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Original poster

To think this was a nice day for toddler …?

216 replies

Owlatnighttime · 02/03/2023 16:35

Wakes at 5.

Comes in bed for cuddle with parent a, won’t go back to sleep, Parent a puts tv on. Has breakfast around 8, goes out with parent a at 9. Toddler group, then a run and play on the park. Home for lunch, naps 12:20-2:20, watches some tv for maybe an hour, plays outside in the garden for an hour. Now playing with toys until tea at 515, will then watch another hour of CBeebies then bath and bed.

OP posts:
Caspianberg · 02/03/2023 18:45

@restisall - you haven’t met my son then. He can literally wake at 6am, and then not stop moving and talking all day, refuse nap and still not fall asleep until 8-9pm sometimes.
Even if I put the tv on, he’s never actually sat down to watch more than 2 mins before he’s up bouncing around…

Littlefaeries · 02/03/2023 18:46

Owlatnighttime · 02/03/2023 18:43

Well, it is on the high side, I’d agree, but I’ve felt a bit wiped out today. Normally he doesn’t get to watch tv in the middle of the day but he always does start the day with TV and end it (in a way) he goes up for his bath at 6 and then we read stories and then bed at 7.

On nursery days it’s more like half an hour in the morning and maybe forty minutes in the evening. But days with me do feature more screentime, we do lots of varied activities but if I try to engage him in something like painting he just really isn’t interested.

If your dc is well cared for, happy and loved then the occasional day with a few hours of tea is fine.
A parent who isn’t shattered from very little sleep can only be a bonus for any dc.

InvincibleInvisibility · 02/03/2023 18:46

@Caspianberg sounds like one of mine. Even aged 8 he can't sit down and watch the Tv. We never take him to the cinema!

Original poster
Owlatnighttime · 02/03/2023 18:46

@Lwrenagain did do an amazing post Grin

I fidgeted with bedtime and nap time with the early wakeups but nothing really makes a difference. Normally his sleep is more like 60-90 minutes but today he woke so early he needed a long sleep, otherwise he’s horribly grumpy when he wakes.

OP posts:
RemoteControlDoobry · 02/03/2023 18:46

The screen time is keeping you sane. If you lose the plot because you’re trying to entertain a toddler constantly then that’s not good for your child. It’s not natural for an adult to spend all their time with a toddler so you do what you need to do to survive.

merlotlover · 02/03/2023 18:47

Probs just something to eat and drink between 5-8
Rest sounds fine to me

VivaVivaa · 02/03/2023 18:47

I’m sure your DC loved it! How old are they? ‘Toddler’ is such a wide age range - if they are at the older end of toddler I’d be cutting down/ditching the nap and/or pushing bedtime later to see if that 5am start can be made later personally.

Original poster
Owlatnighttime · 02/03/2023 18:49

He had milk, @merlotlover Smile

He was 2 beginning of jan.

OP posts:
Lordofthebutterfloofs · 02/03/2023 18:50

Toddler happy? ✔️
Toddler fed? ✔️
Toddler exercised? ✔️
Toddler entertained? ✔️
Parent happy ✔️

Seems to tick all the criteria op.

Theelephantinthecastle · 02/03/2023 18:50

Before mine dropped their naps, my day off with them was usually something like:

5am wake - TV and milk
6am breakfast
6:30-8ish playing at home, toys, puzzles books, etc
8-11am some kind of outing - usually playground and then playgroup
11:30 lunch and half an hour TV
12-2 nap
2 snack
2:30-4 some kind of mini outing like the library
4 - dinner
Half an hour of TV
5ish - quiet play/wind down
6ish start bedtime routine
6:45ish - bedtime

So plenty of TV - roughly two hours - but quite a lot more activity

The early wake up phase is really brutal but I don't think 3 hours of screentime first thing is ok - especially when you do get naptime to yourself. I also found mine slept later if more physically tired

The main piece of advice I would give is to really use those naptimes to rest, I would spend half doing chores but keep half as time to myself

Original poster
Owlatnighttime · 02/03/2023 18:51

Sorry … should have read the post properly.

I did try dropping the nap a couple of weeks ago and it didn’t work. He just crashed exhausted on day 2 and ended up napping at 4 - I couldn’t wake him. And I’ve tried pushing bedtime later, again it doesn’t make any real discernible difference. He might wake fifteen/twenty minutes later if you put him to bed an hour later but then he just wants to nap longer. It’s a phase, sometimes he sleeps till 6/630 which isn’t too bad but 5 is a killer!

OP posts:
AliceMcK · 02/03/2023 18:52

Sounds perfectly fine to me. Most toddlers don’t sit and watch tv for hours but they like it on when playing. I would always have something on in the background, one of my go to shows was The Wiggles as it’s great to dance and sing to. The only thing I’d avoid now is coco melon as I’ve since learnt how bad it is for children.

Lordofthebutterfloofs · 02/03/2023 18:52

Owlatnighttime · 02/03/2023 18:21

Thanks so much everyone!

So tbh the reason I was asking was because of the TV. He is an early riser - usually more like 530, and I usually take him to bed with me but he never goes back to sleep! So I do put the TV on. On days when we have an exceptionally early wake up (like today) and I’m not at work so we don’t have to leave the house at 7 it does amount to a lot of screentime and I do stress about it. In fairness he only ‘watches’ the programmes he likes such as Raa Raa and teletubbies.

