To ask what could be wrong with her.

[Stressedafff]

sorry this is a long post.

I have a friend I’ve been friends with since reception, we’ve been best friends all through primary, secondary and now as 21 year olds.
recently her behaviour has started to confuse me and i don’t even know what it is.

so, she is a compulsive liar, but for sympathy only, she always has been. the reason i know it’s lies as she’ll say somethings happened to her on a certain day or date and then trip herself up saying something else happened on xyz day. it’s constant. if she says somethings happened to her, then an article or whatever is popular on the newspaper page with something worse happening to someone else she’ll take that and make it her story. at first it was lies about silly minor things like someone giving her a dirty look on a bus and now it’s quite serious lies that could get someone into trouble.

she requires constant praising, even for minor things, she has to be known as strong and brave and will say anything to make people think that of her. she’s also doing outrageous things for attention such as writing and sending pictures to men in prison so she can be a prison girlfriend. she doesn’t know these men she finds them on WhatsApp groups.

she causes chaos, there’s a friendship group of 4 of us and on any significant day like a birthday, holiday, or other occasion something bad has happened to her. Eg, on my birthday last year she bombarded our group chat with messages that someone had threw a Molotov cocktail into her garden, this turned out to be absolute nonsense.

She also turns every conversation about herself, her troubles etc and it’s just concerning me now that something is seriously wrong as I don’t think this behaviour is normal. It’s been very gradual since we were at school. I am confused

As a grown woman I wouldn't have time for this kind of behavior in my life.

Tbh I don’t. I don’t really speak to her 1 to 1 anymore. She posts in a group chat with our other friends. I don’t really want anything to do with her but it’s quite scary that she would be willing to say I’ve done all sorts to make herself look a victim. Maybe I’m overthinking but I’m very very wary

It's tricky... You feel loyalty to a friend you've invested time and care in, yet her behaviour is becoming more challenging and you, rightly feel there could be something you could do to avert disaster...
What do other members of tie friendship group think? Do her parents comment on her behaviour?
Going out on a limb to try to discuss this with her could be risky, certainly tread carefully.
Definitely try to extend your friendship options without her, this friend sounds very hard work, a loose cannon and even a danger to those around her.
Good luck xx

Her parents are good people. She had a good childhood, all our friend group has really scaled back with her as it’s just becoming constant. One friend even said she’s convinced this girl has factitious disease because of the constant need for sympathy. She lies about illnesses, injuries absolutely everything, and she’s accused people of extremely bad things, DV, sexual assault etc so the worry is there that we could end up being defamed due to her need to be a professional victim

It sounds exhausting. I’m guessing she has very low self esteem and thinks the only reason people would want to continue a friendship with her would be in order to support her through her troubles or be impressed with her crazy life. I think all you can do is have a proper conversation with her, telling her that you, and everyone else, knows these stories are lies. Explain that you care for her and your friendship but also explain how the lies are making you feel.