How to raise nursery issue

[Whattodonut]

DD3 is on way to being potty trained. She's doing really well at home except when engrossed in a game but reminders and prompts mean we rarely have accidents. She does need to just be reminded after meals and before we go out.

We still have her in pull ups as Nursery are having a bit less success. I'm not sure why as when I have managed to speak to them about prompting her they do and then it sort of falls off again.

But yesterday she had a poonami at nursery in her pants (she always does them in potty here). That's fine. It happens. But when I changed her at bathtime she had a mark in her pull ups. When I check she had poo in all the crevices. Like they had treated it like a potty poo clean up not a nappy poo.

The issue is drop offs are 'super speedy- essential info only' as this is the best way to get DD in and happy. I don't do pick ups and DH doesn't find these conversations easy (prob due to language reasons). Should I call and say something today? Or leave it.

TL:DR nursery didn't clean DD properly after an unusual poo accident. I won't see them again until 1 min drop off on Wednesday. Should I call and say something.

I wouldn't call. They more than likely supported her to do as much as possible herself.

She can't do anything herself yet. And I'd hope that after a nappy explosion (enough they changed her trousers) they would do the whole job.
If I had ever filled my pants with poo I'd be in the bath no having a quick wipe.

I'd call up and mention it as part of a bigger conversation about potty training, it doesn't sound like they are supporting her or being that helpful in terms of getting her to the potty/toilet regularly. If she's 3 there will be plenty of other kids either in pants full time or currently training so it shouldn't be difficult to prompt them to go potty.

Wiping/cleaning up is a hard skill to master so they should still be helping her out and not leaving her all dirty.

Well just practically, nothing is going to get resolved if you don't communicate about it. The only person likely to be aware of what happened at the nursery is the member of staff who cleaned up the accident. And whether you want to just make them aware it wasn't completely clean and tell them they needed to do more, or to ask why that was the case, or to complain that it wasn't done and ask what they can do to ensure it's better next time, none of that is going to happen if you don't communicate with the nursery about it. A casual mention during handover in five days time would be the most minimal way to do it, if you're not that bothered and just want to flag the matter. If you want to make sure something actually happens and that supervisors/managers are aware, then phone or email sooner.

They can't give her a bath though, can they?

I'd email the manager and just say DD came home still dirty with poo after an accident, could she ask the staff to make sure she's clean.

If she's 3 and in a preschool room then they might not have a changing table available to them and it is a bit more tricky to change a child standing up or on the floor in a cramped toilet space.

Could you maybe take a few days off work and really crack toilet training before sending her back to nursery?

Thanks.

They do have a changing table. Its been one of my bugbears that they seem to not be taking her enough and then putting her into nappies at some point in the day. She only sometimes volunteers that she needs to go. We usually just stick to a schedule at home.

I do feel a bit like I've let her down on potty training. Her siblings more or less did it themselves but she has gross motor delay which means balancing can be tricky for her so I've cut her some slack.

I'll call and make it about wider toilet training issues.

Thanks for all the comments. All have made me reassess what I need to do with her. I will double down this weekend!

TBF to the nursery if your DC is reliant on being prompted and reminded the she isn't really "trained"

Drop all the reminding at home so she takes ownership of her own body?

I'd be very unhappy - making sure DC are clean after a poo is one of the core things with little kids. I'd send a friendly text to the room number (if you have it) along the lines of "probably didn't realise, but..." and then if it happens again raise it more seriously.

It's the only issue I've ever raised with our nursery after a one-off - there were lots of new staff so I told the room lead in case there was someone who needed training. They were very receptive and adamant (more than me) that it shouldn't have happened.

Oh I know. But not really sure on next steps!

I spoke to them and they apologised briefly and we talked about general toilet training. So right thing to report

If this is a one off I’d leave it. They may have had to rush to something more urgent hence the quick clean up. If it becomes a reoccurring issue the raise it. We all makes mistakes from time to time