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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I am a teacher and have had to sit and listen to 25min of abuse today

354 replies

ThrallsWife · 02/03/2023 20:22

That's all, really. I told them how their kid behaved. I was not the only one. But I got the brunt of the parental rant, saying they disrespected me as a person and critisising every interaction I ever had with their child. I held it together well in front of them, but I sought the Head of Year afterwards and broke down in tears in the 10min I had between then and the next appointment (which were meant to last 7min, not the 25 those parents took).

Thank God I am quitting soon.

But here I am, having a big drink so I can sleep, too exhausted to do much else, because I was in school from 7am to 7.30pm.

IANBU. But I needed a rant.

OP posts:
StephanieSuperpowers · 02/03/2023 20:24

You're not being unreasonable. Nobody should have to put up with that at work.

EVHead · 02/03/2023 20:24

This is partly why so many are leaving the profession. It’s awful. I’m glad you’re getting out.

Greywhippet · 02/03/2023 20:24

YANBU and sorry this happened to you.
no surprise teachers are quitting

Emmamoo89 · 02/03/2023 20:24

Yanbu x

MissBPotter · 02/03/2023 20:24

Thats totally awful and not right at all. What are you going to do instead? I’m a teacher too, had some
delightful parental abuse myself this year but yours sounds worse!

Sherrystrull · 02/03/2023 20:25

I'm sorry you've had this experience. It's unacceptable. I hope tomorrow is a better day.

Name999999 · 02/03/2023 20:25

Honestly how do teachers do it? It’s like you have to put on an Oscar winning performance everyday. So stressful

Illstartexercisingtomorrow · 02/03/2023 20:26

Sorry OP.

Am frontline healthcare, face similar difficulties as the teaching profession. Today I came home and told my family I just don’t like people anymore.

So many entitled, selfish and just plain nasty people. Wears you out eventually.

HollyGolightly4 · 02/03/2023 20:26

YANBU. Enjoy the drink, plan an easy day tomorrow.

DanziseDanzi · 02/03/2023 20:27

Another reason why I'm considering leaving after almost 10 years in thus shit show of a country.

Wavingnotdrown1ng · 02/03/2023 20:28

Really sorry to hear that - I’ve been there too. It’s so horrible and you still have to do other appointments afterwards.
Solidarity and hugs xxx

doodlejump1980 · 02/03/2023 20:28

Where was you head of year to move those parents on? At our parents nights, the hoy/smt are prowling and no parent dares go over their time. Sorry you’ve been let down by your smt. And a massive fuck off to those twat-parents.

HerRoyalNotness · 02/03/2023 20:31

There are some total arseholes about! I don’t get it, if my kids teachers told me about negative behaviour I’d be ranting at the kids not the teacher! I’m always thankful when teachers contact me flagging something, I can’t get my head around these people that come at it from the opposing angle

Original poster
ThrallsWife · 02/03/2023 20:32

Where was you head of year to move those parents on? At our parents nights, the hoy/smt are prowling and no parent dares go over their time.

No idea where senior leaders were (think the Head went home), but the HOY was bogged down with appointments. This is a very tricky year group.

They reassured me what a fine job I was doing. They hate the fact I am leaving soon, because I am good (I got the promotion to prove it, too). But the bad behaviour, which was always there but has got so much worse since Covid is tipping me over the edge at the moment.

Thanks all, I will go to bed soon, just trying to come down from the adrenaline rush.

OP posts:
DoubleYolker · 02/03/2023 20:32

I’m so sorry to hear this. We’ve just been to my kids parents evening and I left feeling so much admiration for the teachers. I work in healthcare and try to remember that most patients are really nice. It’s just unfortunate that’s the dicks spoilt it for everyone - making your jobs miserable, and leaving the kids short of teachers 💐

Pleaseaddcaffine · 02/03/2023 20:33

I don't know if it helps but for evry one wanker parnets there are 20 who truely appreciate what you do for their kids.
My sons teacher has helped him massivly and given him support with his motor skills, she bloody amamzing and I am so happy he has her in his life.

Intergalacticcatharsis · 02/03/2023 20:33

I really think there should be a law for this kind of thing. Like there is in the NHS and signs up everywhere, to not abuse our staff. And hefty penalties.

Sorry you had a bad day! However, rest assured that most of us parents really value our DC’s teachers and have huge respect.

In our schools, we sit in the hall and a TA rings a large bell every time there is a change over for time. Much better system.

Restinggoddess · 02/03/2023 20:33

When they get personal, they have lost - it’s their last card to play and shows the banality of their attitude

Unfortunately these comments stick and all the other positive comments from other parents get forgotten, which is a shame - try to recall the positive comments - sadly they probably feel a lot better after dumping all their negative stupidity upon you.

The other thing to remember is - you have done nothing wrong. You have done your job.

Have a good evening- there will be others who know what a great job you do - don’t let the idiots get you down

SallyLovesCheese · 02/03/2023 20:34

I once had a parent wrote a letter to the head saying they thought my teaching was "poor". No idea how they decided that, seeing as how they never actually saw me teach and their daughter did very well in her Year 6 SATs. But the exact wording of their letter has stayed with me for more than a decade.

I'm just trying to say, OP, that some parents are dicks. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I hope you are relaxing now and have some support at home.

CharmedUndead · 02/03/2023 20:34

So sorry you had to listen to their aggressive rant.

I have twice before had to end meetings with parents who were being abusive. I said something like, I see we will not resolve this between us. You should take this up with the head. Her email is on the website.

It did work both times but of course it depends on the situation and where you are and how safe you feel.

I hope you get some sleep.

DevantMaJardin · 02/03/2023 20:34

YANBU Flowers and I can confirm there's life after teaching. 😊

Headabovetheparakeet · 02/03/2023 20:35

I really think there should be a law for this kind of thing. Like there is in the NHS and signs up everywhere, to not abuse our staff. And hefty penalties.

I agree with this. I can't believe parents think it's ok to behave this way towards teachers. Shocking.

xprincessxjanetx · 02/03/2023 20:36

Oh the kind of parents who have perfect darlings for DC and could possibly do no wrong. I know the type. Horrible, vile attitudes and it doesn't take a genius to work out why their DC is behaving badly if that is the examples that are set to them.

Murdoch1949 · 02/03/2023 20:38

Some parents are absolute fools, believing everything their child tells them. The best thing to say about them is that they will get payback in years to come as their darling children turn on them, as they will. People with no respect for teachers are the same ones who abuse waiters, GP receptionists and leave their bins out all week (random).

MichaelFabricantWig · 02/03/2023 20:38

So sorry to hear this, what awful people. No wonder their child has turned out as they have with those parents