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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

3 day weekend - to think this what is needed to have a decent quality of life?

241 replies

Whatifthegrassisblue · 04/03/2023 02:43

Where does the time go? AIBU to think there is not enough time? By the time you catch up on chores, spend time with family, catch up with friends and try and have some time as a family as well ....it just doesn't happen. I was thinking about it ...1 day for chores and "life admin", leaves the other 52 days to split between time as a family, your extended family and friends. Let alone just wanting to have a day and chill and do nothing, or go on a holiday. I feel I am doing life wrong 😕 Does anyone else feel this way or AIBU?

OP posts:
Cozytoesandtoast00 · 04/03/2023 07:37

I work 3 days a week and honestly love it.
I work in a very high stress NHS role and there is no way I could do it full time.
People in my team are regularly burning out and having break downs. It's that bad.
I'm very productive when I work as I always feel refreshed and ready.

Cupcakequeen75 · 04/03/2023 07:37

I worked a 4-day week for most of my working life and loved it.
It was a full-time role but my employer was progressive in this way and so I started this in the 1980's. On the odd occasion I worked 5-days (OT) it just felt so wrong and the weekend too short.

Totally agree that it gives an ideal WLB.

susiesuelou · 04/03/2023 07:39

I work in a very high stress NHS role and there is no way I could do it full time.

Same. Most of my team are part time as well.

Flittingaboutagain · 04/03/2023 07:39

I have worked four days (not compressed hours) for years pre kids. I agree with you all here that it seemed the only way to have some balance. I found I was forcing myself to stick to plans that I had been looking forward to but when the time came dreaded having to make any effort for because of exhaustion. Now with caring responsibilities too I can't imagine working full time. Life is so short I really feel something has gone wrong that so much of it is spent working.

mumda · 04/03/2023 07:39

How far do you travel to work? How much time is wasted traveling?

redgirl1 · 04/03/2023 07:41

I work a 4 day week and it does help with life balance. Though as you say you are never switched off and I will answer emails from my phone at points during the day, I feel guilty about making people wait for a response. Sometimes the laptop goes on too. But I can get a haircut, go shopping etc if I need to and the majority of the time I’m doing DIY/ cleaning/gardening. I don’t know when I’d get anything done otherwise, DH has a hobby that takes him out the house on Saturdays most of the day and so it’s always me and the kids. I honestly think I’d burn out without my day off…or divorce!

CatMattress · 04/03/2023 07:46

The 40 hour working week wasn't really set up for modern families thoigh. Was it? It was designed with either a single, unattached person in mind or with one working parent and one stay at home parent to do all the life admin. When you're a single parent or two working parents and having to cram everything into evenings and weekends there's very little time to actually live. It's all just work, one way or another.

I really enjoy my job and my colleagues but I am just so tired. It's affecting my work and my home life and my mental health. I would give my right arm for a 4 day week. Despite loving my job I keep thinking about longer term applying for a role at a 4 day week company or hoping I can increase my salary enough to go to 4 days a week with the pro rated pay and still afford my life.

FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 04/03/2023 07:47

My full time is 35 hrs a week. I do 35 hrs a week and am considering doing this compressed into 4 days, 8 to 5 which is doable.

DaftyLass · 04/03/2023 07:49

I work a four day week and I love it. It makes it easy to book appointments, and make plans, when you know you have a free weekday every week.

Hedonism · 04/03/2023 07:51

Meredusoleil · 04/03/2023 05:38

And that's a big part of the reason I have stayed working part time 3 days a week since dd1 was born! Nearly 14 years now.

Same here!

Our DC are heading out of the primary school years but now our parents are starting to need more support. We are lucky to be able to afford for me to work part time.

arethereanyleftatall · 04/03/2023 07:51

Yanbu.
I don't think it's possible to have the following things simultaneously- young kids + 2 full time jobs + good quality of life. Unless you have lots of help with cleaning etc
Something has to give.

I work 20 hours a week even though my children are in secondary, and I know I am very very lucky to be able to finance this. My life is already very full, but if I worked 40 hours per week; my hobbies would have to go, my weekends gone, it wouldn't be fun.

DifferenceEngines · 04/03/2023 07:54

I love my 4 day week! By the time I factor in savings in childcare, outsourcing stuff, and tax, I don't think I'm financially worse off for it, either.

follyfoot37 · 04/03/2023 07:55

Whatifthegrassisblue · 04/03/2023 04:04

I agree with you. I feel we went really wrong somewhere as a (collective) society 😕

Show quote history

Where did 'we' go wrong? During which years/decades/century did we have a work/life balance?
When we had to wash clothes by hand, beat carpets, prepare and cook all day?
When we sent kids to work aged 9?
When we were the property of our father/husband and could be left without a penny if your husband left?
When we couldn't vote/ earn our own money?
When we didn't have access to contraception/abortion?
So do tell where it all went wrong and then think on about your life opportunities and think how tired you might be if your home had just been destroyed by an earthquake, or if you live in a country where women are ignored/abused...

