Found out I’m too fat

12 replies

Mum2awesomekidsyah · 03/03/2023 21:04

Just found out after many years that my ex husband wasn’t to sure about ever dating me as his friends thought I was too fat and he could do better.
My friend has only just told me.
I can’t stop thinking about it.This would have changed my whole life with him and if I had known this information back then I would never of even carried on dating him.I feel awful.I feel embarrassed and I just feel so sad that is this how he thought all these years and it makes sense to me why he never bothered.
I am with a new lovely man now,but I now feel embarrassed with my new man.As I’m a lot curvier than I was back then.I just want to hide away right now 😕why am I feeling so hurt by this still.

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DelphiniumBlue · 03/03/2023 21:11

What "friend " told you that?
If it was true, they shouldn't have repeated it. How do you know that's what ExH actually thought, rather than what his friends thought?
Even if he did think you were fat, he still thought you were worth marrying. And now you've pulled again, even if you are bigger than you were, you've obviously got something going for you!
Don't let this so-called friend ruin what you have with your new man.

LeilaDarling · 03/03/2023 21:13

Ask yourself WHY your friend told you this “information”?

WeAreAllSpecksOnARock · 03/03/2023 21:13

Your friend doesn’t sound much of a friend to have told you that.
There is also the possibility she has said it to knock your confidence, you don’t know for certain your ex said those words. People lie unfortunately.
Even if it is true, your new partner is not your ex, don’t let it effect how you feel now.

EarringsandLipstick · 03/03/2023 21:15

A) your friend is not one
B) this information is certainly inaccurate, probably untrue & has no significance many years out of context

Please don't let it affect your current relationship 💐

5128gap · 03/03/2023 21:18

Well there's a lot of ifs there, isn't there? If your friend is accurately recounting a rumour dating back to when Adam was a lad, if the friends really said it, if their opinion mattered to your ex (presumably not given he did date you)...
None if it matters anyway now does it? It's a different time and different age with different attitudes to weight (when I was young an old size 12 would have been fat. These days it's all about the curves) and you're with a different man.

NotTooOldPaul · 03/03/2023 21:24

I am a man, and I can't think that any man would marry someone who he did not like. I agree things can go wrong later but when you get married you fancy the person.
If he thought you were too fat he would not have married you. He might have had sex with you if he was a worthless uncaring person, but he would not have married you.
Stop worrying and be proud of who you are.
You wrote I am with a new lovely man now and so enjoy being with him and stop worrying.

AnneLovesGilbert · 03/03/2023 21:25

She is no friend. That’s fucking horrible.

NurseCranesRolodex · 03/03/2023 21:27

Not a friend. Your 1st DH wanted to be with you because he was attracted to you and just had some wanky friends, or did he...... It could all be down to this friends attempts to drag you down. Maybe out of envy or jealousy. Enjoy new man and embrace curves. Don't let these old wounds be opened up by an undeserving person.

Northernsouloldies · 03/03/2023 21:27

AnneLovesGilbert · 03/03/2023 21:25

She is no friend. That’s fucking horrible.

Exactly, what good could come of saying this. She ain't no friend.

LittlePinkPill · 03/03/2023 21:28

With friends like that, who needs enemies?!

Original poster

Mum2awesomekidsyah · 03/03/2023 23:24

Thankyou all so much for your replies.I have listened to you all and I won’t let it effect my new relationship 😊

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Original poster

Mum2awesomekidsyah · 03/03/2023 23:25

No I don’t know why ?

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