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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Feel like everyone is always giving me shit and no one says or does anything nice !

7 replies

seeyo · 03/03/2023 16:59

I think I'm feeling sorry for myself, but does anyone else feel like sometimes everyone just gives you a hard time and chips away at you ?

For example, my DM chips away at how I do things a lot. She seems to think that because I was a smart / perfect child, I should also be a smart and perfect adult. She often says that she can't believe how I turned out with certain things, because I was such a great child. I don't know why, but it really hurts, like deep within me, when she says stuff like that. Almost like, she made me good and I undid it when I grew up and had my own autonomy.

My MIL made some joke about how my kids might finally grow up to become the profession I studied but didn't pursue. ( I have a good career anyway and actually chose not to enter the profession out of choice, because I had some longer term work experience in it and just didn't like it ). I know it was a joke, but I don't know, it just got me somehow.

My H is also always finding things I'm not doing well. Yesterday he was yet again having a go at me for not taking enough pictures. Apparently I never think to take pictures and so we don't have enough pictures of ourselves. His family are very snap happy ( the women ), but I've never been like that and just stay in the moment. It's a silly thing but he always lays into me about it. Same with other things he finds to nit pick about. Any decision I make is always the wrong one really.

Back to my DM who we've seen a fair amount lately. She's always finding something to say that I am doing wrong with my kids. My toddler screams too much and is too messy and watches videos too much. The toddler is at nursery too much and too young to be at nursery anyway apparently and needs to stay home with me ( I work )...The baby is too needy and difficult. The drawers in my kitchen aren't tidy enough. The list really does go on.

Other family members are piping up behind my back about how they don't respect that others are raising my kids because I work and how much help I get ( paid for ) and how they've just coped so much better with everything compared to me.

The list really goes on. I'm feeling a bit down in the dumps so perhaps I'm just seeing things from a negative viewpoint. But I very much feel like people never have anything nice to say!

OP posts:
JassyRadlett · 03/03/2023 17:05

Oh god OP that sounds infuriating. Fuck them all.

Your husband's nitpicks would annoy me the most. Why doesn't he take photos if he wants them? Why doesn't he do the things he's complaining you don't do?

What utter shit stirring twat is reporting back to you things people are saying behind your back?

And tell your MIL 'God I hope not, I nearly made that mistake and only escaped by the skin of my teeth.'

And as for your mother - does she bring anything positive to your life? Any reason to allow her to say such horribly hurtful things? And what would happen if you said 'I don't know what went wrong, I've always suspected bad parenting but I guess we'll never know.'

dottymac · 03/03/2023 17:06

I feel you. I've come upstairs for a little cry on my own because one child is moaning about what I made for dinner and the other behaved inappropriately at school today so got in trouble. This is truly the hardest time of life, people kick you when you are down. So yes, it sucks and I have no advice because I feel equally empty and down, but sending you hugs.

JassyRadlett · 03/03/2023 17:06

Ahem. Sorry that was really tangy but I'm bloody outraged on your behalf! If you are anywhere near London I've had a very annoying week and will happily come and give all of them a piece of my mind.

JassyRadlett · 03/03/2023 17:07

Tangy? Ragey.

NotTooOldPaul · 03/03/2023 17:07

I see a few things in your post, you work, you earn money, you use that to pay for childcare and other help.
Well done, you are doing great.
Your mother thinks your kitchen drawers are untidy, she really does need to get a life.
All the other things people moan about are personal choice, I take loads of photos, my wife takes hardly any, my choice and her choice, not an issue.
Hold your head up high seeyo and be proud of who you are.

seeyo · 03/03/2023 19:20

JassyRadlett · 03/03/2023 17:06

Ahem. Sorry that was really tangy but I'm bloody outraged on your behalf! If you are anywhere near London I've had a very annoying week and will happily come and give all of them a piece of my mind.

It sounds like we could both do with a glass of wine! Thanks for not completely slating my post and showing some compassion.

OP posts:
seeyo · 03/03/2023 19:21

dottymac · 03/03/2023 17:06

I feel you. I've come upstairs for a little cry on my own because one child is moaning about what I made for dinner and the other behaved inappropriately at school today so got in trouble. This is truly the hardest time of life, people kick you when you are down. So yes, it sucks and I have no advice because I feel equally empty and down, but sending you hugs.

Sending you hugs back. I'm sorry you've also had a bad day. If you can, do something that you enjoy, no matter how small.

OP posts:
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