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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

hijacked parents

27 replies

Skipsareyum · 02/03/2023 12:06

My DF is 60 next year and I wanted to do something nice as a family to mark the occasion. Was thinking a big family holiday including my DSis and family and my 2 db and their families.
I kept mentioning that we needed to arrange something for this special birthday but nothing has been arranged yet. The other day my parents announce that DSis is going to Florida for a couple of weeks next year and has asked them to go too. They’re going. This is within a month of DF 60th! Me or DBs were not invited.

AIBU to feel a bit miffed about this?

parents and DSis won’t want to do another holiday so close to this one nor will they afford it.

OP posts:
soleilblue · 02/03/2023 12:08

Don't be ridiculous..as long as its not on the 60th birthday itself I don't see the issue

Clippp · 02/03/2023 12:17

I guess your DF didn't want to do a big family holiday in honour of his birthday - his actions are telling you that.

I would be miffed too by the indirect communication. You suggested something and rather than being honest they've let their actions do the talking.

I would see how they feel about a weekend away or a party or a big family meal out instead. Maybe he just doesn't want the fuss or to start a family tradition where everyone's 'o' birthday need an expensive holiday to celebrate them.

Gizlotsmum · 02/03/2023 12:19

Had you mentioned a family holiday or just that you wanted to do something? Had there been any real discussion or was it just an idea for other people to act on?

Merlott · 02/03/2023 12:20

If you wanted to organise something you should have done that instead of dropping passive aggressive hints.

YABU because whatever plans other family make are irrelevant, there are plenty of days in a year?!!

Ceryneianhind · 02/03/2023 12:45

Merlott · 02/03/2023 12:20

If you wanted to organise something you should have done that instead of dropping passive aggressive hints.

YABU because whatever plans other family make are irrelevant, there are plenty of days in a year?!!

Exactly this

purplecorkheart · 02/03/2023 12:49

Dramatic title.

Did everyone else want to go on the holiday. You say you kept mentioning about arranging it but it did not get arranged. Is that because people did not want to go? I love my sibling but would not want to go on a holiday with them.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 02/03/2023 12:54

You don't actually say if you suggested a holiday or just said you all need to do something to mark it.

percypercypercy · 02/03/2023 12:57

Genuinely thought this was about your parents being in a hostage situation

Shinyandnew1 · 02/03/2023 12:59

What did your parents/sister say when you ‘kept mentioning’ a family holiday? Do you get on?

Original poster
Skipsareyum · 02/03/2023 16:37

Sorry everyone I had the title as DSis hijacked parents but must have deleted part and not proof read properly! Oops.

OP posts:
purplecorkheart · 02/03/2023 16:40

Your sister did not hijack your parents though. She invited them on holiday and they accepted. It is not like you had a holiday actually booked and she booked their holiday for the same time.

Original poster
Skipsareyum · 02/03/2023 16:41

Well I kept saying to my parents about it so they knew exactly what was being suggested. Brothers & sister seemed on board but clearly not when she’s now booked this big holiday so close and is taking my parents with her. Not even any invitation for the rest of us. She’s hijacked my Dads 60th birthday holiday and now we will have to just do a meal or something equally underwhelming. Oh well.

OP posts:
Original poster
Skipsareyum · 02/03/2023 16:41

Yes we all get on but I feel she competes for parents attention even now we are all now grown ups

OP posts:
ChefsSalad · 02/03/2023 16:43

If your parents knew you were planning a holiday but made other plans then they didn't want to go on your holiday.

Original poster
Skipsareyum · 02/03/2023 16:45

Maybe it’s sibling rivalry on my part too. She’s come in and basically took the special holiday but excluded the rest of us. So she will have the lovely holiday with our Dad and we won’t. I know her and she will make a thing of it being for his big birthday while they are away.

OP posts:
Original poster
Skipsareyum · 02/03/2023 16:46

ChefsSalad · 02/03/2023 16:43

If your parents knew you were planning a holiday but made other plans then they didn't want to go on your holiday.

Well that hurts too

OP posts:
TrombonesAreNotBones · 02/03/2023 16:47

You know what she is like, your sister, so now get on and organise a party for your Dad before she gets in and steals his actual birthday (yes I know dramatic language but I have experience of this kind of sibling)

determinedtomakethiswork · 02/03/2023 16:48

soleilblue · 02/03/2023 12:08

Don't be ridiculous..as long as its not on the 60th birthday itself I don't see the issue

So you think they will go on two holidays in one month?

Ponoka7 · 02/03/2023 16:49

Try to remember that it is your dad's birthday and not yours. I wouldn't want to go away with all my adult children, I'm not playing referee on what should be my time. I doubt that she's plucked a Florida holiday out of the blue. It's the ideal time for your parents to go, you don't know how your health will go after 60. Why do you have to go big? A meal, or day out is enough.

Mistymoonsinastarrysky · 02/03/2023 16:50

One of my sisters would do something like this repeatedly when my parents were alive.
Mind games.

Ponoka7 · 02/03/2023 16:52

Skipsareyum · 02/03/2023 16:46

Well that hurts too

Show quote history

Are you all in the income bracket were a Florida holiday isn't special? If so then they can easily do a weekend trip. If not, why would you cause issues? Do they guilt trip you into doing what they want on your birthdays?

pawz · 02/03/2023 16:52

I do think YABU tbh, if you've mentioned several times "oh we must do something for DF next year" - why haven't you started to make concrete plans? Or suggest dates / places / budgets? I wouldn't be putting my holiday plans on hold for some vague wishy washy statement like that tbh.

Ilikewinter · 02/03/2023 16:54

Have you asked why they have booked the Florida trip?. Maybe your DF didnt want a big family holiday??. Could you book a lodge type place and do a family weekend away instead ?

Original poster
Skipsareyum · 02/03/2023 17:04

I’m going to get a party sorted as a previous poster suggested. Pissed off with DSis but what can you do…..and my parents did go along with it.

Neither DB are that bothered I don’t think. The rivalry is me and her. Think it’s made me realise how I actually feel when she does these things.

OP posts:
Original poster
Skipsareyum · 02/03/2023 17:06

Ilikewinter · 02/03/2023 16:54

Have you asked why they have booked the Florida trip?. Maybe your DF didnt want a big family holiday??. Could you book a lodge type place and do a family weekend away instead ?

The family trip thing is done. I’m not arranging anything for DSis to come and ruin. I will put up with her for a party but I’m too annoyed with her to spend time organising a nice trip that’s going to be secondary to her massive Florida holiday

OP posts:
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