Granddaughters Birthday.

32 replies

tillytoodles1 · 02/03/2023 21:00

I am a widow with a son and a daughter who both live a few minutes away from me. My daughter can't have children and my son has a daughter from his previous marriage. He now lives with his fiance who has two adult children from her marriage.

It's my granddaughter's birthday in a few days but due to her mum having made plans for the day, they're taking her out for a meal tomorrow, night along with his girlfriend's children and her daughter's boyfriend but I'm not invited. I'm really upset but he doesn't care. AIBU?

OP posts:

fishonabicycle · 03/03/2023 16:28

We've often taken the kids out for birthday meals without inviting grandparents? Why should he have to?

drpet49 · 03/03/2023 16:29

Hbh17 · 02/03/2023 22:18

Grandparents being at grandchildren's birthdays is something I only ever hear about on this site. In real life, most people live a couple of hundred miles away from grandchildren and it would never occur to either "side" that they all have to get together for a kid's birthday.

Complete opposite in my spcial
circle.

Nimbostratus100 · 03/03/2023 16:34

arrange something separate with your grandaughter

Its no big deal, this is just a household going out to eat somewhere, a household you are not in

Yesthatismychildsigh · 03/03/2023 16:37

I’m guessing the child would rather eat with the others than the grandmother who makes it all about her. Why on earth would someone believe they’re entitled to an invitation.

Teeturtle · 03/03/2023 16:37

tillytoodles1 · 02/03/2023 21:36

I asked him why I wasn't invited and he replied that he would then have to invite his sister and her husband (they have no children) and I said so it's alright to invite her kids and the boyfriend but not her grandma or her auntie and uncle? He said if you keep going on then I'm not going to talk to you so I hung up.

I would be very annoyed if you spoke to me like that too and it isn’t going to get you anywhere. They decided upon a meal for their immediate family.

SeaWitchly · 03/03/2023 19:32

I agree with PP saying stop making this about you. You are not entitled to an invite to their family night out. If your son invites you, he may feel obliged to invite his sister and her partner as well. Also, it's not always as simple as there being room in the car to take you along as well. Imo offering lifts comes with extra hassle of confirming time, going out of my way to pick said person up, them not always being ready to go when I arrive, having to drop them home again. Sometimes we are up to making these extra arrangements, sometimes it is just not possible. Accept that, move on gracefully and make your own arrangements to celebrate your granddaughter's birthday with her.

InstagramBitchWife · 03/03/2023 19:49

It sounds like they didn't want it to be a big extended family thing. Just the couple and children.

It really does change the dynamic when you mix different levels of family, and conversation becomes more difficult. I prefer seeing different branches of family separately personally.

In any case, getting shirty with him wasn't likely to get you an invite was it?

If granddaughter is an older child/teen can you not contact her directly and ask to go for lunch?

Flip

1 2