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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Army Cadets

49 replies

TiredBefuddledRose · 02/03/2023 17:07

Hello, my 13 year old daughters are planning to join the army cadets, it's their first visit with the platoon tonight and parents have to go along for this one too.
I was wondering if anyone on here has any experience of teens in the army cadets, any highlights or pitfalls?
What sort of ongoing costs am I looking at?
Any questions I should ask at the induction tonight?

Thankyou in advance!

OP posts:
Dogscanteatonions · 02/03/2023 17:13

Nothing but good to report here, it's been incredible for my kids. Very little in the way of costs, couple of pounds for NAAFI for detachment nights. Weekends away cost £10, annual camp about £80 for two weeks and they get to do so many activities. Hope they enjoy!

Zwicky · 02/03/2023 17:23

It’s incredibly cheap compared to other activities. Ds has had 2 weekend non residential training days this month which we didn’t pay anything for. Camp at the end of the month is being covered by the detachment this time but it’s usually £20-30 for a 2 night residential. Summer camp 10 days is about £80. The uniform is provided but they need boots and kit for camp and activities. They will tell you where to go for kit and lots is available second hand. It feels like a lot for the first camp but it’s just the same so once you’ve got it it’s fine. You can generally borrow things too.
You have to get used to the language - expect to not know what anyone is talking about.
It’s the best thing any of my dc have ever done. Ds’s confidence and teamwork and general sense responsibility has rocketed and he really enjoys it.

Nootherwayout · 02/03/2023 17:24

DS is an army cadet and it’s fantastic. It must be the cheapest activity a teenager can do. They do shooting, field craft, DofE, lots of camps etc. the uniform deposit was £20, weekend camps £10 and annual camp for 11 days was £60 😵. There’s no downsides as far as I can see.

Namechangethisevening · 02/03/2023 17:47

Do You have faith in the safeguarding? DS wants to join RAF cadets. I'm keen as he has wanted to be a raf pilot since he was 2!! But my brother was in RAF cadets at school 20 or 30 years ago, and I think (but he doesn't talk about it now) he was sexually abused on a RAF residential trip. So now I have huge fear of allowing DS to join.

Anyone feel confident in the safeguarding?

TiredBefuddledRose · 02/03/2023 17:48

Thankyou everyone, hopefully the kids will enjoy it!

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SpyouttheLand · 02/03/2023 17:49

Both mine did Cadets. For DS1, it's not an exaggeration to say it was life changing. He'd gone through life invisible. He did well enough at school that no one worried about him, but didn't excel, didn't have any sporting or musical talent. He loved it all. Cadets made him part of a team and later developed presentation and leadership skills and really built his confidence and he won lots of awards and promotions, something that just didn't happen to him elsewhere. All things I can see him using in his career now he's 22. Even just the marching brought out an ability to concentrate we hadn't seen before! In fact he's just applied to go back as an adult leader.

DS2 didn't enjoy it so much, possibly because he was in his brother's shadow a bit. Also more of a loaner and didn't enjoy the whole team camaraderie in the same way.

It's very cheap. The only thing you need to provide is boots, even then if there's hardship there may be secondhand ones available. They'll be given uniform and can borrow any other kit they need although they will tell you they need their own

SpyouttheLand · 02/03/2023 17:50

Namechangethisevening · 02/03/2023 17:47

Do You have faith in the safeguarding? DS wants to join RAF cadets. I'm keen as he has wanted to be a raf pilot since he was 2!! But my brother was in RAF cadets at school 20 or 30 years ago, and I think (but he doesn't talk about it now) he was sexually abused on a RAF residential trip. So now I have huge fear of allowing DS to join.

Anyone feel confident in the safeguarding?

DH was an adult volunteer at cadets and frankly the safeguarding training he did was just as good and refreshed more frequently than anything I do working in school.

TiredBefuddledRose · 02/03/2023 17:55

Namechangethisevening · 02/03/2023 17:47

Do You have faith in the safeguarding? DS wants to join RAF cadets. I'm keen as he has wanted to be a raf pilot since he was 2!! But my brother was in RAF cadets at school 20 or 30 years ago, and I think (but he doesn't talk about it now) he was sexually abused on a RAF residential trip. So now I have huge fear of allowing DS to join.

Anyone feel confident in the safeguarding?

Obviously we haven't started yet but safeguarding didn't really exist 20/30 years ago.
I'm very sorry for what happened to your brother though.

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AllMyExesWearRolexes · 02/03/2023 18:12

I was an air cadet, failed OASC and ended up in the TA. My sister was an army cadet.
Cadet units are inexpensive compared to many hobbies & offer a lot of activities and opportunities.
Who sponsors the detachment you will be visiting? (whose capbadge do they wear)?
I was in a TA infantry regiment and we had several cadet units under our "umbrella" who we often ran activities for.
Kudos to your DDs for wanting to be active and do something useful.
"The volunteer is twice the citizen" - Winston Churchill.

Hence · 02/03/2023 18:23

Hopefully the safeguarding has improved since I was a cadet. I am in my 30s now and unfortunately I, and several other young girls, back in our teens had a really awful time at the hands of several male instructors. We weren't believed back then either when we spoke out. As I said, hopefully times have changed now.

