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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say getting down to Size 8/8 stone is my greatest achievement?

116 replies

Strubger · 02/03/2023 19:18

A few years ago I went through quite a difficult lonely time - I felt I'd messed up a relationship etc. Things have improved for me overall now compared to then. However I felt so lonely back then I felt I needed to draw strength from somewhere - draw strength from within - and I thought that my greatest achievement had been losing 7 stone in weight to get down to a very svelte 8 stone - well 7 stone 10 to be precise.
I was wondering why it was that I considered this my greatest achievement and came to the conclusion that it was because weight loss tends to be associated with emotional control - if you can stick to your diet - you're in control emotionally. I value this achievement more than getting a university degree - everyone's always taken for granted that I've been academic - I feel my parents only valued me if I performed well academically. But losing weight means so much more to me. AIBU?

OP posts:
HamHand · 02/03/2023 19:20

So what are you advertising OP?

Original poster
Strubger · 02/03/2023 19:21

HamHand · 02/03/2023 19:20

So what are you advertising OP?

Nothing lol!!

OP posts:
burnoutbabe · 02/03/2023 19:21

Well I would lead with that in a job interview as my greatest accomplishment

Sapphire387 · 02/03/2023 19:22

That's pretty sad.

declutteringmymind · 02/03/2023 19:24

You are allowed to be proud of your achievements. For you, losing weight might have been harder, or more meaningful than your academic achievements. That's fine. Well done.

Fairislefandango · 02/03/2023 19:24

Well done for losing weight if you needed to. But imo YABU. I don't think pinning so much importance on one's appearance is really a good thing. I'm not sure I especially think that having emotional control or iron-clad willpower are top aims either. I wonder if you will feel the same about this when you are much older and look back on your life.

WineCap · 02/03/2023 19:25

I understand what you mean OP. If academic success has come more easily than losing 7 stone due to the emotional hurdles you've had to overcome then of course it makes sense. We are proud of what we work our hardest to achieve.

AndrexPuppy · 02/03/2023 19:25

OP, YANBU to feel the way you feel
but it does feel a bit of a risky position. What happens if you gain weight? Are you then a failure?

Incidentally, @HamHand I always thought I’d go for the sun cream armpit.

Thepurplelantern · 02/03/2023 19:26

Fecking amazin @Strubger. I’m very overweight and yes emotional eating is a factor. I agree with you that getting that under control would be an achievement.

PacificallyRequested · 02/03/2023 19:26

I feel really sorry for you if you think that's your greatest achievement.

Merlott · 02/03/2023 19:26

My biggest "lifetime" achievement is quitting cannabis. I don't talk about it. Kudos to you OP. Life can be a fucking nightmare and I have huge respect for anyone who takes control of their life.

DixitDomino · 02/03/2023 19:26

Well it does take a LOT of very admirable characteristics to do this- will power, dedication to a goal, long term commitment, resilience. But so did your degree, I imagine.

Mojoj · 02/03/2023 19:27

Absolutely!! That is a fantastic achievement. I bet you look and, more importantly, feel fabulous! Well done you.

Soulstirring · 02/03/2023 19:27

I understand you. It is a great achievement, it shows control, dedication and hard work.

IwasToldThereWouldBeCake · 02/03/2023 19:27

I actually think it is FINE to say being in control of your diet and weight is a huge achievement for YOU.

I'm also academic or at least I have achieved a lot academically,..... No one really cares, not my family, not any romantic partners. Perhaps my kids are proud of me. I ve always achieved good exam results without much drama.

However when I lost 2 plus stone..... OMG people noticed that, having a healthy body shape gets tonnes of attention, it carries societal currency. Humans are rewarded for having a healthy body. If this was a big achievement for you, then enjoy it and enjoy being proud of it.

Original poster
Strubger · 02/03/2023 19:28

Thepurplelantern · 02/03/2023 19:26

Fecking amazin @Strubger. I’m very overweight and yes emotional eating is a factor. I agree with you that getting that under control would be an achievement.

I do sympathise. Before I lost weight I was in the frame of mind where I'd literally have done anything to lose - apart from invasive procedures or diet pills.

OP posts:
Original poster
Strubger · 02/03/2023 19:30

Merlott · 02/03/2023 19:26

My biggest "lifetime" achievement is quitting cannabis. I don't talk about it. Kudos to you OP. Life can be a fucking nightmare and I have huge respect for anyone who takes control of their life.

Well done- great achievement in quitting. I had a friend who died in her 40s from the effects of being extremely overweight - it's a hard battle

OP posts:
ClimbingRoseBush · 02/03/2023 19:31

You’ve done really well! But given that 90% of people re-gain the weight, I would try not to make it the focus of your self-esteem. You have value and achievements no matter what you weigh.

Treacletoots · 02/03/2023 19:32

Hmm. I'm generally not a fan of continuing to propagate the nonsense thst women are only of value if they're slim.

It's like feminism died a little when I read that. But, you do you.

Choconut · 02/03/2023 19:33

I think anything that an individual manages despite finding it really hard can feel like a really big achievement. I know I found breastfeeding for two years much harder than doing my MA, which also took two years. To me managing to BF feels like the bigger achievement as the MA felt easy in comparison.

Original poster
Strubger · 02/03/2023 19:36

Choconut · 02/03/2023 19:33

I think anything that an individual manages despite finding it really hard can feel like a really big achievement. I know I found breastfeeding for two years much harder than doing my MA, which also took two years. To me managing to BF feels like the bigger achievement as the MA felt easy in comparison.

Excellent achievement- many women find breastfeeding very difficult! Smile

OP posts:
Tiddler39 · 02/03/2023 19:37

Forgetting about appearance, you’ve taken control of something that was controlling you and regained your health.

I’d say that’s a pretty amazing achievement.

How are you going to keep the weight off, OP?

itsabigtree · 02/03/2023 19:37

Yes. To have emotional control after a long time of feeling manic/vulnerable/helpless etc, it's amazing and invaluable. And with that comes the weight loss. It's something to feel incredibly proud of. Worth much more than any work achievement. You have drawn from within and become in control of you emotions and life.

ShandaLear · 02/03/2023 19:38

That’s a fantastic achievement - and huge congratulations on your degree. They’re different kinds of achievement - one is proof of your commitment to your health, and one is proof of commitment to your education. Both are valid and to be celebrated.

Original poster
Strubger · 02/03/2023 19:39

Tiddler39 · 02/03/2023 19:37

Forgetting about appearance, you’ve taken control of something that was controlling you and regained your health.

I’d say that’s a pretty amazing achievement.

How are you going to keep the weight off, OP?

I'm going to keep they weight off by exercise/eating sensibly

OP posts: