3 year old hugging everyone

[abus]

Is this cause for concern ?

My 3 year old is extremely sociable. She just goes up to children and tries to play with them ( often she goes quite close to them, which I'm trying to get her to stop doing ). She also hugs children a lot.

Yesterday there was a mum sitting in the soft play hugging her one year old and my DD joined in. She also just kept trying to hug the smaller children ( she has a little baby sister who she hugs a lot at home ).

I've been told that she's very kind at nursery when another child is upset, but they haven't said that she hugs everyone otherwise.

I'm of course trying to teach her boundaries and that she can't just invade children's personal space like this

We of course showed her and her sister in affection at home.

I hope it's all normal and she'll understand boundaries asap. Other kids usually go along with it, but shyer kids may not like it of course and it's just inappropriate. She has a thing about getting everyone to play and motivating shyer kids to start playing with her, which is sweet of course.

I googled it a bit and there are some concerning things that came up, so just freaked me out. Is anyone else's child like this ?

Thank you

I think it might be a bit unusual if she kept trying to hug random adults, but at 3 if she just wants to hug other small children/cute babies it may well just be her wanting to make friends in a 3 year old way.

Does she have enough language skills to be taught to say "Hi, my names X - do you want to play?"

I think Covid probably also hasn't helped - I also have a 3 year old and last year he plonked himself down on a random dads lap at the playground (I was right there chatting to the dad!) I think he hadn't realised yet that we were allowed to chat to people who weren't family/close friends.

(The man looked vaguely like DH which probably confused him more!)

Yes she tells kids ' come on let's play ' ' come on let's go ' and then she'll run off etc. and the kids usually follow her. Or she'll say ' wana play ?? '

' come on guys, let's go '... it's very funny.

She is not shy at all..

Anyone else ?

Maybe try some role play. My kids all hated having their personal space invaded. They weren't shy and they were buggy at home but didn't want to hug other kids - on the plus side they never got bits 😅
I'd worry your daughter might end up getting shoved or even hit. Hugging someone when they don't want to be hugged can come across as aggressive.

Teach her to ask 'Would you like a hug?' first.

Yeah, my DD has a girl like this at school ( 5yo) who hugs her without permission constantly and my DD actually found it really upsetting.

Hi OP

So same as you, DD 3 years old. Loves hugging, mainly children.

Im not saying this is the same for your daughter but we suspect our DD maybe has ASD or is neurodiverse in some way. She was referred to the
ASD assessment team by the community paediatrician.

My DD hugs regardless if the recipient says no or shows they don’t want it. Theres been a very small improvement in this behaviour recently but she does not respect and seems oblivious to others boundaries.

She is just very loving, very socially motivated, but doesn’t get others emotions a lot of the time.

There are of course other reasons why shes been referred for an ASD assessment such as being hyperlexic from 20 months but I would say at present this is the only real troubling behaviour. I do worry about if it continues how others will react.

Ds used to hug a lot. In fact one his school reports (I think year 1 or 2) said something like, "if someone is long in the classroom then ds will have hugged them."

I think it was part of his sensory issues (he's got ASD, fairly recently diagnosed), which possibly isn't what you wanted me to say, but I don't think at 3yo it's anything to worry about.

I wouldn’t be worried about it - all kids need to be taught social skills so if she’s able to learn over time (with a bit of direction/teaching) to ask before she hugs and not talk to strangers etc I don’t think it’s a big deal.

She sounds absolutely lovely x

At what did your ds stop doing this? Right now feels like it could never stop with our little dd bless her . She is a determined little cuddler!

My now 10 yr old was like this when she was young. She was determined to get all children to play with her, all in a very kind way, also very tactile. She learnt little by little as she got older about boundaries and now as 10 yr old age has fantastic social skills, I would say far better than many adults. She makes friends easily, keeps them, she also can read other people very well. Her friendships are hugely important to her. So no I doubt it's a cause for concern you just have a daughter who enjoys been with other children, she'll figure it out, and probably a lot sooner than many other children.

I would also say enjoy it, she sounds lovely.

Thanks for all the lovely replies. She definitely needs to learn her boundaries. I'm very much trying to teach her in a gentle way, at every opportunity.

I've noticed though when kids don't reciprocate, she does back off. But she needs to learn to approach things differently.

In terms of ASD, it could always be a possibility.

It has not been raised yet by nursery etc. but I guess she's still young. She absolutely loves a good tantrum, I must say. Her tantrums are always based on her wanting something she can't have etc.

She can be a bit of a pain to get ready in the morning, if she's not in the mood. She's strong willed, that's for sure. If it's ASD, we will find out I guess !

He's 15yo now and has stopped (as you might expect!) but I would say he was fairly tactile until he was about 12 or 13yo-much older than the girls were when they stopped wanting regular hugs.
I think the hugging everyone stopped some point in juniors, probably about age 8, possibly 9yo.

She sounds lovely OP.
Just teach her to say 'do you want a hug?' Just to make sure, because not everyone does.
3 is such a lush age. I miss mine being 3!

I could have written this myself! This is my DD. Confident, social, has a 4 month old sister and is a very caring kid. Loves to make friends and is just an affectionate kid. I just remind her that everyone is comfortable with different things so have to ask permission before hugs/holding hands. Also we just reaffirm body boundaries. I think different kids just have different ways of expressing themselves.

She sounds absolutely adorable. Her joining in the hug at soft play made me smile.

Oh doesn't she just
Yes smiling to myself here to
😊