Okay, this is long, so bear with me!
My husband and I have been married for six years. We’ve never had the easiest of relationships with his family - particularly his dad and brother, and their wives - but a couple of years ago it reached the point where we felt we had to move away. It was very difficult, especially as my husband’s grandmother had given us financial help in the past, and withdrew this when we moved (we believe on the basis of heavy pressure from FIL and BIL).
DH’s grandmother died last year and we went back for the funeral. I think others thought this might be the start of us building bridges, but to be honest, things have only gotten worse since. My DH has had a LOT to say about the way FIL and BIL have treated him in the past, and it did NOT go down well.
Anyway, FIL is hosting a big event in May and everyone keeps asking if we’ve been invited. We didn’t know what to say - we had no idea what FIL was planning to do, and how we’d feel either way. Anyway, we’ve just received a Save the Date card for said event and it’s thrown us into turmoil.
On one hand I want to encourage DH to go. We don’t get on with my father’s side of the family either, so we’re hardly bursting at the seams with extended family. But on the other, if we do go, won’t that just be giving in? I feel like we just can’t let them win!
Also, I’m a like really private person - in fact, I’ve had quite a battle over protecting my privacy - but part of me just really wants to announce to everyone that we’ve received this Save the Date and then keep them guessing as to whether we’ll accept. Imagine, everyone will be waiting to hear what WE have to say! Including FIL, BIL and their awful wives! I know it’s not exactly mature, but I just love the idea of everyone knowing we have them on the hook.
WWYD?