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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I’d like tactics (humorous or otherwise) for dealing with a Corrector.

74 replies

EmpressOfTheSofa · 02/03/2023 09:14

This is one of my employees.

I have brought it up formally and informally but I think it’s such an ingrained part of her personality that she can’t change it. It’s driving me mad (and everyone else) so I need some suggestions.

She argues or corrects pretty much everything. She’s often wrong. Or it’s completely irrelevant. It has the effect of making the person she’s correcting uncomfortable and embarrassed, or just enraged.

Some random examples. She raised her voice to tell a colleague she was wrong about the flavour of a sample, in front of the customer. Colleague had it correct. The customer looked awkward and confused. There was no need for any of the interaction.

If a customer asks a question she will jump
in and answer it, cutting off the person who was asked. If the person gets a word in, she will say ‘well yes but’ and change the answer slightly to get her oar in.

Argues the toss whenever asked to do something. For example can you get 3 of these for me? No you’ll only need 2 so I’ll get those. This is just so constant that it’s become a joke.

Tells me frequently, loudly and publicly that I need to do XYZ when either a) I know, b) I don’t need to, c) I’ve done it.

Sometimes I just stare at her in a WTF fashion. Sometimes I state my point again. Sometimes I take her to one side and pull her up properly. Nothing changes.

She has been there the longest out of the whole team (and calls herself the OG out of my earshot) but when I say the longest, we are a new team and she has been here less than a year. I’ve been here six months. She thinks I don’t know what I am doing and tells the rest of the team this frequently. This is because I do things differently to the previous manager. The previous manager was let go and I was brought in to replace her.

She argues with customers! Not aggressively but by correcting them. Like if they mispronounce a product name, or ask for something we don’t have. She’s really abrupt in her manner.

This one is petty, but she very grandly ‘let me know’ in front of the team about a big operational change that was happening. My boss had told her on my day off when he visited. I obviously already knew about it (it was my fucking idea!) but either she genuinely thought she knew before me or was trying to make out to the team that she knew more than me. I did actually laugh out loud at her and say yes, why do you think I wouldn’t know that?

She just has a pathological need to be the person with all the answers and to have the last word. And I so far haven’t managed to get through to her to stop. It is getting to the point I am probably going to actually sack her because I’ve brought it up in two appraisals and several times informally and nothing is changing. And I’m sick of dealing with complaints from the team and customers about her. So before I get to that point, help me with some tactics. Please.

OP posts:
AtrociousCircumstance · 02/03/2023 09:15

Give her a formal warning for aggressive rudeness. Or just fire her.

ComeTheFckOnBridget · 02/03/2023 09:17

Why are you bothering with tactics?

Sit her down and nicely, but firmly, explain the problem - with examples - and tell her to sort it out or you'll have to let her go.

You won't do her - or anyone else - any favours by pussyfooting around the issue and she's not going to get unless you're blunt.

MXVIT · 02/03/2023 09:19

i asssumed you were a peer of hers until you said manager at the end given your desire to pussyfoot and use tactics!

121 conversation - completely directly, no fluff so there can be no mistake in what youre saying or shes hearing. her attitude isnt working - need to see a change or itll be on to warnings.

Cherrysoup · 02/03/2023 09:20

Let her go, she sounds annoying as f. If she’s generating multiple customer complaints, she’s harming the business.

EmpressOfTheSofa · 02/03/2023 09:22

The thing is I have been blunt! And the next stage is a formal warning.

I’m just looking for things I might not have thought of to train this out of her. She can’t seem to help it, it’s a reflex. And I don’t love the idea of sacking her for a personality trait. Although coming across as rude to the customers is becoming more of an issue.

OP posts:
Whataretheodds · 02/03/2023 09:23

I’ve brought it up in two appraisals and several times informally and nothing is changing

In my book that's an attitude problem, you've given her formal warning (2 appraisals - is that 2 years?) - get rid of her.

LadyDanburysHat · 02/03/2023 09:24

Nest stage is a formal warning. Then go to that next stage. I think you will probably end up having to sack her though.

Weatherwax134 · 02/03/2023 09:25

Unfortunately, it will need to be a firm conversation. If your company has a HR team or if you are part of a union, then you may find it useful to take advice from them about handling the employee. They can also help you if the employee decides to come back at you for being 'unfair'.

titchy · 02/03/2023 09:31

First off document everything. What she said, when, who was there, the effect, particularly on clients. Then stop making excuses like it's a personality trait. Unless she is ND it's irrelevant. No one is making her. She is an adult and perfectly able to exercise self control and behave properly. She doesn't because she can't be bothered, and doesn't think you will actually do anything about it.

So written warning time. Follow whatever procedures apply in your workplace to the letter. Give her very clear written warning that one more episode will result in stage 2 of the disciplinary procedure (or whatever) which would then be followed by dismissal.

JustMaggie · 02/03/2023 09:32

I don't think it's a "personality trait". The fact that you have brought it up with her several times and she hasn't changed or even slightly improved makes me think this person has an agenda. I think you have no other choice, you have to let her go.

ComeTheFckOnBridget · 02/03/2023 09:32

There are personality traits and there are behaviours. They are not the same thing and we all need to learn how to ensure our personality traits don't lead to behaviour that upsets and offends others.

You won't be doing her a favour by attempting to be gentle. Follow process, be firm but polite. It's unpleasant but she's got to learn and better that it come from someone who is not looking to hurt her than someone who doesn't give a toss.

