Adult bullying young child

[Changingdetailasthisisawkward]

Any advice much appreciated. In a difficult situation with a Mum who lives on the same street. She has slightly older DC, who have been involved in a lot of friendship bullying - overtly, we caught them doing it multiple times, other parents have clearly been upset by it. The older DC will play with one child and push all others away. These DC are also really wild and tend to play with younger kids on the street, roughly (too often ends in other kids leaving in tears with actual visible injuries). The Mum just stands by, literally just sits there as chaos breaks out. Other parents will pick up their children and leave.

We spoke to our DC (7) to make sure they have other friends and to spend time with the other friends, so if there is any falling out they would not be left out. We have also withdrawn a bit from the Mum, as meeting up was difficult. We have not spoken about it with anyone on the street, so nothing we have said to an adult has got back to her. Our DC did say to their DC that he wanted to play with other children.

The Mum is now wading into kids playing (there is a green area where they play without much supervision) and actively encouraging other children away from our DC. Also blanking him and making things awkward for him at a recent school event - he went with a friend (very local/within sight of the house), she brought drinks and snacks for his friend and said there was no room for him at the table. His friend tried to share, but he was upset and I went to see why he was outside and he wanted to leave. He was very upset so I did not go in.

The mum has form with adults (blanks several other mums at social events/on the street) and stands by while her DC bully other kids, including quite a vulnerable boy in the same class. If we say hi to the Mum she now blanks us.

Any advice on how to tackle this - I am struggling with how inappropriate this is? If she was just being difficult to us I would not be too bothered. I hate to see an adult effectively trying to bully/exclude a young child, who has been on the receiving end of some of the bullying. We have started doing more after school activities to get DC away from the situation. Also arranging play dates at a soft play some distance away with kids who are not so local.

We have also withdrawn a bit from the Mum, as meeting up was difficult

I am baffled why you were ever getting together with her.

As for the issue, you or your partner need to be present in order to advocate for your child and stop her nonsense. No drama no swearing or shouting.

She sounds like a complete headcase.
the school event; I really would have raised this with the school.
as for them playing on the green, I would go when your kids playing and supervise. Every single time. Like fuck would she intimidate my kid like this!
Could you speak to the other parents?

No I wouldn’t speak to the other parents
it will just add fuel
focus on YOUR child and advocate for them. Basically op… stop being a spectator in this bullying of your young child on your doorstep

Clearly the parent has issues.

You need to either go out every time, stop your child going out, or find a way to align with other parents.

Sounds a nightmare.

This is why I didn’t let my children play out alone. Either supervise or have other children to yours to play.

I just could not relax knowing my 7 year old was playing outside our home / garden with limited supervision.

Distance yourself and child from this family. If your child plays out on the green area, go there to supervise (#protect) him. Do not interact with the woman or her child, she is looking for opportunities to be vile. If anything happens at school events, report it.

Why is your 7 year old playing out without supervision? Before you question the parenting skills (or lack thereof) of your neighbour, you may want to question your own.

You shouldn't have let him go to the school event alone. 7 is well too young for the independence that you are giving him. Have you got younger/disabled children and couldn't go for some reason? It's simple, supervise him and tell her straight if she tries any shit in front of you. Stick up for your child.

The neighbour is out with the children

the op isn’t

Thank you for the replies - keeping distance as the situation is unhinged, also looking at how to address it with the school. Will keep up the play dates as going to the rec has become miserable and awkward. Having a few playdates with some of the parents of kids who have had problems with her kids, so will see how they have approached it.

To clarify, he is not playing out alone! I am always out when he is on the green area. I walk him down there and back, am not staring at my phone. Some slightly older children do come alone, so it is not a highly supervised place. If it was I am sure the mum would not try some of the stuff she does. The mum will come down and literally try to call some children over even if they are already playing a game. I don't just stand by, but don't want to effectively end up in a verbal tug of war over the kids. Hence we have found other activities so DC is not lonely at home.

I did not go to the school event as I had a chest infection and was dosed up with antibiotics, so the friend's mum took the two children and was joining shortly after (her eldest - 17 - was there as one of the supervisors, so the two young kids were not just out alone). Of course I would normally have been there and should have been. As soon as I saw them outside (he is too young to be alone, so I watched the entrance until my friend was there) I wheezed down the road to see what was up. He was upset and wanted to go and I was not in a fit state to go inside and talk to anyone. Absolutely agree @Ponoka7, 7 is too young to be at an event alone and it was a last minute plan as I did not want DC to miss out because I was ill.

Not sure how this became a pile-on @vegrocks @pjmasksitsthepjmasks that I was letting DC play out unsupervised, as the original post was describing what has happened at the rec and the behaviour of the adults - both the mum and the parents of younger kids.