Bluetitnest · 04/03/2023 07:55

You are not wrong op

Whycanineverever · 04/03/2023 07:58

Oblomov23 · 04/03/2023 05:11

I still can't believe the 4 day week hasn't taken off, or isn't being 'demanded' / requested by more people. Big companies like google and Microsoft have trialed it successfully. Covid changed things. It made people more self aware, more realising they had to look after themselves, more working from home and realising this was possible. So alongside that I'm surprised that the request or interest in the 4 day week hasn't grown as much as I thought it would, specifically because of covid events.

We have monthly town halls where we can ask the leadership team questions. People are raising this this and we are also a big multinational.

Withnailandeye · 04/03/2023 07:59

I do 30 hours over 3 days and the quality of life now is just so much better, I’d consider moving up to 4 days when my daughter starts school but I’ll never go back to 5 days. Ultimately I think the key for me has been having an employer who is supportive and actively engaged in helping employees to work in a way which suits both the individuals and the company.

rookiemere · 04/03/2023 07:59

Thing is most people want a 4 day week, but 5 day salary. I've made the sacrifice to make it happen and am very protective of my non paid time.

twinklystar23 · 04/03/2023 08:00

I work a 3 day week. A lot of our clients have significant mental health needs, it's a charity so pay is low. However as I am above the threshold so pay full tax and NI contributions. After deductions I would earn a whopping £150 pcm I save more as I can use my time to manage my financial affairs (reduced car loan by almost 50 % )
I love my job, most of the time, have great colleagues and could as I feel at the moment work past retirement age. Worked my socks off with kids, so enjoying having more time.

Wonderwoman333 · 04/03/2023 08:01

A three day weekend should be standard, I think working full time is very hard with all of other life demands to meet.

I have only worked full time for 2 years before dcs and it felt like I didn't have any time to do everything.

lightlypoached · 04/03/2023 08:04

I've recently started a 3 day working week.

Absolutely transformative.

My health is better , my mental state is better. And I'm more productive.

Wish more people could afford to do it.

I think that a standard 4 day working week would be a good idea and the evidence of recent large scale trials seems to support that.

Whitewolf2 · 04/03/2023 08:05

Ive worked a 4 day week since dd1 was born and I went back to work, and I’m not planning on changing it too soon even though kids are at school now. That day ‘off’ is the only chance I get to get the house back to a reasonable state and do something for me like meet a friend for coffee or go for a swim.

DinosApple · 04/03/2023 08:09

I genuinely think it would benefit society and the economy as a whole to have a three day weekend. And I definitely read a BBC news article recently supporting that.

I worked full time before DC, then part time for a few years, then 6 days a week (that was awful but unavoidable as it was our own business). Having done that really helps narrow down what is important in terms of quality time off.

Now I do a 30 hour week as a teaching assistant and dinner lady. Obviously the money is crap but I was very happy to take the hit after we sold up. I love the job. It's not easy, but the children are great and it is fun. Plus never being more than 7 weeks away from the next holiday is a godsend!

Sadly I need to earn more money which means longer hours, but I am hoping to get away with 4 days a week.

AlisonDonut · 04/03/2023 08:10

I did a 4 day week, compressed hours so starting an hour earlier, having a shorter lunch and finishing later, in the job I did before I took early retirement. It was a high profile, multi million £ funded project [and all my responsibility to run and audit], and although I often had to move my non working day around, I would never have had the same energy without my one extra day. And I don't even have kids. Or caring responsibilities.

An extra day to get your head together, bake another loaf, spend more time at the allotment, just away from spreadsheets and problem solving gave me so much more energy every week.

Whydoitry · 04/03/2023 08:12

I agree and have worked a four day week 9-5.30 (obviously on 80% pay) since I was 30. I hate my job and it allows me to do fun hobbies and keep on top of housework. I love it. Never want to go back up to five days although it would be nice to have a job I actually enjoy too.

I do appreciate I'm privileged to be able to afford it.

EveSix · 04/03/2023 08:17

I do think that a 32 h week would be fantastic for those who can access / negotiate it. A PP remarked: "...but someone would have to pay for it." I don't quite understand -surely it just means you drop 20% in salary to reflect a 20% drop in hours? The person 'paying' for the reduction in hours is the employee who takes a drop in salary, surely? Nobody is asking to work fewer hours for the same salary? So either salary reduction or compressed hours; the employee absorbs the impact in both scenarios.

I work 4 days as a teacher as there is no way I can get everything done that my role requires if I work FT. Sadly, compressed hours isn't an option, so pay is pro rata. I essentially take 20% less pay to be able to WFH on my day off, but it's keeping me sane.

That said, I'm currently looking at my schedule for my 'long weekend' and it consists of 2x 5 hour stints of whole school curriculum planning today and tomorrow, and then marking and regular planning for a few hours on Monday. Granted, this isn't every weekend, but a regular enough occurrence for it to be annoying. The 'day off' is definitely always a WFH day.

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