Queue jumping in cafés

[JoanThursday1972]

I was in a queue buying coffee to take out today. It was practically full and in front of me was a man by himself buying a sandwich and tea to stay in, and one available table only.

Two women came in behind me, one swanned off and took the only spare table whilst her friend bought the drinks.

Basically they'd pushed in. I think it's extremely rude. I didn't see what happened as I got my takeaway coffee and left. I do hope he challenged them though.

I’m seeing a lot of people saying don’t queue if there’s no tables… What if there are a few tables when you arrive but by the time you get your order they’ve all gone because people behind you in the queue have claimed the tables? I’ve had this happen to me when queuing with my toddler - we’ve had no choice to claim a table beforehand as I can’t leave him unattended but there’s been three of four tables free when we’ve arrived yet none once we’ve finally ordered….

Nobody ever moved about with a toddler and no bag of spare snacks, nappies, toys, outfit etc. Put the bag down to save a table, and if it's near the queue sit the kid down with a book or toys too, better than a grumpy tired kid pushing at the person in front.

This

But then I’m doing exactly what I object to which is taking a table which the people in front of me in the queue thought was free when they started queueing 🤷🏼‍♀️

There are plenty of choices usually.
If we wanted to go for coffee we’d grab a table and my daughter would sit while I ordered. But she would need to sit and discretely give herself medicine that she wouldn’t want to do stood in a queue,… if I was alone I’d go elsewhere to a place where you can find a seat and have table service.

This is your misunderstanding though. It's a made up rule that obviously not everyone knows or is going to follow. I would grab a table without even thinking about this, as would many people (whether or not I was alone).

Is there a sign in the coffee shop saying 'please order before you sit down?'

You can't be pissed off with people for not following a rule that you just made up.

If it’s busy and there is a queue I would go elsewhere or get takeaway. I’m not lining up only to not to have to then stand around waiting for a table. If I’m with someone I will absolutely save a table while one person orders. It’s not queue jumping, it’s just making sure you have somewhere to sit before getting food.

Cannot believe this insane thread is still going. 😆

I didn't realise that this was even a thing before I joined MN.

I would never buy food and assume there was a table free unless the cafe was half empty when I came in.

If you are on your own or with kids, you go somewhere that is table service (or has loads of empty tables). If you are with someone, you get them to sit down while you order.

Why on earth would you buy food and then find there were no tables left. It makes zero sense.

Also some people need to sit down. My mum can't stand stationary for any length of time, so I will wait at the counter if there is a queue and order while she sits down.

I would have gone somewhere with table service, or somewhere with plenty of room. Seriously, this isn't rocket science at all.

If somewhere looks busy or could fill up very soon, I'd go somewhere else if I were on my own or had a small child with me. Or get the food and drink and take it to a park bench or something.

I didn’t say I couldn’t understand. Merely a difference of opinion in terms of what is polite. Please don’t assume intellectual superiority if somebody happens to take a different view to yourself.

It is a made up rule but it’s one I happen to think is polite and courteous to others. I’m not pissed off with anyone, I’m just sharing my perspective.

Also four tables in a cafe is quite a lot! Hence why we queued. I didn’t deliberately stroll into a rammed cafe and expect a table to magically appear. The queue grew behind us whilst we were in line waiting.

I'm with you all the way on this @Lemonademoney

If there isn't a sign indicating that you should buy before finding a table then you can do what you want.

Standard is find a seat first as far as I'm concerned. Some shit places make you buy first but I'm not going for a sit down somewhere I might not be able to sit

They've ruined cafes near me.
I agree with you about the table - it's the norm.

I just think you can't expect other people to behave a random way you've made up in your head because you (subjectively) think it's polite.

It's not a law or even a known rule. It's just some people's entirely subjective opinion of what is 'polite'. Anyone who is upset/ annoyed that other people don't unanimously behave that way is ridiculous.

This happened yesterday to me. I had ordered in a cafe (had drinks and waiting for food to come out). One table free in the place (my sister was sat at it and I asked her to save it but my voice was too quiet and she left before I could get to it.) My family were just behind me but not in the cafe yet.

I make a beeline to the table, a father and son coming in rush to beat me to the table. They get there maybe half a second faster than me. I don't care, I sit down at the table. I'll share the table if I have to. The dad huffs off. I already had my drinks, I think I had more claim to the table than he did. By the time he gets his drinks another table opens up. He gives me daggers, I smile at him.

Sometimes you can't bags a table in advance if you have little ones or are by yourself. That's why I sit down at tables if other people are still in the queue. I think if you've paid for your food or drink your moral claim to a table is greater

I can't believe if it annoys you so much that you've contributed, thereby keeping it going ...

@spelunky Exactly! I read the Op and some of the pp to my dd’s grandparents. And they thought it was odd to view getting a table while someone else was ordering, as queue jumping.

It’s been a standard thing that has always worked without any problems for generations.

Why should a minority of people who have decided to take some kind of “moral” stance based on their made up rules, change something that works quite well for the majority of people?

It’s not polite or courteous of others to expect everyone in a group stands in the queue together just because you feel entitled to a table first. Especially when there are elderly people in the group or disabled people in the group (which isn’t always obvious) or a heavily pregnant woman etc. etc. etc.

We have a high supports needs disability centre in the local area who bring small groups of clients to the local cafe. Would you be pissed off if they arrived and set the clients at 1 or 2 tables while one of the support workers queued to order? Would you be pissed off that they jumped the queue?

Remember disability isn’t always visible to others. You have absolutely no idea why some people would need to sit down while somebody else orders for them.

You are standing in the queue to wait your turn to order food or beverages. You are not standing in the queue waiting for your turn at sitting at a table.

And some people on this thread have said that they just plonk themselves down at a table someone else is sitting at because they think that they are entitled to it! No, you are not entitled to it and you are being rude. Be polite and ask nicely.

They can't change it, that's the whole point, there's no rule one way or another unless cafes decide to enforce something by putting signs up about it.

It's simply a different way of behaving that we have to muddle along with, there will never be a law about this, so it's a daft thing to get upset about.

But equally there are plenty of places saying find a table first and order.... A small place called wetherspoons do this!

I don't stand well... So if theres more than me, i always find a table and grab it... Or ask tje staff to reserve it for me! To avoid the situation you described!

Those who refuse to sit down, how do you cope when the cafe needs a table number?

You apply a little bit of judgement to the situation. How many free tables, how many people in queue, how busy is the town centre that day, how often does a new person come through the door etc etc. The situation can be assessed very quickly. I am firmly in the camp of one person taking the table whilst the other queues, but I often go alone and in this case, I have to use my judgment and I won’t go in if I think I might not get a table.