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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Queue jumping in cafés

331 replies

JoanThursday1972 · 06/03/2023 19:42

I was in a queue buying coffee to take out today. It was practically full and in front of me was a man by himself buying a sandwich and tea to stay in, and one available table only.

Two women came in behind me, one swanned off and took the only spare table whilst her friend bought the drinks.

Basically they'd pushed in. I think it's extremely rude. I didn't see what happened as I got my takeaway coffee and left. I do hope he challenged them though.

OP posts:
Doesthepopeshitinthewoods · 07/03/2023 08:48

EarringsandLipstick · 07/03/2023 07:30

Reading more of the posts, it seems a lot of people on their own think they should have a table to themselves? It obviously depends on how busy it is, but I would never expect to have a table to myself in a busy coffee shop, and am happy to share someone else's. The one I go to has a counter area too so I'll usually sit there so people in twos / groups can sit at the tables.

I’ll reserve myself a seat at a table with my coat, as per my earlier post. But I’m obviously not going to bag myself a large table and nor would I object if someone asked to share it.

It seems odd that it’s rude in some areas. Where are you? Where I am it’s common sense, especially if it’s busy. Why would you want to find yourself in the mad situation of a previous poster where she was standing at the counter, a tray full of food, refusing to pay until a staff member arranged her a free table? 🫢

KimberleyClark · 07/03/2023 09:01

Do people who think it’s wrong to reserve a table before you get your food and drink think that people should not reserve a table at hotel breakfast buffets before getting their food (I.e when you’re not allocated/shown to a table anyway)?

HurryShadow · 07/03/2023 09:04

Connected, but slightly different. In an NT cafe in a massive queue, wanting a cream tea and there was a basket in the middle with the scones and there weren't many left. We were almost in line with the basket when a lady from the back of the queue wandered over and started picking up one for each of her party, leaving 2 remaining. I'd been waiting until we were in line with the baskets to pick them up, assuming everyone would just wait their turn, but no.

So, in a louder than necessary voice I said to my DH "well... looks like I'd better go and get those scones before anyone else behind us in the queue does" then proceeded to walk alone the line to the basket, checking with everyone in front of me that I wasn't "stealing" their scones...!

Petty? Absolutely, but I feel I made my point! 😂

(and they were definitely worth the wait!)

SofiaSoFar · 07/03/2023 09:12

YANBU!

But on MN you'll be told it's perfectly fine to push in and steal a table before you're served.

Fucking abhorrent behaviour.

MRex · 07/03/2023 09:13

PinkTonic · 07/03/2023 08:44

It’s irrelevant if you take your turn.

Show quote history

4 empty tables and 9 people in the queue. How can you guess on walking into the cafe the number getting takeaway and the number sharing tables? So you'll stand in the queue waiting for all 9 to be served, only to find there is no table left for you? Or you walk out, even though they might have only used 2 of the tables between sharing and takeaway?

JunkinDonuts · 07/03/2023 09:14

SofiaSoFar · 07/03/2023 09:12

YANBU!

But on MN you'll be told it's perfectly fine to push in and steal a table before you're served.

Fucking abhorrent behaviour.

Maybe, but they're not stood there like a lemon with a tray of food.

StressedToTheMaxxx · 07/03/2023 09:15

GoodVibesHere · 06/03/2023 19:54

If you're with a friend, one of you grabs a table while the other one queues. It's always been like that! I've been going to cafes for over 30 years and it was always this way.

Also you check how busy it is before going in - either look through the window or go in and check there are spare tables. It's always been this way. Of course now you also have to check for dogs, but that's a whole other thread!

Yes but if you're on your own and you look through the window and see 3 spare tables, then you'll think great, I can sit down. But then if you're queueing and other people in groups/couples come in behind you and take up a table before you and they have even got served, leaving no spare tables by thr time you get your coffee, what then?

SofiaSoFar · 07/03/2023 09:15

loobylou10 · 06/03/2023 20:39

I never understand these posts. Where I live, one person gets the table, the other person queues. It's not pushing in.

You never understand?

It's not that complicated, is it?

SofiaSoFar · 07/03/2023 09:17

JunkinDonuts · 07/03/2023 09:14

Maybe, but they're not stood there like a lemon with a tray of food.

Show quote history

So people who are alone without a fellow grabby fucker to steal a table are "lemons"?

Nice.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 07/03/2023 09:20

SofiaSoFar · 07/03/2023 09:12

YANBU!

But on MN you'll be told it's perfectly fine to push in and steal a table before you're served.

Fucking abhorrent behaviour.

🤣

JunkinDonuts · 07/03/2023 09:23

SofiaSoFar · 07/03/2023 09:17

So people who are alone without a fellow grabby fucker to steal a table are "lemons"?

Nice.

Show quote history

You claim one by putting something on it, or your coat on the chair.

loobylou10 · 07/03/2023 09:24

'You never understand?
It's not that complicated, is it?'