Hence · 02/03/2023 18:24

I was an Army Cadet.

BigBagOfElbows · 02/03/2023 18:27

Not army but sea cadets. My son has been going for 6 years. He's kind, responsible and respectful. At 16 he's never given us any trouble and although his dad and I would love to take all the credit I know sea cadets has had a hand in this. He's now considering joining the Navy. It's so good for them to have a separate group of friends they don't go to school with.

Nevermind31 · 02/03/2023 18:30

I would be afraid of any indoctrination to join the army/ navy/ airforce.
my kids will chose what they want to do but I’d rather not have them in a life threatening job that has profound impact on the rest of their lives.

SoShallINever · 02/03/2023 18:34

It's an amazing organisation and gives children such fantastic opportunities. I've had
Two go through army cadets and one through Air cadets.
I'd say army cadets is much cheaper, more adventurous and definitely well run .
I think all 3 of my children became a lot more confident with going away all the time. They are well fed, well exercised and properly challenged.
I think the skills they learned helped them a lot at university and one is now in the TA.

Namechangethisevening · 02/03/2023 18:36

SpyouttheLand · 02/03/2023 17:50

DH was an adult volunteer at cadets and frankly the safeguarding training he did was just as good and refreshed more frequently than anything I do working in school.

That's really good to hear :)

IneedanewTV · 02/03/2023 18:36

Hence · 02/03/2023 18:23

Hopefully the safeguarding has improved since I was a cadet. I am in my 30s now and unfortunately I, and several other young girls, back in our teens had a really awful time at the hands of several male instructors. We weren't believed back then either when we spoke out. As I said, hopefully times have changed now.

I’m sorry about that. Ultimately though 30 years ago there wasn’t safeguarding like there is now.

My son was in the RAF cadets and loved it. They spent weeks away on bases, marching competitions, flying planes, etc etc. He is now joining the RAF. So do be prepared for that to happen. If you are not keen on the military then I wouldn’t encourage your child to attend.

ThisIsTrifficult · 02/03/2023 18:39

I was an army cadet from 13-17. Bloody loved it!
Gave me SO much confidence and I made friends much easier than in school.
I was there once a week at first, then found any excuse to go to neighbouring detachments, band practice, learned the drum and fife.
Jumped out a plane, ran around in stupid clothes with camo paint on screaming at 2am.
Brilliant. Plus being a 13+ year old girl, access to boys was great!
Camps were cheap and good fun. Good good. Activities amazing. They're really hot on girls with girls and vice versa and I don't remember any sneaking about really, it wasn't worth it!

ThisIsTrifficult · 02/03/2023 18:40

Eugh, good FOOD!!

Hence · 02/03/2023 18:40

It was 15 years ago, not 30. I am just saying be cautious sending your daughters off to camp with these people who are effectively strangers.

warmeduppizza · 02/03/2023 18:41

I thought it all looked brilliant until I started volunteering with my local platoon and witnessed how toxic it was. Constant shouting, bullying, culture of fear, lack of safeguarding. I’d recommend not just sending the girls but actively getting involved, to keep a finger on the pulse.

Hence · 02/03/2023 18:44

Even if you take out the rapes and sexual abuse, there was also violence, bullying, hazing, constant shouting. It was extremely toxic. Some of the instructor's day jobs were policemen and they were the worst.

BashfulClam · 02/03/2023 18:45

Namechangethisevening · 02/03/2023 17:47

Do You have faith in the safeguarding? DS wants to join RAF cadets. I'm keen as he has wanted to be a raf pilot since he was 2!! But my brother was in RAF cadets at school 20 or 30 years ago, and I think (but he doesn't talk about it now) he was sexually abused on a RAF residential trip. So now I have huge fear of allowing DS to join.

Anyone feel confident in the safeguarding?

I was an air cadet in the mid 90’s. It was great, got to go do my doe, flights, shooting etc.

Hence · 02/03/2023 18:46

@warmeduppizza this was my experience too. Sad it hasn't changed!

warmeduppizza · 02/03/2023 18:47

@Hence this was about 5 years ago.

54isanopendoor · 02/03/2023 18:50

Nevermind31 · 02/03/2023 18:30

I would be afraid of any indoctrination to join the army/ navy/ airforce.
my kids will chose what they want to do but I’d rather not have them in a life threatening job that has profound impact on the rest of their lives.

My exact feelings when Ds (then aged 13) expressed an interest in Cadets.
He is now, aged 18, just starting the Adult Instructor process, & has thought long & hard about it due to the above mainly.
But very few kids that go through Cadets join the Army. It's mostly 'just' an outstanding youth club with opportunities they won't get elsewhere. There are a few hardened older ones who seem to see the kids as potential squaddies but most AI's are much more rounded.

My Dd has recently joined too & values it as a place where she can cast off 'girlie' stereotypes & really hold her own with her peers.
Safeguarding is as good as you will get anywhere I think. Partly, it's luck sadly.
Some platoons DO have a 1950's culture - our previous one was racist & sexist so we left & went elsewhere. But again, that can come up with any group sadly.
I'd go for a few taster sessions & see what you think. Good luck.