Sorry but this might be long. I am 32, have a DH and we have 3 kids, aged 6, 2 and 9 months. I am just about to finish maternity leave with the baby and I can't decide if I should quit my job or try and go back. I would need to give my 4 weeks notice by Wednesday at the absolute latest. I won't have to repay enhanced maternity pay as I have tagged my remaining annual leave on the end of my mat leave so that covers the period of time I need to "return" to work for to avoid paying it back if that makes sense.
I will try and lay out the facts:
I currently earn £1200 a month, working night shifts, 3 on and 6 off.
DH earns about £40k and works 5 night shifts Mon-Fri (possible by the fact that I am on mat leave, he did not previously do night shifts). He can change to day shifts but will earn less and the finish times can be unpredictable i.e he could get stuck somewhere far away so won't be reliable for pick ups if needed. He's also been approached regarding a job in a different industry that is standard office hours, but again, will pay less salary wise but has the opportunity for good commission. I could work my night shifts around that as he did those hours previously.
My night shifts would mess up his shift pattern and if I work 3 on 6 off, depending on the days it falls on, he can't always work 6 on 3 off because of regulations regarding his working time. We would also never see each other even if he could do that.
We have recently moved house and my work place is now 50 mins away as opposed to 15 mins previously. No work from home options.
I could try and switch to day shifts (but I would lose a large part of my shift allowance) or go full time, but that's not 100% guaranteed to be possible and there are some changes coming up at work that I'm not thrilled about either so I don't particularly WANT to go back (but will if necessary).
I have a qualification that I have been trying to get a job in, but it's proving difficult without the experience to back it up. They're either self employed roles or they want 1-2 years of experience minimum, that I simply do not have. I can take a lesser role but still relevant to the qualification but not doing the actual job if that makes sense, obviously the pay will be quite a bit less but I will get the experience that I need.
I would need to be earning £££ to cover the cost of 2 lots of nursery fees, plus breakfast club and possibly after-school club for eldest, due to hours of jobs I'm looking at being the standard 9-5. I'd also potentially need to travel 30-45 mins. It's possible to earn £££ in the job I'm looking at eventually but when starting out the salary will be on the lower end of the scale and commission will also be slow to build up.
We could get rid of my car at the end of March and that would free up £350 a month in car payment and insurance. If I then get a suitable paying job, I can get another car relatively easily/quickly without the need for a deposit. I don't need the car otherwise as I can use DHs if I need to during the day, we walk to school with DS, most other things are within walking distance too (supermarket, doctors etc), and DH works nights when I can't go out anywhere anyway.
2 year old will be eligible for 30 funded hours come September so I could hold off on looking for another job until then when our childcare costs will be lower so it will be more worthwhile. We do not have ANY help with childcare. I'm also worried about how they will cope with going from being home with me all the time to full time childcare.
Our outgoings are as low as possible, we've got rid of or managed to lower payments for near enough everything since we moved. I think we could just about manage on DHs wage alone. But it will mean things like take aways, days out etc will be limited for the next 6 months-ish. There are some fun and relatively inexpensive things to do locally and we are having our very large garden completely redone, so when the weather is warmer in a few months the kids will literally live out there. But, we've been skint before, we were stressed and absolutely miserable.
I'm worried about if any urgent expenses come up and us not being able to afford it. With the house, or car etc. We were in a lot of debt a few years ago and we have now spent all our savings on moving house and the rest is for the garden and driveway to be done (the garden is currently too dangerous for the kids to go out there and it's important to us that it's done properly). We could potentially scrap the driveway work as we already have space for 1 car out there and if we get rid of my car we don't need the extra parking space so that would save a bit of money that we could put away for emergencies I suppose.
I am really nervous about doing this. I've worked since I was 16 and have never been unemployed before. I also don't want to stress DH out by him being the sole earner and feeling all that pressure. I've never had the desire to be a stay at home parent, it was not the plan, temporary or otherwise. I like the security of having a job.
For what it's worth, DH is trying to encourage me to go off sick for 6 months so I can still get paid. But, I get really stressed with the idea of being off when I'm not actually sick. I'm an honest person and can't lie, it just doesn't sit right with me to do something like that. But he said he's ok with me quitting.
What would you do in my situation? Would you try and make it work? Would you jack it in? I'm really torn. Please help me make a decision.