To keep DS off school instead of sending him with his sibling?

[e120]

Youngest child has an appointment at 9:45 tomorrow, and will have to leave the house at 7ish to get a 7:30 train.

Older DS is 14, and the middle is 6. They go to the same school but they're different buildings right next to each other. DS1 usually leaves the house early to get an earlier bus then I take DS2. Tomorrow I obviously can't do this and have no one to take him, a friend was going to but their DC is unwell so won't be at school tomorrow.

I'm unsure whether to send him with DS1, mainly as DS1 has some silly behaviour and will more than likely also be with his friends which makes him more silly. He also doesn't go to school sometimes which he hasn't for a while after I threatened to start taking him myself but it is a possibility that he won't go again.

WIBU to keep DS2 off tomorrow?

Well, I wouldn’t send him to school with DS1! If there’s no-one else to take him (could you drop him earlier, say at breakfast club?) then I’d probably send school an email to say he has an appointment first thing and will be in at X time and drop him as soon as you can. If it’s after lunch then email school and say he has an appointment and won’t be in.

I would actually do the opposite of the previous poster and send him in with DS1. He is 14. Explain the issue and say it is time for him to step up and help the family out in situations like this and that he is now old enough to take on the responsibility. If it needs a little bribe of his favourite tea or similar then offer the carrot.

Middle child should not just be kept off school.

It isn't possible for him to go to breakfast club unfortunately as the school is in the other direction and we need to get on the train for around 7:30.

Get the 14 year old to step up. With a treat for being helpful and adult.

Send him with the 14yo.

I would expect a 14 year old to be able to take his younger brother.

Oh that’s a bugger.

You know your children best. If the 14 year old is not reliable then I understand your concern and personally, in that scenario, I wouldn’t send them together. I appreciate it must be frustrating for you that you aren’t able to do so.

Obviously it’s the kind of situation where everything should be fine if they traveled together - but 6 is still quite young, and if his brother doesn’t take sufficient care the younger one would be very vulnerable. Plus, should anything untoward happen, that’s too much for a 14 year old to live with - especially if he were partly responsible, and even more if you both knew he was being asked to do something he’d currently find challenging.

If there is no other adult to help then I don’t see that you have much choice but to take him with you. Times tables practice on the train! Cut yourself some slack - sometimes needs must.

(Any friends close by with teenage daughters at the same school who might be persuaded to take him with them for babysitting money? The girls I know that age are quite mature and it always helps if it’s not your own sibling… probably too late now though)

Hope it all goes smoothly, whatever you decide x

Unless your 14 year old is absolutely out of control I'd probably have a word with him and get him to be responsible for taking his sibling in......but I facilitate this in a sneaky way. I'd speak to him as an adult looking all glum and concerned and wait for him to come up with an answer. I'd maybe suggest that baby brother might have to miss his appointment as you can't be in 2 places at once and you've no one to take middle son to school.....unless....?
Maybe this will be good for him to take on this responsibility. Q Are you sure? It's a lot of responsibility etc. Maybe they could get a lift/taxi to station.
Obs have a system in place so you know its gone to plan eg call when he gets off train or drops off.
Go for a simple reward afterwards rather than a bribe before.
Young lads respond surprisingly well to praise.

I'd keep the middle child off and bring him with you. Honestly it's 1 day and not worth the stress leaving him with ds1

My 14 year old would be absolutely fine doing this especially as a one off. Have you discussed with DS1? You could always check with office that DE2 has arrived safely.