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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To switch DS's school..

34 replies

prettyraindrops · 02/03/2023 20:18

DS school is about 250 yards up the road, so location ideal. He's had a lot of teachers in the time he's been there (he's year 1) and the school last year got an inadequate ofstead rating and as a result got made to an academy and had an interim headteacher put in place.

His teacher last term was good, I felt he was learning so we said we would see how things went with the school. They have since changed teachers and shuffled the classes.

My son has been hit and kicked 3 times now. We spoke to the headteacher and she basically said as the child in question has some kind of special needs it's difficult, they are trying to get support but there's a waiting list and basically she wouldn't blame us for taking him out.

The nearest school I really love for him is 8 miles away.

AIBU to move him?

OP posts:
Christmasbahhumbug · 02/03/2023 20:20

If you can get there I would move him. Is it a primary or an infant school? Ie will he have to move again in a year and a half?

Original poster
prettyraindrops · 02/03/2023 20:28

@Christmasbahhumbug No it's a primary so he can go there now and stay until secondary school. We can drive there and it starts a bit later than his school he's at now so we wouldn't actually need to leave much earlier than we do currently x

OP posts:
towelsand · 02/03/2023 20:30

100 % move him

FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 02/03/2023 21:02

You only get one go at Primary. I'd move him

Original poster
prettyraindrops · 02/03/2023 21:07

I feel so guilty uprooting him from the friends he does have. But I just in my Heart thing he'll thrive better at this school and hopefully there won't be the violence there is at this school.

OP posts:
Original poster
prettyraindrops · 02/03/2023 21:08

Violence there is at his current school*

OP posts:
WandaWonder · 02/03/2023 21:10

I don't disagree with your thinking but you can't guarantee it won't happen at the next school, and if he doesn't make friends and doesn't settle or has issues there then what?

WandaWonder · 02/03/2023 21:10

Also if there is violence I would call the police

Hankunamatata · 02/03/2023 21:12

8 miles is a fair chunk of travel. I'd go back to the school and ask how they are going to keep your child safe.

Pinkypurplecloud · 02/03/2023 21:14

In every school there is the chance a disruptive child (or two, or three) may be in your child’s class. By all means move if you’re unhappy, and it doesn’t sound like a great school in lots of ways, but be aware you cannot guarantee your child isn’t going to encounter disruption, hitting etc in their next school.

Does the other school actually have a place?

Original poster
prettyraindrops · 02/03/2023 21:15

We've spoke to the headteacher and she just said they're already doing what they apparently can to keep him safe. They need more support to help deal with the child but she doesn't know how long it'll be until they get it.

OP posts:
Pinkypurplecloud · 02/03/2023 21:15

WandaWonder · 02/03/2023 21:10

Also if there is violence I would call the police

The police aren’t going to be remotely interested in five and six year olds hitting or kicking each other, nor is that an appropriate way to deal with small children, don’t be absurd.

Original poster
prettyraindrops · 02/03/2023 21:19

Part of the ofstead review Sad

To switch DS's school..
OP posts:
Original poster
prettyraindrops · 02/03/2023 21:19

The other school has a place and would take him as soon as next week x

OP posts:
Treacletoots · 02/03/2023 21:20

Tricky one. We've just moved our DC after a year of hell with another child bullying them, including a death threat from a 6 year old!

The school failed miserably in dealing with it, because the parents of the child were "friends" with the governors..

We've moved to another school and so far, we've had no issues whatsoever. Life is too short to put up with the stress this will undoubtedly cause you and I'd seriously consider moving if the current school are unable or unwilling to deal with the issue.

You could also consider a complaint to the Local Authority to see if thst prompts any action? We did, and the school were investigated, no idea of the outcome as we'd already moved.

Original poster
prettyraindrops · 02/03/2023 21:22

I should've actually mentioned the other school is a 2 minute walk from where I work so the 2 days a week I'm there I can go to work straight from the school run.

OP posts:
Treacletoots · 02/03/2023 21:22

Just seen your update. Just move. The head isn't going to suddenly become effective. Your child deserves to go to.school without being assaulted. You won't regret the decision.

MrsMitford3 · 02/03/2023 21:25

Remember every party, every play date, every thing with school is 8 miles away.
No lift shares
No spontaneous play dates
No help with school run
etc

Marymary987 · 02/03/2023 21:25

Reading that Ofsted, yes I would move him.

Sugargliderwombat · 02/03/2023 21:26

When schools get inadequate it triggers a huge influx of change and there's a huge focus on fixing it. I'd keep him there.

Original poster
prettyraindrops · 02/03/2023 21:29

@Treacletoots you've been in a similar position then and know how it feels. How did your children settle in? Are you glad your chose to move?
I've complained to ofstead but from what I can gather with it now being an academy school I can't complain to the local authority? x

OP posts:
Orangello · 02/03/2023 21:29

Remember every party, every play date, every thing with school is 8 miles away.

We did a similar move due to a problematic kid the school wasn't able to handle. Best decision ever. He still has local playdates with children he likes, and 8 miles is no distance really to see his new friends.

But is this a reverse? I could have sworn there was a thread just the other day by a mum who was upset her son is the problematic child with additional support needs, and the other mother is moving their child.

Orangebadger · 02/03/2023 21:32

Sounds awful. The kids hitting and kicking is one thing but to have had so many teachers by yr1 already is not good at all. They need consistency.

Do you know people at the other school? Do you hear good things about it? As long as you're not going from the frying pan into the fire then I would move him.

Original poster
prettyraindrops · 02/03/2023 21:35

To be quite honest, he's not had many play dates since starting school. Every time he makes a good friend, they seem to leave!
I know a couple of the school mums at the new school already and I know 3 kids in his class. My bosses children goes there too.
They do more with the children including free swimming lessons in year 2 which I like. X

OP posts:
Remaker · 02/03/2023 21:39

I would move him. It sounds as though the school is unwilling/unable to do more. A friend’s daughter was assaulted at secondary school by a boy with SEN. The advice they received was although it was completely unfair that the victim should be the one to suffer, that the best way to protect her was to move her.

I moved my kids from a school half a mile away to one that was 7 miles away (in city traffic). It was for educational reasons, not bullying. So many people commented on how inconvenient it would be. It was the best decision ever and made such a difference to their education and their secondary school options. Totally worth it IMO. They did after school sports and activities close to home so they had local friends as well.

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