Is my mum an alcohol

[mnnewbie12]

Advice pls my mum drinks a glass of wine every night and sometimes more which I never really saw issue with however now whenever we see each other even if for coffee she will wanna go somewhere that does alcolhol no matter time of day.

We aren't close nuff for me to ask outright yet. Do you see issue? Could she be reliant on it

I think rather than trying to work out if your mum has a drink problem could you perhaps try to find out why she drinks? A small glass of wine with dinner is normal in some houses where as in others people just drink at weekends but it adds up to more than a glass a night.

Could she want the drink when she meets you to help with nerves?

One glass of wine a night does not suggest an alcoholic to me, no. Alcoholics generally cannot stop once they start, I am one (in recovery) and know many (through my meetings).

Alcoholism isn't necessarily about the total amount of alcohol consumed but the reasons behind it.

Choosing alcohol over coffee during the daytime is definitely a Red Flag for alcoholism. Combined with evening drinking, do you think your mum is using alcohol to manage her feelings?

If you insist on sticking to a cafe with no alcohol licence, would your mum happily go along with that or would she refuse to meet up there?

Whatever the outcome, you need to understand that nothing you do or don't do will change her behaviour.

It's not just with me no. She also has to be taken home by people when she's goes out with them in evening. It's not a one of either.

Sorry OP. Your second post definitely sounds as though your DM has a considerable problem with alcohol but the only person who can do anything about it is her. Whether you can cope and how you cope in the meantime is up to you.

Alcoholism is not about the amount; it is about what happens when.

If your Mum has to be taken home a lot because of her drinking she does have an issue with it

Amount wise - no, not really IMO. what happens though is she doesn't have a drink? If she's somewhere that doesn't sell alcohol? What happens when she's forced to be 'dry'?

What the PP said. It’s not necessarily the amount of alcohol it’s how it affects the person and the impact on those around them. If she is routinely getting so drunk she has to be taken home it does suggest a problem.

Al-Anon (for families of problematic drinkers) might be a good resource for you.

The amount definitely comes into it.

True

However some people can drink a lot and never get into trouble.