He does have milk when he wakes and then breakfast a bit later.

So today was on the high side with screentime, it’s just hard sometimes when I’m so tired from the early getups!

😍 I remember Rara!

Seriously op, folk on here will tell you TV is tantamount to child abuse.

It's fine honestly. Really it is.

Original poster
Owlatnighttime · 02/03/2023 18:53

Yes, he isn’t into cocomelon which is good.

He does play actively in the garden (we have a big garden and he has lots of outdoor toys) but not so great in the house.

OP posts:
Glitteratitar · 02/03/2023 18:56

OMG no! It’s ok! If there was that much screen time every day then it would be too much, but every now and then because you need a break - completely acceptable! Don’t be hard on yourself!

Mysisterlivesinbicester · 02/03/2023 18:57

@Owlatnighttime

As PP have said, it sounds like a completely normal and very nice toddler day - but too much TV. I can see why, as 5 is a very early start for you. Could you introduce a clock, and work towards him only coming in to your bed at a certain time? When my DC were toddlers, they had animal clocks (as it was before they could tell the time): they knew they could come in to us when the little hand was at the dinosaur and the big hand was at the flamingo (which was 6.30). Until then, they had to be quiet in their rooms. I would then cuddle and read to them when they came in at 6.30 - always the same stories, but they loved it (as did I) until I said we could go down for breakfast.

I did introduce screens when they were a bit older - they had Teletubbies and Thomas the Tank Engine videos (yes, videos) and could choose one episode to watch if the afternoon was feeling particularly long (for me), but never after 'children's tea'. After tea was tidying up, bath, stories and bed.

I think a 2 hour nap is a bit long for a toddler. I used to have 'quiet time' after lunch (when they could nap or play quietly in their rooms for an hour, and I could sit and stare into space because it was all I was capable of most afternoons), then more stories.

I read a lot of stories to my children!

Otherwise, fresh air, exercise, toddler groups and gentle days are absolutely perfect for toddlers.

MangshorJhol · 02/03/2023 18:57

It’s ok for them to be bored too. Don’t feel guilty. They will whine at first but they will progressively get better. I used to set up some toys, play and then move away and stubbornly ignore the whining for a bit. Or I would lie on the floor with a couple of open ended toys and let him play/climb over me. You don’t have to do organised activities. But learning to be bored is a vital lesson! Including for your sanity.

qpmz · 02/03/2023 18:58

Excited101 · 02/03/2023 17:11

Far too much tv/screen time. Even once a day isn’t necessary

Once a day might not be necessary but how is the op supposed to make a cup of tea and have a break if toddler has no telly at all?

Original poster
Owlatnighttime · 02/03/2023 19:00

The two hour nap isn’t every day, but today after such an early start he did need a good sleep. Usually it’s more around the 90 minute mark. I haven’t found any variations in nap time make a difference to morning wakeups, to be honest.

I probably will think about a Gro clock when he’s a bit older. At the moment I’m fairly sure that all that would happen would be he’d cry until I went to get him, he can’t get out of the cot without one of us lifting him anyway.

OP posts:
GrinAndVomit · 02/03/2023 19:02

My older two had two hour naps until they were over three.
Then would still have one on a weekend.

Hoping the third follows their lead 😬

Hollyhead · 02/03/2023 19:03

Oh come on, everyone knows that screen time before 8am doesn’t count towards the limit!

DancingDaughter50 · 02/03/2023 19:04

@saltwater1985

I think we probably erred on the side of slightly too much TV.

But I made sure they did so much other stuff as well.

Interesting about ahldhd and TV on because I liked it also.

If a TV was on In someone's house but they were talking to me etc I would have that TV in the background.

It wouldn't take my attention and it would be back noise.

Two of dc friend had strict TV limits and on play dates if ours was on my dc would be wanting to play but the TV limited would be open mouthed staring.
Obviously we turned it off but it amazed me every time!

Op balance as ever is key.
Mine probably watched too much but I kmow we did more than their peers and every other weekend we went to places like London, musuem etc

Lotsofthingstoconsider · 02/03/2023 19:05

Do f sweat it OP.. mine all had at LEAST that much screen time at that age.. (videos though because I'm old )

As they get older there is more stuff to do and screen time diminishes.

All went to Uni. All got good degrees .. all have great jobs.. ALL are lovely kind rounded human beings.. this is but a snap shot in their lives .. please don't let the 'perfect' parents stress you out..

Those of my acquaintances who did everything'by the book' have a lot more problematic relationships with their parents and life in general .. keep doing what you are doing there is a lot to be learned on screen time it's not all the work of the devil 🤣

Youngman1267 · 02/03/2023 19:09

I really worried about how much screen time mine had during covid. I wish id saved myself the worry. They don't really watch it for very long now. You can always change things later on. The early years are hard- especially the 5am wake ups. It might be like this now but in 4 months things might be completely different.

Verbena17 · 02/03/2023 19:10

@Owlatnighttime ignore all the people saying ‘way too much screen time’.
What’s the bet, that once their ‘no screen time’ kiddos reach teen years, they’re all on phones, just as much as all the kids who had plenty of screen time.

I would be far more worried about the poor blooming kids who were banned from pre-school & primary over the past 3 years - communication & mental health problems due to lack of socialisation & stupid unscientific manky, damp bacteria-ridden face masks incoming!!!

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