@SofiaSoFar , no, not complicated at all - what I meant what this is so not normal practice where I live. (But you knew that anyway didn't you!!)😂

RufustheSpeculatingreindeer · 07/03/2023 09:36

shockthemonkey · 07/03/2023 07:21

You must go to very posh cafés

Show quote history

Costa 😳

I don’t get it…..what have i said that leads you to believe i only go in posh cafés?

whats a posh cafe

Doesthepopeshitinthewoods · 07/03/2023 09:43

SofiaSoFar · 07/03/2023 09:12

YANBU!

But on MN you'll be told it's perfectly fine to push in and steal a table before you're served.

Fucking abhorrent behaviour.

Abhorrent? It’s common sense. If it’s table service, you’d have a point. If it’s counter service, it’s basically a canteen. What sort of a maniac would order and pay for food and drink without having somewhere to sit and eat it?

RufustheSpeculatingreindeer · 07/03/2023 09:43

Obviously depends on the cafe as well 🤔

Doesthepopeshitinthewoods · 07/03/2023 09:44

SofiaSoFar · 07/03/2023 09:17

So people who are alone without a fellow grabby fucker to steal a table are "lemons"?

Nice.

Show quote history

Put your coat on a chair. That’s what I do. Better than wandering around with a full tray looking hopeful while people studiously avoid your eye.

Doesthepopeshitinthewoods · 07/03/2023 09:47

There’s some angry people on this thread, determined to make their own lives harder by not finding a seat before ordering at the counter. I can only assume wandering around with rapidly cooling cappuccinos has made them angry. I can understand that.

Reserve yourselves a seat! No one will thank you or think you a hero for not doing it! It’s the norm.

KimberleyClark · 07/03/2023 09:48

Doesthepopeshitinthewoods · 07/03/2023 09:43

Abhorrent? It’s common sense. If it’s table service, you’d have a point. If it’s counter service, it’s basically a canteen. What sort of a maniac would order and pay for food and drink without having somewhere to sit and eat it?

Show quote history

Exactly! What if you’ve ordered something that needs heating up and they give you a number on a stick to put on your table so they know where to bring it, and you don’t have a table to put it on!

Mortimercat · 07/03/2023 09:53

JoanThursday1972 · 06/03/2023 19:48

How can you do that though if you're alone?

Show quote history

If I am alone and I often am, then I assess the situation before I go in. If there were only one or two tables available then I would reconsider. I would either go and find a quieter cafe, or I would get takeout, or I would decide that I don’t need coffee and cake anyway. If there are plenty of tables free, experience has shown that they are unlikely to all be taken before I have time to make my purchase.

But generally, if I am with somebody, it is common sense for one or more to take the table and one person go to order.

Mortimercat · 07/03/2023 09:56

StressedToTheMaxxx · 07/03/2023 09:15

Yes but if you're on your own and you look through the window and see 3 spare tables, then you'll think great, I can sit down. But then if you're queueing and other people in groups/couples come in behind you and take up a table before you and they have even got served, leaving no spare tables by thr time you get your coffee, what then?

Show quote history

Well when you look in and see three spare tables, you also take a quick look at the queue and if there are thirty people in it then there is a fair chance those tables will be gone. However if there is only one person in the queue then you are probably good to go. It is just a little bit of a judgement call.

NotAnotherBathBomb · 07/03/2023 10:04

This isn't queue jumping. This is Darwinism!

xogossipgirlxo · 07/03/2023 10:04

I'm surprised this man took the risk and didn't reserve his seat before he ordered to stay in. Everyone does it, especially when it's busy. When it's quite empty, I don't bother.

NotAnotherBathBomb · 07/03/2023 10:05

Christmascracker0 · 06/03/2023 20:28

I thought this was standard practice?

If I’m on my own and there’s only one or two tables then I’d put my stuff there to ‘hold’ it. Or I’d go elsewhere.

Same. I'm not going to waste my time queueing if I'm not guaranteed a seat. Others are free to do the same

Deathbyfluffy · 07/03/2023 10:07

Veryfishy · 06/03/2023 20:38

I got really cross when this happened to me , and just stood at the till with my tray ( I hadn’t paid ) and said there’s nowhere for me to sit
I would have left my tray and gone , but luckily , someone left and a member of staff grabbed the table , cleared it and I paid and went and sat down

If it's a self-service cafe, so it's on you to find a table - not the poor person at the till who now have someone blankly staring at them with a problem that simply isn't theirs to deal with.

Reserve a table with a coat / bag, then get food - it's the way it's always done around here, and works for everyone.

SofiaSoFar · 07/03/2023 10:10

xogossipgirlxo · 07/03/2023 10:04

I'm surprised this man took the risk and didn't reserve his seat before he ordered to stay in. Everyone does it, especially when it's busy. When it's quite empty, I don't bother.

Reserve his seat? How? Why do so many MNers seem to think everyone is carrying 'stuff' that they can use to grab tables with?

I often only have a laptop bag with me if I'm alone and I'm definitely not going to leave that unattended.

If grabby fuckers didn't steal tables before being served, people in the queue would know what was available before they got their food and there'd be no issue.

Selfishly taking tables which people in front of you in the queue should have had available to them is no different to being one of the lunatics you sometimes see trying to stop people parking in car park spaces by standing in them.