“Thank you” etiquette

[Namachanga]

Just trying to understand expectations here so looking for input. No one is upset or angry or hurt or put out (as far as I know) so just gathering opinions.

DS is 3. He’s young in the year so has been to a lot of 4yo birthday parties since September. We moved schools in September because we moved house. At his old school, when we attended a birthday party, parents would thank for gifts (either at the party, a message in WhatsApp, when you saw them a few days later at drop-off/pick-up, or a thank you note out into their bag at nursery etc). It’s not anything I thought much of. DS never had a birthday party with other children from his school because of Covid and then we were in the middle of moving house for his 3rd birthday.

Since September, we’ve attended at least 10 birthday parties for children at his new school. We’ve never once been thanked for attending or for gifts - not even a generic message to the whole group chat. I always message in the group after (where the invitations are sent) and say thank you for having us and happy birthday etc.

Given that the two schools are so starkly different. I’m not sure what’s a normal expectation here. Would you expect to be thanked after a child’s birthday party or not?

Sorry, I forgot to turn off voting.

I've never sent thank you notes for gifts brought to a child's birthday party as I (and my child) would have said an enthusiastic thank you at the time.

If they receive gifts via post or someone else passing them on, I'd write a little note or text (depending on who gave the gift and whether they use text or not).

As a parent of an attendee, I'd usually send a text to say thanks for having DC, they had a lovely time etc

My child thanks for the present (if given,no issues if not one) and we thanks for coming as leaving

Once the party is done that is it

When we go we give the present when we arrive and enjoy the party then leave with a thanks for having us

This is all thanks we give or expe t to receive, how on earth do people keep track of all the party invites, presents, and the thanking ritual amongst all the normal things life/family other friends things

I mean a bit of that for these all class parties thing as well as the op

Usually a few parents will message the chat and say thanks for the party. Then at some point the birthday child parent will message to say thanks for coming and thank you for all the lovely presents, and maybe post a photo or 2. That’s about it.

We'd say thank you when a present is handed over, then say 'thanks for coming' when we give out party bags.
I'd normally posts a WhatsApp saying thanks to everybody for coming and the lovely presents, DC had a great time.
Definitely no individual thank you messages or written notes anymore, I thought at nursery age that was expected but at our school most parents agree it's not required and it's just not the done thing.

I always made a note of what every parent gave and sent a WhatsApp message. Bit of a faff but worth it. But others don't necessarily. I appreciate receiving a thank you. Wouldn't expect a note.

Seems a bit of a mixed bag. We haven’t even had a verbal thank you for gifts - just put them on the table as we go in. We’ve had a couple of parents where both sides say thank you as we leave. I always say thank you for having us when we’re leaving, usually we don’t get a thank you for coming. It seems there’s no clear etiquette so I won’t worry about any faux pas then.