DH has a close friendship with 2 of his colleagues, 1 is male and the other female who is actually their line manager. There are others in the team but DH and the other 2 do a lot outside of work without the rest of the team, such as monthly nights out and/or monthly lunches, as well as having their own group chat.
I am confident in my marriage and don’t have any worries of DH cheating, after all there are 3 of them in the group and the other male is also married, however I cannot help but feel a bit uneasy at times at this friendship!
First of all there is a lot of gossiping about other colleagues who are on their team. One member drunkenly confided in the line manager on a staff party about something personal and line manager has shared this with DH which I don’t think is appropriate.
Line manager has also confided in DH and other male that she has been having an affair with someone who works in the same department as them (but not on the same team), she isn’t married but said man was married and had children. Again I don’t think this is appropriate and does make me a bit uneasy that she obviously doesn’t see an issue with hooking up with someone that is married and has children, like my DH for example!
Line manager also has gotten into a drunken teary state on one of their nights out, which again isn’t how your colleagues should be seeing you IMO, especially in such a high ranking job as she is in.
I have seen a message in the past on the group chat where she was thanking the both of them for something and said “love you dudes”, and DH did reply “you’re welcome, love you too”. Of course you can say love you to the opposite sex and it not meaning love as in real love, but I’m worried if DH might give off the wrong impression and open a can of worms because I have also heard off someone else that she tends to fall too hard too soon for someone she dates. So obviously there is some deep down jealousy going on in me I suppose, and I do wholeheartedly trust DH, he is very open about everything (as you can see above with me knowing all of this!), but I can’t help that this is a potentially messy friendship they have going on. And that I don’t think she should be behaving the way she does in her position towards her other colleagues, such as gossiping about them, sharing personal conversations, and not including the others as well. I also worry DH won’t get very far in his line of work with such a close relationship with someone above him because others might be talking about how close they are and purposely lose out on promotions in case it looks like favouritism.
AIBU about their friendship and should put my worries to bed or should I be worried that things could get a bit messy?