TheFeistyFeminist · 02/03/2023 09:33

She's made no effort to address a behaviour that her manager has repeatedly told her is a problem.

Arrange a separate meeting with her, with a 1-item agenda. Be blunt but professional that you've raised this informally, several times. She's made no effort to moderate the problem behaviour and that you've received complaints from customers and colleagues (as long as you can back that up).

Tell her that you're now putting on file this conversation, in which you're telling her that unless you see a marked improvement in (reasonable timescale) then you will have no option but to invoke whatever your organisation has in the way of Managed Performance Improvement Plan (or similar terminology) and she should be aware that failure to comply with a reasonable management request could result in investigation and procedure under the Disciplinary policy (presuming you have one) and a possible outcome of that could be termination for misconduct (if that's an option available to you in the policy).

Read up on your policies first so you know exactly what scope you have, and discuss with HR before acting. Mostly so you're covered, but partly because they may have ideas on how to win her back over, or cut it off painlessly. At the very least they should be able to coach you on how to proceed.

Good luck, it's the rubbish part of management.

Sorcière · 02/03/2023 09:41

I’m so glad I don’t manage people anymore, every sympathy with you.
Re behaviour, currently she either won’t do it or can’t do it. I often found it useful to frame things in my mind that way.
The process set out by @TheFeistyFeminist will flush out either of these. If no change then let her go. Your remaining team will thank you for it and they are currently watching you for how you deal with this.
Good luck.

EmpressOfTheSofa · 02/03/2023 09:42

Thank you, this is all really helpful.

I have let people go before (although not in this particular job) but it was gross misconduct so it was more straightforward. I need to find my inner bitch, as my boss keeps telling me. He told me I ought to sack her weeks ago. I haven’t because when she’s not being a bossy know it all she does good work and I get on with her. She much worse on busy shifts than when I work one to one with her. We’re a tiny team though and we need to all gel, and she doesn’t.

OP posts:
feelinglikeanewparent · 02/03/2023 09:45

No tactics necessary. She's been informed and refused to change.

You need to go formal and make her very aware of the outcome if she doesn't make changes.

If it's affecting you this much, imagine how much it's affecting your team. And you're also getting customer complaints about her?! She should've been managed out a while ago.

Dustybarn · 02/03/2023 09:49

I used to have a friend like this. She genuinely thought that she was smarter than everyone and argued with / corrected everyone. I think you should call her in, with HR or another senior person present, and raise the issue again, noting that this is the third and final discussion. If she’s like my former friend, she will not respect you (in her mind she is so much smarter) so having HR there will drive home the point that it is not just you, but the whole organization, that has an issue with her conduct.

HotSauceNow · 02/03/2023 09:50

You know she needs to go. Sounds like you have your boss’s backing. Make sure you have advice from HR.

A key point though is vital to have record keeping. Keep a log of incidents, times and dates.

eg 28 Feb 10am - a middle aged female customer asked Sarah where the wasabi was. Sarah corrected the customer’s pronunciation of wasabi and rolled her eyes. Customer looked upset and I had to apologise.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 02/03/2023 10:00

How do the meetings go? Does she think she is being helpful?

I think you have another meeting and give a load of examples and spell out how it makes people feel in case they think they are being helpful. You can either ask her, what does she think she needs from you to stop this behaviour? You can then point it out every single time so she realises how often it's happening. Explain that the next step is performance management for her but she needs to put some work in first to overcome the urge to correct people. Put some specific targets in place e.g. dont correct any employees in front of customers or any customers this week

OrigamiOwls · 02/03/2023 10:09

I've got no advice, but you've got my solidarity as I manage one of these people as well!

Whattodonut · 02/03/2023 10:09

Agree with the above but just remember its not personal and to keep it specific and related to how it impacts on the team and the work.
For work stuff Ask a manager has some really good ideas for dealing with tricky employees whilst remaining impersonal and professional
www.askamanager.org/2019/02/how-to-tell-an-employee-to-stay-in-their-lane.html

Its another page I can get lost on!

junebirthdaygirl · 02/03/2023 10:10

Does she actually see what she is doing wrong? So when you bring it up does she go ..Oh no l realise l have done it again or does she really believe there is nothing wrong with what she is doing?
You may lose good staff because of her as my ds left a job where this was constantly happening to him because he could no longer stand being corrected continuously.
Is there a chance she may be on the Autistic Spectrum as some folks there find it impossible not to put things right no matter what the impact is?
Could you tell her exactly what to do when she gets the urge to correct? Walk away. Write it down somewhere herself and tear it up later. That might sound mad but it seems like her massive impulse is to do it so needs to let it out somewhere.

AtrociousCircumstance · 02/03/2023 10:11

You don’t need your inner bitch. You just need to be a grown up in a professional setting and go through all the correct stages towards firing her. Starting with a formal warning.

IncompleteSenten · 02/03/2023 10:13

You've already done what you were supposed to do.
Proceed through the disciplinary procedure. She's not going to change.

WonderingWanda · 02/03/2023 10:14

I tend to use sarcasm and a large amount of piss taking with people like this. When she's being like this step in and say "Please excuse Corrector, she has a heart of gold but gets a bit carried away" or "Thanks corrector, you've made that as clear as mud" with a wink. "Gosh, would I do without you to do my job for me" and so on. She sounds like a bitnof a twerp.

Fraaahnces · 02/03/2023 10:16

I think your boss was basically telling you everything we’re saying. She needs to go. (She sounds AWFUL!)