Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give DH a lift

31 replies

Kelliesmile · 03/03/2023 19:19

Sorry for the long post...

DH quit his job before Xmas and has only just started to seek work as he says he is now bored! Nothing to do with the fact I have been picking up overtime and doing 50+ hours a week for the last 2 months to just keep the house going.

He has been offered work local to us, within walking distance but has also been offered work with travelling distance (a little more pay than the local jobs, but once travel has been deducted he will only be about £50 a month better off)
Hes taken the job involving travel instead of one in our own town!

So here is the issue, DH does not drive and he has asked me if I could take him and fetch him all next week as I'm off on annual leave. I said that it's a bit unfair to ask me that as I have worked non stop the last couple of months and I really need a rest as I'm exhausted.

We have looked at public transport and he would need to catch 2 busses both taking 20 minutes each but he's says that's "stupid" when I'm going to be at home doing nothing.

This jobs starts at 7am so I would therefore need to get up at 6am ish, that is earlier than the time I get up for my own job!

Ive said to take the job local but hes says no cause its less money (£50 a month)

Hes now ignoring me and I'm now feeling bad for wanting a lie in on my weeks annual leave.
AIBU

OP posts:
DuvetDownn · 03/03/2023 19:21

YANBU.

woodpecker2 · 03/03/2023 19:21

No YANBU tell him he has to get used to it for when you can’t take him.

Nanny0gg · 03/03/2023 19:21

What's his plan when you're back at work?

EL8888 · 03/03/2023 19:22

No. It’s annual leave week not chauffeur your difficult / lazy husband around week

RandomMess · 03/03/2023 19:22

YANBU

He doesn't drive he needs to take that into consideration when he chooses a job.

DH only ever asks for a lift to his hobby if he can't cycle there and there is a train strike or similar and he can't cancel going without losing ££££

Perhaps once a year at most. Sure I offer at other times.

passtheolives · 03/03/2023 19:23

He chose the job as an adult he can work out how he gets their

i wouldn’t take him but I also wouldn’t put up with someone quitting their job and making me pick up the slack

Dogman · 03/03/2023 19:23

He seems like an idiot. So 2.50 extra a day for a commute 1.5 hours? Not a chance I’d give him a lift. Ever.

FrenchandSaunders · 03/03/2023 19:24

What has he been doing since Dec! I would t take him.

mzpsmummy · 03/03/2023 19:25

YANBU. If he doesn't drive for £50 extra he's wasting 40 mins to and from work that's not worth it! What will he do once you're back at work..

RunTowardsTheLight · 03/03/2023 19:25

He's got a cheek to be ignoring you after everything you've done for the past 2 months! How will he get to work after your week off?

SaltedCaramelIcedLatte · 03/03/2023 19:26

Your husband sounds very selfish! You shouldn't be feeling bad about anything!

Your husband is an adult and responsible for getting himself to and from work.

onemorerose · 03/03/2023 19:27

YANBU. You’ve been working hard to support the family and now have to give up your lie in on AL to support him again. He should get used to the commute he has chosen not be asking more of you.
I assume he likes this job a lot more to give up so much extra time for £50 a month?

Timeforachangeisitnot · 03/03/2023 19:28

Him ignoring you sounds like a win actually.

He chose to quit his job, he has now chosen to take the job that is less convenient. So let him deal with it.

With my DH, there’s a lot of give and take, and I don’t feel taken for granted.

That said, I neither live with your DH, nor do I love him, so ultimately it is your choice. But you are not being unreasonable.

Leeds2 · 03/03/2023 19:30

If it were me, I wouldn't be getting up early to take him, but I think I would probably pick him up if it was convenient. I would though be worried about him getting to and from the new place once he knows you won't be around to act as a taxi, as I suspect drop off will be something he thinks you can do before going to your own job.

MamOfFive · 03/03/2023 19:32

YANBU, what he going to do when your back at work? Quit?

Your not £50 better off either as it'll all go on petrol/travel!

Channellingsophistication · 03/03/2023 19:32

It’s unreasonable to expect you to take him and pick him up every time. You can always pick him up if it suits 0and he can make his own way there

coconutpie · 03/03/2023 19:37

So he's basically been on a 2 month jolly, lazing around, doing fuck all, while you have been working 50hr weeks and now as soon as you have annual leave, he gets a job but expects you to get up at 6am to ferry him about. And now he's ignoring you because you won't? Fuck that. YANBU.

WhereYouLeftIt · 03/03/2023 19:40

What on earth keeps you with this waste of space?

Undermyumberellaellaella · 03/03/2023 19:40

Nope, I wouldn't be taking him anywhere. He's old enough to get his own way to and from work.

People have to take time off work for different reasons but making you do extra because 'he couldn't be bothered' is taking the piss.

LaurieFairyCake · 03/03/2023 20:01

No, he's chosen the job further away because he doesn't want a job Hmm

No one takes a job 2 buses away for £50 a month extra - the buses would be more expensive than that

This is all a fucking game so he doesn't have to work

GET RID OF HIM

blackbeardsballsack · 03/03/2023 20:03

The audacity of him!

Couldyounot · 03/03/2023 20:04

Christ no. Tell him to get the bloody bus.

caringcarer · 03/03/2023 20:11

He's just spend 2 month's doing sod all every day whilst you have worked 50 hours plus each week. Now when you finally get a few days off he wants to take away your lie in every day. I'd tell him no you need to rest. He needs to get used to his self elected commute every day. I think he will rue the day he chose not to work locally. It was his choice now he must face up to the consequences of his stupid choose. Don't give in on this. If he's not speaking to you he won't be able to ask for more help from you. He sounds a waste of space. I'd not tolerate this selfish behaviour.

FairFuming · 03/03/2023 20:36

He chose the most awkward job, he can sort his own transportation. He sounds like an inconsiderate arse

billyt · 04/03/2023 08:30

And by the sounds of it, he'll make sure he wakes you up anyway.

What a twat.

Swipe left for the next trending thread