out why this week my body hasn't lost anymore because surely it knows it's a new week right? And then you make some silly change (like switching from one yoghurt brand to another) to try and lose weight again and the following week would lose another 2.5-3lb and be all pleased with yourself that the change you made the week before definitely made the difference, when it was simply your body wasn't ready for another 10-14 days to lose that next chunk. It is infuriating.

That and when people think they can "get away with" a blow out before weigh in the following week...oh my god that's mind blowing that they somehow think those calories don't count in the grand scheme of things.

The way our minds work and how uneducated we are around weight loss and food is astonishing.

You don't need to count calories at all.

I lost 60lbs and I'm maintaining - never counted a single calorie.

Made sure to change my habits sustainably, the weight will follow.

Stress free, meant I could easily eat out etc.

First I just stuck to 3 meals a day, no snacks unless snacky foods were part of meal. Made sure to get my 5 a day and eat without distractions, learn when in hungry/full.

Only exercise I did was walking.

Now I eat intuitively. Took a year to lose the weight but being willing to take it slow made it so much easier. Diets are fads and so is calorie counting!

I almost can't bear to open a weight loss thread as it is just full of the most diabolical and frankly scary advice.

I had to step away from these when losing too. Either they were ectreme or were goving me the false excuse of "must be my metabolism, nothing I can't do about it". I also have big issue with diet language like "cheating" and "naughty" etc.

It's such a shame there is usually not much reasonable chat because weightloss can be done without starving, torture and shame. I remember there was a great thread on weightloss topic thought which was so noce and supportive and reasonable. Credit to the posters there

Give it a try. I like jdseasonings, slimming foodie, slimming eats and pinch of nom recipes. All very family friendly - lots around 500 cals mark. The yellow slimming foodie book is very good.
I find the slimming world at least 1/3 plate veg or salad works for me as you don’t overeat carbs.
If other family members need more cals they can have extras with it eg garlic bread.

Totally agree. As I've said up thread, I'm on 130gms carbs a day or less type diet because it was recommended for my pre diabetes by my GP - I needed to stabilise my blood glucose levels AND get the weight off.

At the end of the day if I'm substituting say, cauliflower rice for normal rice I'm doing the following:

Normal rice (75gms cooked to become 235 grams when it swells) = 75 grams of carbs and 300 plus calories. According to Tesco's nutrition panel on the product.

Cauliflower rice (2 packets to be fair to compare - I normally only have one obviously) = 5.2grms carbs and 60 calories for the cauliflower rice. Again according to Tesco's nutrition panel.

So I'm in deficit calorie wise by cutting the carbs down for the pre diabetes problem. It's the same with SW - cut the fat, cut the calories from the fat. WW - lower calorie food has a better points rating so you're taking in less calories. Fasting - well that's pretty obvious!

Ultimately you could lose weight eating nothing but chocolate or apple cake IF the calories you consume don't expand past the calories you're using. You'd be ill as you wouldn't get the nutrients and may well be on the road to diabetes etc but you'd lose weight.

It really depends on what works for you, is safe as far as your health is concerned and is sustainable in the long term.

There were people who lost weight eating only maccies.
Is it healthy? No.
Can you lose weight? Yes

I think the carb devil thing is because of that godforsaken white bread here😂
I love bread! Eat loads always. But I grew up in central Europe and this white bread gives me issues too. Bloated, uncomfortable, swelling on occasion. Funnily rye or sourdough doesn't do that to me.

I have 1683 calories a day and am losing 1lb a week. I have more calories on a weekend for wine and just adjust the other days. Some days I have lots left so I have another snack

All my meals for dinner involve pasta or rice. I don’t not allow myself any foods. It’s about moderation. It works for me