AIBU to wish I had more money now and less when I'm older?

[Billsandmorebills]

I can't think how to do things differently. I don't have any spare money and house is run down. In ten years when children have left (or longer I guess!!) I will hopefully have enough equity to move and be mortgage free or very close.

Its disappointing that things are so tight during their childhood and will be more comfortable when they are adults.

Is this how it is for most people?

I know what you mean. I work part time, and people always bring up pensions. It is right to be aware of things like this but equally I don’t want to miss out now because of some vague, unspecified point in the future!

I think it’s completely logical. Barring windfalls, assets and equity are built over time, and kids cost money. How would it work any other way?

We struggled when the kids were young for many years, they didn't really have a foreign holiday until the eldest were almost teens. I used to lay awake at night worrying about paying the mortgage and we were both exhausted from working around each other to save on childcare costs. Things have got better now we are in our fifties although this is largely due to dh inheriting some money and being able to pay off the mortgage. Kids are late teens/ early twenties now but we have a lot of different expenses like helping with Uni, driving lessons etc for the kids. Once they are no longer dependent on us for any help for Uni, we will help them with housing deposits although there won't be much help as there are four of them !! I don't really expect to have any significant money to myself until they have all left home and we can downsize, maybe in ten years time, then we will be retiring and our pensions really aren't going to be great so not expecting to ever have a lot !

I see it's logical but I still wish it was otherwise.

Assume paying off mortgage made a big difference Babyroobs?

It must be nice to be able to continue to help them. That helps me feel better things are so tight now.

Well assuming you want to retire later in life you’ll need to have a lower mortgage by then as your income will be a lot lower?

I see it's logical but I still wish it was otherwise

But that’s a bit like fantasising about winning the lottery. It’s a futile way to think.

I'll hopefully downsize/move to a cheaper area and be mortgage free/smaller mortgage, probably soon after children leave school. I'll still have a good 10 years left working.

I'm not sure it's futile thinking about it.

If mortgage rates weren't as they are I did think of trying to remortgage to release some equity to at least make the house nicer. Might be possible in the future, or there might be something I haven't thought of.

Think of it as your security once they’re grown means they won’t need to worry about you. I see it as a kindness to my children to ensure I take responsibility for my own old age.

I'm going to be in utter poverty when I'm retired, no pension so I'll be living off just the state pension.

I'm trying to enjoy life while I can, although I'm not rich, I'm comfortable and hopefully I can work until I die (which hopefully will be 70s rather than older!)

Life hasn't been easy, so I can't take on the stress of worrying about the future!

I feel the same way.

Actually I feel like I want to have more from life with my children in a lot of ways, like why go to school from 4-18 when they can jump right into college and university as an adult.

When my husband retires at 57 we’ll finally be able to start spending his huge private pension that his family paid into for him and the thought of the kids being 16-18 by then makes me feel so desperate and sad.

Until then we can barely keep the car running. No holidays abroad for us. Makes me sick.

@Abba123 I feel my children's childhood is a rush of school childcare buses and being a bit skint! I hear you on the car as well! I'm going to try make time for more relaxing together.
Maybe it helps to think you can treat them when they are adults. The next generation will have it even tough financially too.

@ponyinmud sometimes living in the here and now is happier.

@museumum didn't occur to me they would feel responsible for me in old age. The generation above me in my family retired 10 years before I will with good pensions. I know retirement can be really tough for some.