To be disgusted at MH provision?

[TooBigForMyBoots]

An amazing woman I knew died this weekend. No doubt it will be attributed to suicide, but it wasn't really.

She died because there was no hospital place for her. She suffered BiPolar disorder. Diagnosed 20 years ago. For over 4 weeks she, her GP, family and partner tried to get her into hospital as her condition worsened.

She needed urgent medical care, stabilisation and a meds review. She didn't get it and now she's dead because...

No Fucking Beds.

I am so sorry for your loss OP. I am certain my son would not have died if there had been care for him. It is completely unacceptable in a so called developed country. It is devastating for everyone.

YANBU and it is so sad.

Sorry for your loss

Yanbu, the whole system is broken and mh care provision is so woeful.

Sorry for your loss OP.

MH provision has always been very bad, in my opinion.

This is so sad; I'm so sorry

Mental health provision is poor but it's not just down to Tory cuts I was a mental health nurse for years the cuts started in the late 90,s and continued in the trust I worked for ,I was redeployed twice in between 2005 and 2006 due to cuts ,it's just got worse .

There isn't MH care, there's just a list of people needing care. And that's my perspective from trying to get support for a teen from CAMHs. There's nothing.

I’m so so sorry. I’ve seen this first hand too. The NHS doesn’t care about letting mentally ill patients die. They wash their hands of them especially if their are resistant to hospital (which is obviously a symptom of the illness in most cases). Probably because they know that most people who threatened suicide won’t actually go through with it and the ones that do they won’t be directly blamed for. This is no criticism of the hardworking staff, just the whole system and lack of beds available. It’s absolutely disgusting.

I work in healthcare and there’s a lot I could say about this but I’ll just leave it at saying I agree with you op. I’m sorry about what happened to your friend.

I have a suicidal 12 year old who has been supported by CAHMS in the form of a piece of paper with a list of apps on it.

So yeah. You're exactly right.

It's dreadful heartbreaking. I have a DD who after being told she needs urgent treatment has now been on the waiting list for 18 months.

I also have a friend who is a care coordinator in our local mental health team and she is now having therapy herself after she tried and tried to get help for one of her young patients but kept getting told to send him "elsewhere" as he didn't meet their threshold. He sadly died and she has had to go through two years of investigations and coroners court.

I wrote to my Tory MP about the lack of mental health support. She basically offered to help me jump the queue by calling the local team and making a fuss on my behalf. I declined because I didn't think that was right at all. We are going private out of necessity as DD has deteriorated and is now self harming.

The number of kids I know needing mental a health support since the pandemic is frightening - I know my daughter's problems were aggravated by the school lockdowns.

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend - I agree that provision is utterly woeful.

My dd had an episode of extremely poor mental health last year. We were referred to CAMHS but their main goal seemed to be to discharge asap - literally nothing would have been done to support her if we hadn't been able to pay privately. Private ASD assessment, private therapist, private prescriptions, home schooling with private tutors (plus I had to give up work to care for her, so loss of my income on top). I am horrified that families are in the same boat as us but are unable to access private support and am determined to do something to help (though God knows what, as it isn't just a lack of funds, it is also a lack of professionals - we had to fight to be seen privately). It is horrendous, so many kids left to struggle and suffer.

We are having a private ASD assessment too, but after that who knows what will happen, as they send the results to CAHMS.

I’m so sorry you lost your friend, OP.

But you’re sadly absolutely right. It feels like this government is now going for survival of the fittest and screw everyone else.

You also have a problem with staffing levels in that nobody wants to do the job.

It is terrible. It is a badly designed the system, it's lack of funding and lack of trained staff. I do also think sometimes it's attitudes. Maybe because the people working in the system develop compassion fatigue or something.

MH provision is so poor that unless someone is sectionable it's practically non-existent.

I have a friend who has been sent from one service to another, a few sessions of counselling here and there, but nothing that comes close to helping her. She waited months for an appointment with one service thinking she was actually going to get some actual help, but is was yet another assessment, after which they decided she didn't meet the criteria for their service, and now she's back to square one again.

And as for CAMHS, their provision seems to consist of assessing kids over and over again but not actually treating them. I'm convinced they exist to piss people about until they're 18 and not a CAMHS problem.

MH provision in this country is horrendous and so many people are utterly ignorant about this fact. I remember during COVID seeing posts from people with various PTSD responses to face coverings posting on here and being told "if you genuinely can't wear a mask then talk to your doctor and they will arrange counseling/therapy for you so you can". I think I might have laughed out loud at the screen at that - my local CMHT at the time was just not taking new referrals, existing patients in acute crisis were being discharged with extra diazepam, and staffing levels were being cut. No one was getting special tailored therapy for mask aversion. I remember another post here where someone posted because they were unsure about their partner spending a lot of time with a suicidal ex and were told "that's not his job - if someone is suicidal then the NHS should be providing 24 hour suicide watch" which is ludicrous.

The reality is that right now there is next to nothing.

That's exactly what I was told about CAHMS off the record by the head of mental health services of an NHS board who knows exactly how shit they are.

I'm a mental health nurse in the NHS and can agree it's woefully inadequate and has just been getting worse and worse. Morale is low which is going to add to the crisis as staff leave. Funding has been cut to the bone.

It feels impossible - even if these services were sufficiently funded there are simply not enough trained professionals to provide the service. Private doctors and therapists are bursting at the seams and are often unable to accept new referrals. That aside, the cost will be prohibitive to the majority of people - my dd's private ASD assessment cost £3000 and her therapist is £80 per week. What is also unbearably frustrating is that nobody ever seems to question why so many people are unwell - nothing is ever done to try and adjust the environment we all live in, resilience is championed, poor mental health stigmatised.

YANBU, I was referred to the perinatal mental health team's psychologist when DD2 was 5 days old. She's now 10 months and I've been told I'll automatically be removed from the waiting list when she turns one as they only work with women in the first year after birth. So the waiting list is longer than a year, but you're removed after a year (at the most, if you're referred when your child is a few months old, you'll be removed from the waiting list after much less than a year). A few months ago I had very clear plans on how I would commit suicide, and the perinatal team knew this but all they said was that I was on the waiting list. And then in the next breath would say that realistically I'd never see anyone.

I'm so sorry about your friend, OP.

I'm finding this thread really upsetting - so many people struggling and without any hope of being helped.