(TLDR at bottom)
I’m a low income mother and have to rely on ‘old banger’ cars due to a ruined credit score from financial abuse.
I have two kids and one goes to a school for special needs, there isn’t a bus route to it so a car is a necessity. A couple years ago my car gave up on a school run and was irreparable so my DM offered to lend me her car until I bought a new one as she rarely drives. I thought this was incredibly kind, I was reluctant to accept at first but was desperate with the school runs and had a tax rebate due of 2k so I could buy a new car in about 3 weeks time.
After a couple of weeks of using DM’s car I was hit by a wagon, it took the entire front of the car off. I had no serious injuries but it’s fair to say it was a near fatal accident if you seen the half a car that was left. The accident was the other driver’s fault, thankfully the kids were at school, but I was mostly really upset that it was in DM’s car.
Our insurances didn’t cover the cost of the car, so I promised to use my rebate to buy her one of equal value (which she said was £800). The money came through and she seemed really happy to be choosing a new car saying she never liked the other one anyways so it ‘worked out well for her’. She chose one from a FB add that was £1,100 it was £300 over budget which is a lot of money to me, but I felt like I owed her.
I had just met my DP back then and he said he would go check it over after work and haggle the price, even pick it up for her. He messaged the seller and arranged it.
While DP was still at work I got a phone call from DM saying she was stood with the private seller and could I transfer her £1,100 now so she could buy the car. She was too excited to wait the 2 hours for DP to finish work. She knows nothing about cars so didn’t check it over and didn’t question the asking price… but because I felt like I owed her this debt I sent all the money thinking at least my obligation is over with and I can find some peace now.
I bought myself a car for £600 with what was left.
This is where the problems start though, it turned out that the car she bought was awful. It was dropping to bits (and worth about £700 max!). If my DP had gone to see it he would never have bought it, it turned out the sellers were local scammers whose Christmas’ had all came at once when DM didn’t try to haggle. They’d even got a dodgy MOT.
It then came to light that the old car which ended up in the crash, she had been given for free. My Dsis had gifted it to her when she upgraded cars as it was headed for the scrapheap, it looked worth £800 at face value but had a lot of mechanical faults.
She has complained to me endlessly about this new car. She never drives it, it’s always broken and she says how she can’t wait to get it scrapped and get a nicer one.
AIBU to think that it’s ungrateful to say these things to me after I gave her all that money to buy it? I don’t begrudge replacing the car at all! But if she was patient and waited for my DP she could’ve had the one I got for £600 that’s never broken since.
Morally I’m glad I replaced the car as it would have bothered me… but I AIBU to wish she’d stop saying how useless it is when it cost me a huge sum of money?
TLDR: DM let me borrow her car but it was wrote off in a crash, I sent her the money for a new one but she hates it and complains all the time. AIBU to think she should stop telling me how much she doesn’t like it?