Too pushy or helping them in the long run?

[Worriedandwingingit]

I have a lot of childhood regret that I never stuck at the things I loved and ended up as an adult having not many interests and also think I didn’t have the learning experiences that go along with team sports etc.

Now having my own kids (9 and 5) I really don’t want this to be the situation for them but conscious this might make me really pushy and make them continue with clubs and hobbies that they aren’t fussed about. But sometimes I think they are being lazy and not knowing what’s good for then 🤪. Be good to hear others approaches and opinions

That is your regret though, it doesn't mean your children will feel the same when they are older.

Give them the opportunities and encourage them - if they consistently don't want to go then I definitely wouldn't force them. It has to be their choice.

I've recently picked up one of my 'failed/quitter' activities I had as a child - piano. That grade 2 or 3 I got to (can't really remember now) certainly made it easier as an adult to try again and I'm up to grade 6 now. I think it would've been pointless for my parents to force me to keep going when my heart wasn't in it as a child.

I would also look at these things you loved as a child and think about picking them up for yourself now or if that is unrealistic when you children are a bit more independent. I think it would be good for your children to see that.

My son tried lots of things but ultimately didn't stick with any of them...swimming got to country level but then quit; loved beavers but not keen on cubs so quit; a few weeks at football; a few weeks at cricket; a couple of years at hockey; a bit of tennis; a few music lessons...probably other things I've now forgotten!

I always told mine they had to see the hobby out until the end of when I had paid until or the group thing that was being worked on because it’s not fair to let others down. Quite often they still kept going after when I said they could quit. But they were never absolutely miserable at the hobby. I’d maybe have done something different if they had been.